Thousands of Pirated eBooks Sold

An Australian based company sold ereaders with nearly 4,000 pirated ebooks loaded on them.

This reminds me of the time when Margaret Westerman sold a safe containing millions in Spanish Gold at the Annual Banned Library Charity Auction and Anti-Snake Rally.  At the time, Ms. Westerman thought her grandfather's old safe contained nothing but sand the man collected during his naval career.  When Mark Spencer, local 12-year-old winner of the Bannville Talent Show and Speed Dating, won the safe for $15 dollars and two rattlesnake-skins, he thought he had a wonderful prop for his one man show, "I'm Safe With You." 

Both were shocked to discover the Spanish Gold after the safe was openned by the Bannville Fire Department and Hunt Club.   A small fight and legal battle occured right there in the library over rights to the safe and its contents, settled by Judge Ford Oldman.  Oldman gave the safe to Spencer, as that was the item he bid on, as well as half the gold.  He gave a forth of the gold to Ms. Westerman, as she had technically given up her rights to the contents but it seemed messed up not to give her something to remind of her father.  He took the rest for court fees.

E-book deal's the steal of the century; 4000 pirated books - Maroondah Weekly

Google Offers $1 Million in Rewards to Hack Chrome

Internet browsers are taking all types of scrutiny lately about their lack of security, so Google has decided to step up the competition by offering $1 Million in prizes for anyone who can hack their Chrome Browser.  Funny enough, Google itself plans to claim the prizes as it combines your search and usage data on all its services March 1st.

I don't really want to put Google down.  This honestly will cost them less in the long run as hackers across the world will scramble to find all the errors in Chrome for free and then tell them about it.  Who knows what all that testing would cost?  That along with the publicity (which we can all agree that this little start up needed) will give the company a charge in development that you cannot pay for.

Google Will Offer $1 Million In Rewards For Hacking Chrome In Contest

Students Battle Librarian's Heart

The students of Piper Elementary in Kansas City, KS came to their school librarian's rescue when her heart decided it just had too much and attacked the woman.  The students would not allow the heart to be victorious this day and saved the woman from her body's attempted murder.

Huzzah to the students that would not allow the natural course of life to continue.  I have a theory:  They have such a belief in sparkly forever vampire love that they have completely put aside the notion of death and embrace everyone's life, enough to do war with God and all his creation.

However, I must insist the students in my library would resurrect me simply to ask where the bathroom is.

Students Save School Librarian's Life - fox4kc.com

Top Six Best Movie Libraries

The Oscars are tonight so I decided to look back at libraries in cinema.  The library is an influential setting as it denotes knowledge and a place for the characters to regroup.  And it can have some cool stuff in it.  So here, presented in alphabetical order are the Six Best Movie Libraries:

Ghostbusters: New York Public Library

This is not a made up library, you say.  True, the New York Pulbic Library is a fixture on the biblio landscape, but this movie proves how great it can be: freaking ghosts.  When the boys go on their first job and encounter the irregular stacked books and the librarian ghost, it is hard not to feel a little bad your library is not so haunted.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone: Hogwart”s Library

The library shows up over and over in J K Rowling’s fictional tale of the boy wizard, but none so prominent as in the first movie.  This library is badass not because of its fantastical subject matter but because of the Restricted section, a place for evil and uncontrollable books.  Whoa to thee who opens those evil tomes.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: Unnamed Venice Library

Indy checks out the library for a moment before smashing through the floor and finding an ancient crypt below.  While the library itself is not that important a setting, it simply has to be mentioned because of the hilarious part with the “stamp guy.”

Librarian: Quest of the Spear:  The Library

Do I even have to say why this library is awesome?  It holds the ancient artifacts from across history, both magical and mundane.  How cool would it be to catalog Excalibur?

Name of the Rose: Monastery Library

This dark and depressing crime drama set in olden times is home to one of the greatest libraries in written and filmed history.  How many of you wished you worked in a labyrinthine building filled with deadly traps and codes.  Bonus points for Sean Connery in a bowl cut.

