Library Protests by Checking Out Books - All of Them

Pictured:  Not the library in question.

The library in Stony Stratford, England did not hold a bake sale when they heard about threats of being closed down; they decided to empty the place.  Lead by a Facebook Campaign, the residents of the town were encouraged to check out their maximum limit of items (15) and empty the shelves by Saturday.  They succeeded with 24 hours left to go.  Just goes to show that when the chips (fries?) are down, a community will rally around a library in need.  

If you think this is a "cock and bull" story (we were told the residents of Stony would like that), click here

Image here

Librarians Don't Like Wikipedia: Whaaaaaaaa?

Your source for all information about Optimus Prime.

I have been threatening to talk about Wikipedia for a while.  I will not say all I have to say, but today we talk about groundbreaking article that is about seven years too late.  This article tells the masses that librarians do not like Wikipedia as a primary, secondary, or as a general source of information.  Gasp!

Have we all used Wikipedia?  Yes.  If you are reading this right now on a computer, then you have used Wikipedia.  That is okay.  If you need quick information that is widely known or some bit of knowledge in pop culture to settle a bar bet, knock yourself out.  But if you are researching a paper and cite a Wikipedia article as a credible source you should be castrated with your laptop so the rest of us do not have to look at your dumbass children.

Does Wikipedia have a place in research?  Hell yes. Sometimes (better now than in the past) authors on Wikipedia cite their sources way down at the bottom of the article.  These sources can then often be used as legitimate reference points.

So, the next time you find yourself about to cite Wikipedia in a paper or any other writing/speech that is the least bit important, think about this:  The Wikipedia article for George Washington is about 8,800 words as of this writing.  The article for Optimus Prime is around 10,800 words.  The people who write for Wikipedia care more about the leader of the Autobots than for the first president of this country and you lazy bastards trust them with providing you research!

Archie Comics First on the eComic Bandwagon!

Watch out all you Archie-reading Ipad owners, starting this April you will be able to get your favorite redhead all digital-like.  Archie will become the first mainstream comic to print on the same day in print and electronically, so says this source.  Add to that, the online edition will be about $1 cheaper at regular price, also a first. 

So, not only does this jerky, freckle-face get two hotties fighting over him, he is also still in print?  And now in electro-print?  I wonder how Betty, Veronica, Jughead, other guy, old guy, and the rest of the crew feel about being exploited like this.  I bet we know whose pockets that $1 comes from, am I right?  Your tax dollars!  How, you ask?  Through a complex arrangements of kite schemes and cheeseburger futures.  Fight the power!

Library of Congress Turns Up the Heat

Earlier today the Madison Building of the Library of Congress was evacuated when the smell of smoke was reported.  The cause of the smell turned out to be a malfunctioning air handler. 

During their hour-long banishment from the building, the employees joined hands and began singing "We Didn't Start the Fire," Billy Joel's 1989 classic.  A local monkey cameraman got the enitre incident on tape.

I am not a monkey, I am a great ape cameraman!

Because the employees were at work when the incident was filmed, and footage of the film instantly went viral, the entire Library of Congress is now under a very ironic copyright lawsuit.

Original article here

 

Image from here.

Library of Congress Gets It's Music On!

 LoC is big ballin' now, baby!

Universal Media group recently donated about 200,000 master recordings to the Library of Congress.  The collection features such recording artists as Louis Armstrong, Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holiday, Judy Garland, Tommy Dorsey, Jimmy Dorsey, the Andrews Sisters and other artists from the 1920s, 30s, and 40s.  The Library plans to digitize the collection and make them available as soon as possible.

 Now, how do I make fun of this bit of straight news?  Well, think about what this implies.  In 70 years or so, there will be a Library of Congress collection of "Creed."  Let that sink in for a moment.  Past our lifetimes, someone will be stumbling around the future equivalent of the LoC website and find a "Creed" song.  I will go and allow you to shudder.

LA Times article here

Image from here

How to Effectivly Complain

Problems come in many shapes and sizes.  As babies have learned, the best way to solve your problems is by complaining.

 Is the wittle baby gonna cry? Jesus, get Jerry some more toner.

Unfortunately, complaining in a public library is like spitting in the ocean.  What you have to do is effectively complain so as not only receive as much attention as possible but also social and economic change.  Here are some tips about how to effectively complain:

1.  State Exactly What You Require

Nothing gets you less than being wishy-washy.  Knowing what you want is the first step in getting it.  Other such meaningless platitudes.  All this means is state what you wish clearly and without mumbling or derision.  If you need a wall of spam, you ask for a wall of spam.  Do not ask for some spam, or a little spam, or a can or two to hold you by.  If you need a wall and they give you a can, you go right back and ask for a damn wall.

That's what I am talking about!

2.  Have a Clear, Well-Reasoned Thought
Being loud is only good if your argument is good.  You will sound like a jackass yelling about the time clock being broken because you think Brenda from Reference got five extra minutes on her lunch.  The time clock is not your problem; Brenda is.  Complain about Brenda because Brenda deserves it.  Stalk Brenda, tracking her like a wild animal and document her every move.  Find out what she does those five extra minutes and use that information to get her fired.  As a librarian, you know that information is power, and Brenda is a dust mite under your heel.

Cute sign on Brenda's wall.  What a bitch.

3.  Write Down Your Complaints
A list is a great way to get your thoughts in order about a particular subject.  Not only write down your complaint, but think about why it makes you angry.  Fester in that anger and make it boil down deep in your soul.  Build upon it until a great hate for whatever petty annoyance can be released.  We all know what happens after hate:  STUFF!  Yep, so by getting angry and keeping it down deep, you can get more stuff.  I am sure that is it.

Make sure to use a really good pen, that way you can write in the blood of your enemies.

4.  Make the Bastards Think You Are Crazy

This one can get a few people into trouble.  See, often we think of crazy as deconstructive.  "Breaking down the walls of society one brick at a time" is taken way to literally by too many people.  You can be crazy on very legal terms.  People have been doing it for years, even you.  Think about what you bought the last time you went to a superstore:  duct tape, Cheetos, a monster truck magazine, toilet paper, condoms, a 20 pack of Bud and a Desperate Housewives DVD.  To you, there is a very good reason for owning all of these items.  The cashier thinks you should go ahead and get a copy of the Deliverance soundtrack to roll-out the weekend.  The point is, think fun crazy, but not fun crazy.

Example:  Starting a forest fire to complain about the Yogi Bear movie.  Too far.

So there you go.  A better way to complain is to state exactly what you want with a well-reasoned argument after writing it down, all with the threat that you could do something incredibly weird if your demands are not met. 

Write me back and tell how you did!

Images here, here, here, here, and here

Newbery Announced, Video Games Could Care Less

Video Games not Pwn'd by your Newbery

When Clare Vanderpool's Moon Over Manifest was selected Monday as the 2011 Newbery Medal winner, video games gave less of a crap.  The billion dollar industry has not given a full statement as of yet, but did let slip that "[video games] did not care how many new berries those punk books have, [video games] have fire flowers, magic mushrooms, and medipaks for days, bitch pwn, lolz" during a 6 hour patch update of World of Warcraft.  Video games went on to describe how it would crouch over a dead book if the book were ever man enough to "get up itz ballz and log in."  When told that books were not able to log in and required no power, video games stared at this reporter as if he just crapped in his hand and put a birthday candle in it.  Video games then proceeded to log into Wikipedia to search for this "book" thing, possibly to slay it as one would a dragon with witch powers.

More news about new berries here