Pagemaster: Public Library

Crappy movie only good for mocking and nostalgia, but come’on, the library can turn you into a cartoon.  That’s just a little bit awesome of a plot device in anyone’s book.

Pleasantville: Pleasantville Public Library

While not awesome in the regular sense, it is cool as a narrative device.  In a world without color or passion, books are blank and empty.  As the world fills, so do the books, making the library one of the best places in town.  I have to believe this library is awesome just for that.

Honorable mentions:


Beautiful Mind: Princeton Library
Yeah, not much of a plot point, but images of beautiful windows with reading nooks are awesome.
Breakfast Club: School Library
This movie could be set in any school location, but the dynamic look of library with statues, balcony’s and doors that won’t stay open keep it iconic.
Music Man: River City Library
Again, not all that important to the plot, but the music number is great.
Stephen King’s It: Derry Library
The scene could be left out, but Pennywise showing up and doing a creepy dance in the library was memorable.
With Honors: Widener Library
Maybe I just want to live in the basement of a library with miles of books overhead.
What Dreams May Come: Heaven’s Library
Brief scene with really cool library that you could fly around.  Heaven, indeed.

Special thanks to the project of Movie Librarians for research

Paypal Censors Smashwords Erotic Content?

The ebook website Smashwords says the Paypal told them that they must remove all content that includes bestiality, rape and incest.  Paypal has given Smashwords until Tuesday, Feb 28th or lose the payment vendor's services.

I don't know what to be more scared of here: the fact that a money vendor can censor content or that PayPal does not understand leap years.  While it is a well known fact that PayPal does not allow its service to be used by "adult" vendors for spanky products (check their service agreement), the old arguement of art versus pornography must be once again raised.  Oh, and in case you are wondering, you can get a copy of just about every copy of the Marquis de Sade and Bret Eston Ellis's books on eBay (company has a bit of a connection with PayPal) if you want to have a moral quandry for a second.

As for my second part, PayPal, come'on.  Acknowledge the Leap Year, brother, or go for a "last Friday of the Month" policy.  No reason to be hatin' on an extra day.

PayPal As Moral Police? Forces E-Book Sellers To Remove Certain Erotica Content - TechCrunch

Library Head Wishes Patrons Would Protest More

Pictured: Not Mary Hastler

Mary Hastler, director of the Harford County Public Library, is encouraging her patrons to write, email and otherwise contact publishers who are pulling their support for ebook lending.  Like a scene straight from the classic movie Jerry Maguire, Hastler sent 160,000 patrons a letter outlining what is happening and how they can react.  Unlike Jerry Maguire, Hastler will probably not get to hang out with Renee Zellwegger's son and trade random facts on a couch.

I am totally fine with this approach, and I think that more people should contact relevant parties on issues they feel strongly about, but do you think it will make a difference?  Is saying to a major company, "We want your product, but do not want to pay for it!" the best way to make a point?

How about writing to your congressman to suggest programs that could benefit companies that lend to public libraries and schools?  That would be P.R. awesomeness on all parts.  And, well, every other company is getting bailouts, why can't the public benefit?

Harford library head urges readers to protest in e-books dispute - Baltimore Sun (blog)

Fox News Discovers Books are Targeted to Demographics

The following article link was posted by Fox News as a surprised reaction to the moniker "chick nonfiction."  While not the most original label for a type of nonfiction material (I prefer "womyn truth books), this should not shock anyone too much in a market where Eat, Pray, Love got published and made into a major motion picture.  Every item you see is marketed to some demographic specifically, but not so much that it can't get others involved.

I imagine them wondering the aisles of a nonfiction section.  "Holy crap, why do the cookbooks have pictures of cute or grandmotherly-type women cooking on them?"  "R. Lee Ermy is on so many military books!"  "The Backstreet Boys had a crafting book?"

'Chick nonfiction' moniker designed to put books written by women in their place - Fox News

Amazon Pulls eBooks from Store

After a disagreement with the Independent Publishers Group, Amazon pulled the publisher's titles (nearly 5000) from its market.  This comes nearly a month after Amazon's own books were pulled from the chain bookstore Barnes and Nobles.

This brings to mind a problem we had last year with the Bannville Ladies Auxillary quilt display.  Edna Snarffle and Betsy Farmer, co-heads of the BLA nearly came to blows over a quilt constructed of various 80s band tour shirts.  The quilt, titled Band Stand, was made by Ms. Snarffle from her collection of shirts that had worn thin over the last 30 years of wear and tear.  The quilt as a whole was not the issue as there is always a t-shirt quilt somewhere in the mix.  The issue came when Mrs. Farmer objected to the inclusion of both pre- and post- David Lee Roth Van Halen t-shirts.  Mrs. Farmer, a supporter of Mr. Roth, objected to the quilt as a matter of principle.  The Ladies Auxillary was nearly torn in two, along with the quilt, until it was removed from the collection and placed in the geneology room where a sign was displayed, "Band Stand Quilt inside, possibly offensive."

Amazon takes a company's e-books out of stores after disagreement - Christian Science Monitor

Google to Sell Internet Glasses This Year

Google apparently has invented a way to stream information into eyeglasses as a heads up display. 

1)  I wear glasses.  What is Google gonna do for me?  No offence, I trust you with my email and documents, but I will not be adopting Google Lasiks.
2)  I hate those people that talk to the thing in their ears when I am helping them.  How am I going to deal with some asshole watching Breaking Bad on Netflix while trying to talk to me?
3)  Driving.  See #2
4)  Uneven sidewalks.  See #2
5)  Despite all this, I really want some. 

Bits Blog: Google to Sell Heads-Up Display Glasses by Year's End

Astronaut to Publish Picture Book "Mousetronaut"

Astronaut Mark Kelly has signed a deal with Simon & Schuster to publish a picture book entitled "Moustronaut."  The book will detail one mouse's experiences in space. 

I would like to take this opportunity to outline my own picture book, "Ratbrarian."

The rat lives in a public library, nesting in the archived newspapers that are never looked at anymore because the librarians are still collecting them a year back even though the articles are all available online.  Each night he ventures out to the break room, where he dines on the discarded popcorn left in the trashcan and the pizza boxes left over after board meetings.  He also reads Harlequinn romance novels and dreams of a lady mouse to share his time with. Then he is eaten by the cat the librarians adopt.

Astronaut Mark Kelly to Publish a Picture Book With Simon & Schuster's Paula ... - Sacramento Bee

A Fire in Color? Amazon, You Might Have Me if it Smells

Amazon is set to unveil their newest ebook reader, the Kindle Fire 2, which if reports are true will be in eink color. 

Finally I can have my books in pasty sepia and charcoal of old books rather than the normal black and white.  But hold on... No, I will not be purchasing this.  I am waiting for the Fire 3... well, let us be serious, the Fire 5, that will contain the availibility of book smell.  Little gas potpourri dispensers that you can put a cartridge in and the smells will fill the room. 

Do not stop at the smell of ink and glue, though.  These ereaders already have sounds of the park or the subway, lets make it smell like that, too.  I want to be able to sit quietly at home and hear the gentle rock of the subway car and smell the faint pee smell of the guy next to me.  Memories, people, that's all I want.

Rumour: Amazon to unveil a colour ebook reader, Kindle Fire 2 - PC Authority

Mom Defeats Daughter, Becomes Head Librarian

Jodi Russ only had to bide her time for her mother to step down to take over as Head Librarian at the New Bedford library.  Despite planning a coup for nearly 14 years, the wily librarian only had to wait for her mother to retire.  Let us all learn from this:  All you have to do is wait and empires will crumble. 
In all serious, we hope this dynasty continues.  Congrats to Russ and we hope she has a long and fulfilling career.  But watch your back.  There's always another waiting in the wings.

New Bedford librarian follows in mom's footsteps - Green Bay Press Gazette

Money Lost in Yonkers Library

A library employee at the Yonkers library has admitted to stealing $164,000.  The now ex-employee faces prison time.

Look, we have all been there.  You are hanging out in the library, not helping people because that would be silly.  You read stories about libraries facing closure around the nation and you think, "I can do bad all by myself."  Plus, you really want that Battlestar boxset.  Do what you want/got to do.

But that was all a joke.  What this really proves is that libraries are just as susceptable to employees breaking bad than every other industry.  We might be bigger targets even, because we are like the nice guy in town that opens the door for you and you take his wallet while his hands are full.  Anyway, I hope this person gets what they deserve, be it punishment or help.

Yonkers library worker admits stealing $163582, faces prison - The Journal News | LoHud.com

Are You There God, It's Me, Newton

The papers of Sir Isaac Newton concerning theological stuff are now available online through an Israeli library's website.  Some 7,500 pages of handwritten text have been digitized and uploaded.

One of the greatest thinkers of our time has thoughts on gods and stuff.  I would love it if halfway through mathmatical proofs of the greatest mystery of what's beyond the veil we suddenly get "Fuck this, I bet its nothing more than a giant spaghetti monster behind the moon."

Israeli library uploads Newton's theological texts - Newsday

British Library Archives Video Game Culture

The British library has begun archiving video game websites and materials to preserve the culture of the gaming industry and its peoples.

I have heard of people archiving video games (my cousin has over 45 original Nintendo games in his garage) but I think keeping the culture might be dangerous.  Imagine researchers of the future combing through message boards and comments, the thousands of files of the word "First!"  Think of how our computer overlords will look back and hear screaming 12 year olds calling out for death to campers.  Those robots will then take that as prophesy for the how the National Parks system was destroyed and view them as historical facts. 

Just be careful what you say about the next Skyrim update, I'm just saying.

British Library starts videogame website archive project - The Independent

Couple Finds Love Volunteering at Library, Let's Do Some Happy Valentine Crap

The following story link is about a couple finding each other after they volunteered at a local library book sale.  It is cute.  And above my paygrade for a cheap Valentine's post, so here's my synopsis of my favorite Valentine movie, Predator.

A military group goes into the jungle to kill all kinds of stuff.  An alien comes to a planet to practice the most dangerous hunt.  What they find is love.  A story of mudwrestling, heat, and barechested violence, Predator is a story that warms the heart with its explosive conclusion.

LOVE AMONG THE STACKS: Couple finds romance volunteering at local library book ... - Baxter Bulletin

Valentine at the Banned Library

It has been unseasonably warm at the Banned Library, both in temperature and temperament.  As the February sun beams down on the small town of Bannville, a controversy begins...

Little Beckie Thompson could not sit still during Mrs. Betty's story time.  The circulation librarian was not well versed in entertaining children, especially with her uninspired rendition of "Green Eggs and Ham".  Beckie looked around her, noticing all the other patrons milling around attempting not to notice Betty somehow damaging each rhyme as she created run-on sentence after run-on sentence.

Beckie noticed several adults going to the back of the library, to the door to the basement where the computers were kept.  As Betty stumbled on with foxes in boxes, Beckie stood up and wondered towards the door and down the steps.

The florescent lighting cast harsh shadows around the figures hunched over their computer screens.  Naomi the Reference librarian stood over the printer, staring at the pages pouring out.  Beckie wove her way into the cubical garden, staring at the flashing screens.  She stopped in front of one man, one screen where the shapes on the screen hold her attention.

Norma Thompson, Beckie's mother, stood up from the terminal.  Checking her watch, she gathered her purse and books and began walking to pick up Beckie.  As she walked down the aisle, she was shocked to see her daughter standing in the computer lab.

"Beckie?" Norma said.

Beckie did not move.  She seemed transfixed at the screen of the man in front of her.  

"Beckie?" Norma said again.  She began walking toward her daughter, cursing the older men who hung around the library watching "My Little Pony."  What do they call them? she thought, thinking back to the news report she saw a few weeks ago.  Goonies?  Moonies?  Bronies, that was it.

Norma took her daughter's hand.  Beckie looked up at her mother and pointed to the screen.  Norma looked and screamed as loud as she could.

I was sitting in my office when I heard the scream.  I did not get up from my chair.  Despite what you hear about libraries being tombs of silent study, a good bit of noise does go on.  Plus, Betty was outside doing story time and Naomi was downstairs.  While Dave from Tech Serve is often out of pocket, I bet in a pinch even he would lend a hand.  

No, I do not often have to worry about the screams.  Not until the authorities become involved, anyway.  I just have to worry about getting my girlfriend some flowers on the Internet.  Normally I would go down to Forgiveness Flowers on Second Street and get some tulips and a simple vase, but I am avoiding the owner, Ed, after I chose not to use his overpriced poinsettias around the library for Christmas this year.  How much does something have to cost that people only appreciate once a year?

So, here I am, trying to pick between “Lover’s Bouquet” with the red vase and the “Tulips for Kissing” with the optional stuffed bear when Norma bursts into my office.

No one ever knocks on my office door.  I am not even sure why it is there.  It is as if the door was constructed only for folks to make dramatic entrances.

“Mr. Banned!  Do you know what my daughter just saw?” she says.

I put on my most non-threatening, dealing-with-a-mad mother smile and say, “Norma, so good to see you.  How is little Bethany?”

“Beckie.  Her name is Beckie. And she is traumatized.”  

Behind Norma I see little Beckie.  She peaks her head around her mother’s hips and gives me a toothy grin.

“What’s going on?” I ask.

“My daughter was looking for me in that basement you call a computer center when she saw a man...”

“Yes?” I say, my heart dropping just a little.

Norma reaches down and clasps her hands over Beckie’s ears, “Pornography.  He was looking at pornography.”

“Oh, I am so sorry.  We do not allow that kind of material to be displayed in the library,” I stand up, attempting to look in charge of something, “In fact, it is against Mississippi law for those types of materials to be displayed in public.  I’ll look in to this at once.”

That must have sounded at least a little convincing because her scowl has become a slight smile.  A vengeful one, but a smile none the less.

“What are you gonna do to him?” she asks, her smile growing a little more.

“I’m sorry, but this is more of a library matter now.  But don’t worry, something will be done,” I say as I walk around my desk, “Would you like to wait for a bit in my office?”

I see little Beckie eyeing my candy jar so I reach in and give her a root beer sucker while her mother looks around my office.  Distracted by the assortment of old movie posters and various science fiction memorabilia, Norma does not notice the hand-off or Beckie slide the sucker into her pocket.

“No, we need to go,” Norma says, “Thank you for hearing me out.”

“You are very welcome,” I say.  Her shoulders relax and she guides little Beckie out of the office and to the front door.  

I watch them from my window as they leave.  People do not realize this, but the librarians see everything, the whole of the community.  We know your secrets, even if you do not say anything, even through closed doors in an office.  We do not spy, that would be unprofessional, but librarians by nature are inquisitive knowledge seekers.  

Take Beckie and Norma, for instance.  Beckie likes Dr. Seuss, but also sometimes looks at the big picture books, looking for Waldo and gravitates to books where father’s are a big topic. 

Norma likes romance and fantasy books but has spent some time in our legal section reading up on divorce.  She also likes to go online and talk with distant friends.  She was once a dancer, graceful and disciplined on stage.  You can still see it when she walks.  But she met someone who excited her, someone in the military, and moved south and had a family.  She still keeps in contact with all her dancer friends.  She still dreams about where she was, mostly on nights when she and her daughter come home to an empty house because her husband’s job, his service, requires him to be away for most of the year.  

She thinks of divorcing him sometimes, of leaving little Beckie with his parents.  Then he would have to come home.  Then her daughter would know her daddy.  Then Norma could dance again.

But that’s a selfish dream, one she only entertains for fleeting moments, for times when she comes to the library and sees the books that can tell her how to go through with it.  The dream is nothing she will ever do, could ever do.  Especially in those brief times when he comes home and the house is filled with the smell of shoe polish and oil.  The times he is back and in the garage working on the old car with books she collected from the library.  When she can take him and their daughter to story time.  

Beckie sits in her daddy’s lap during story time.  She’s very quiet and still and listens with her head against his chest.  After the story, the two of them pull out the big picture books and find Waldo.  Then they check out a dozen Dr. Seuss so he can read them to her at bed time.  Before he leaves again.

How do I know all this?  I watch, I listen, I check people out.  I know about them and learn about them.  

I step out of my office when Beckie and Norma are in their car and on their way home.  I ask Betty how story time went and she says, “Fine.”  I decide not to push the issue as to why a child could wander away when it was right in front of her, but then I am certain little Beckie could out smart our circulation librarian every day of the week.

I go downstairs and ask Naomi what happened and she gives me the briefing.  She already talked to the man.  He was looking at a medical website where he was researching a very personal injury when the little girl came up.  The man, embarrassed and shocked by Norma’s screaming, had already left.  To be sure, Dave checked the computer’s history and the story panned out.  No harm done.

I head back to my office.  Sitting down, I stare at the computer screen with the array of flowers and stuffed animals and balloons and vases.  I think about the Thompson’s, Norma and Beckie and their father far off, working hard.  I wonder if halfway across the world that man is staring at a similar screen and wondering if Norma would like either “Tulips for Kissing” or the “Roses are Rediculous” bouquets.  

Happy Valentine’s, sir.

Mommy Group Mad They Can't Hold Private Meetings at Public Library

A local group named "Cool Mommies" have been told that they can no longer use King County Library System's meeting rooms because the library says they hold private meetings and turn away other members of the public.  The library's policy states that meetings held at the library must be public and the group's behavior of turning away children and others from the area violate that policy.

The debate around this issue has come up often.  Space in a public library is more important than real estate in Manhattan.  To set areas aside for groups to gather and meet means there is space not occupied by library materials.  However, public meeting places are important.  They give groups an area to converge, talk, discuss and meet without bias.  If you reserve a meeting room at a public library, know that you are reserving public space and that all should be welcome.  And throw away your damn trash, we are not your janitors.

If the great duo of "Garfunkle and Oates" got it right when they sang "Pregnant Women are Smug," then the adendem should be that mommies can be a very entitled group.  This issue here is not mommies being snubbed but of a group taking space from the community.  Bravo to the library that keeps all its doors open, both outside and in.

'Cool Mommies' Miffed at Not Being Allowed to Use Kirkland Library Room - Patch.com

Library's Need a Pirate Mentality

Getting an MLIS would be so much more fun if it were more like how you Joined the navy back in the day:

"I went out drinking with these librarians... Next thing I knew I woke up in the stacks with nothing but a cataloging manual and a cart of books.  A disembodied voice yelled out 'Shelve or die, page!' 

Over the next couple of months I would run across a new cart with more books and I would shelve those, too.  All I had to eat was stale popcorn and juice boxes. 

Then, slowly, I learned the way of the Dewey and found my way out of the stacks.  I learned I was the only one of my group to do so, making me worthy of the title 'library assistant.'  After a few more years, battling incoming patrons and manning the computer lab, I made friends with The Director.  Less and less was I told to go out to the desk.  I was made a part of the institution.

One day she bid me into her office.  'I am not the true Director' she said, 'The real Director has been retired for years and living quite comfortably in Florida.  The next shift change, I too shall retire and leave you the library.'

Good to her word, she retired and I took her position after we found a new crew.  Every once in a while she would pop back in, all the while calling me Director.  And that's how I became The Director of the library."

Yeah, I wish it was that way.  I wish it was so that when the Director retired, they moved a worthy soul up and hired from the bottom.  But looking at library job postings can tell you this is not the common practice.  Why would you want to get new blood in the profession, anyway?  Might as well only advertise for director positions, it is not like those new graduates know anything useful. 

And going out drinking after work would be so much more fun if we could kidnap people.  Just saying.

Something about Penguins Hating Libraries

Penguin Books has pulled its e-titles from publisher Overdrive and from library lending programs. 

Penguin (and other companies that have pulled their support for library lending) claim that putting their books out there for free to the public encourages piracy and profit loss.  I can see their point.  Library's have always promoted piracy.  This past year alone I can not count how many times I caught little old ladies hunched over the copy machine with a copy of The Help.  You have to watch those crazy ladies.

Penguin Stops Selling e-Books to Libraries - Publishers Weekly

Library Threatens Salvation Army Prom Dresses

The Union County library is looking for prom dresses for a second annual prom dress and accessory sale at the library to be held soon.

I struggle to find a point to this.  Yes, it is a community event that will bring people to the library.  Yes, it provides a service to those people looking for cheap and nice dresses.  Does this help the library mission, though?  Does this mean we can expand the library to overtake the local Salvation Army?

I can picture that.  The library staff literally going to the matresses, taking on the bright boys in red of the S.A. over an estate sale of a retiree.  Can the library get the headboard and half the coffee cup collection?  Those could fund next year's performance of Marco the Exquisite's magic show for the summer reading program.  That monkey lamp?  It could be gold on eBay. 

Hell, let's expand the book sale to include a farmer's market, open extra early Sunday morning.  I bet that will up the checkouts on the new James Patterson.
Union County library seeks prom dresses, accessories - Palladium-Item

Library President Quits After Selling His Own Books to Library

The president of the Middletown library has resigned after signing invoices to sell his own books to the library.  After a career total of about $750, the president feels he can do no better and retire before he hits a slump.

We imagine his last statement to be something like, "In the book market, it's all about who you know.  With the landscape changing to ebooks, I don't think i could keep up my conflict of interest much longer.  I want to thank all the fans and Friends that supported me along the way.  It's better to burn out than to fade away."

Well, I guess he is correct and we wish him a long and storied future as we have not heard from a named source that he plans to sell needles to nonprofit drug counciling centers.

Middletown library chief resigns over selling his own books to library - Asbury Park Press

New Library Announces The First People to Go Inside

The Los Gatos Library announced the first five ticket winning children to enter their newly opened library. 

I will not make any "golden ticket" or "The Cats Library" jokes here.  This actually brought a genuine smile to my face and happiness to my heart:  People vied for the opportunity to be the first to enter a library.  Not a club, not a Wal-Mart, a library.  Five children get to be in the history books as library supporters.  This is important and interesting as proof that our culture is not completely devoid of genuine excitement over knowledge.  This is a contest I can get behind in an era where the majority of stories I read are about library closures.

Los Gatos Library Grand Opening 'First to Enter' Ticket Winners Announced - Patch.com

Mom Attacks Urban Outfitters After They Are Cool

An outraged mother has created a Facebook page decrying Urban Outfitters new sexy Valentine books.  She claims titles like "Position of the Day" are not appropriate for such a wonderful cultural establishment.

This is a problem facing the kids of today.  I mean, the first time I walked into a Hot Topic and saw a pentagram on a t-shirt, I remember thinking, "There's no way the dark lord would agree to that."  The plague of pushing your open values despite my religion without sacrificing a goat to He Who Shall Be Named If You Want To Live Through Armegeddon is sweeping the nation.  I totally understand this woman not wanting an open discussion point with her children.  I like to just stare awkwardly at the children I am sacrificing to the open, cold dark abyss instead of telling them the dangers of talking to strangers.  I should start a Facebook page, too.

Dedham mom blasts Urban Outfitters over sex books - Boston Herald

Communist Manifesto II: The Quickening

Fidel Castro has released a 1,000 page memoir according to Cuban officials.  The document, detailing his life and times as well the rise of Communism in Cuba, is said to be a very enlightening read.

I dunno how to go with this joke: 

1) Fidel Castro can't understand how a capitalist like Steve Jobs will be better remembered with a book than a man who sent a small island paradise into a Communist wasteland.

2) He feels Kim Jong Il stole his communist thunder as World's Craziest Communist.  It hurts to be second best.

Either way, I am not much of a history buff so I can not really comment.  I would love it if a communist diary hit the best seller list, though.  The irony is spectacular.

Fidel Castro unveils 1,000-page memoir

ACLU Steps Up Into Washington Porn Battle, Stirs Nest

The ACLU has sued Wenatchee libraries in Washington state to stop filtering porn on their computers.  This comes after last weeks controversy of a Seattle mother being all waaa waaa over a dude looking at porn in front of her kid while librarians stood back and did nothing but their jobs.  The ACLU has claims that it is unfair that Seattle porn lovers get their freak on in the library rather than the Wenatchee porn lovers, other than, you know, actual issues that matter in terms in civil rights that are going on in this country like internet piracy laws.

ACLU wants Wenatchee libraries to stop filtering public computers - Q13 FOX

I'mma Let You Never Live This Down

Taylor Swift donated 14,000 books to a Nashville library this week.  Insert joke about how Kayne West interupted her donation and wanted to talk about Beyonce's baby.

Taylor Swift donates 14000 books to Nashville library - TheCelebrityCafe.com

London Court Rejects Appeal to Keep Libraries Open

An appeal by campaigners to halt the closure of six Brent area libraries has been rejected by the Supreme Court. 

Just another move by the Man to keep the library system down. 

Brent library closures: Supreme Court rejects appeal bid - BBC News

LoC and French Swap Digital Film Collections

The Library of Congress and the French film archive plan to share digital archives of video footage of each country talking about the other. 

One can only imagine what indecipherable films about America the French will send to us.  Here's a treatment for any french director out there for a future project: A red, white and blue balloon floats through a vineyard, bobbing up and down within the rows of grapevines.  Suddenly a pin flies from the darkness below, but the dull side hits the balloon.  Another pin flies up, but the same reaction.  Then a clown hits the balloon with a fish and announces that "The Mighty has fallen."  The balloon the bounces into a crowd of monkeys dressed in Revolutionary War soldier garb.  The balloon continues bouncing until it lands in the hands of a child dressed as the Statue of Liberty.  The child stares into the camera and pops the balloon.  Fin.

Library of Congress, French film archive swap digitized movies, TV programs ... - Washington Post

This Is Barnes & Sparta!

The retail bookstore Barnes & Noble announced this week that it will not sell books published by Internet giant Amazon.

The brick and mortor store has finally drawn a line in the sand, kicked the messenger down the well if you will.  But did they think about it?  Did the giant make the right move, pissing off an empire that extended their hand in friendship?  I doubt it.  Not only did they just give Amazon exclusivity to their own content, but they also went forward with an idea that people NEED bookstores now-a-days.  One only has to look at the fate of Borders to see that this is not completely true. 

I do salute these brave warriors, though.  A bold move in an ever increasingly violent environment. 

But I really hope the small Mom & Pop bookstores that the larger chain almost put out of business see this as a rally cry.  The little guys can now give exactly what the big stores can not: a personal touch with items they want.

Barnes & Noble won't stock books published by Amazon in stores - Los Angeles Times

Deer Occupy's Library

In a scene not anything like Deer Hunter, a deer crashed through the front window of a Washinton, D.C. library, suprising the hell out of everyone, including itself.  It proceeded to hang around, wild as hell, until local authorities were able to tranqualize and subdue the animal.
I can only assume the deer was attempting to protest deer propaganda in films like Bambi and books like The Yearling where deer are seen as complete wussies that are to be shot.  The deer could not be reached for comment.
Deer Crashes Through DC Library Window - Norwich Bulletin