South Dakota Looking Out for Visually Special Dakotians

“Imagine that every book about South Dakota was available to everyone except you,” Colleen Kirby said. “Stop and think about what if you couldn’t go to Barnes & Noble, what if you couldn’t go to your library. Everyone else is talking about the latest book about South Dakota, but you can’t read it.”

Well, fuck that.  I need my South Dakota updates and if anyone tries to take them from me I'll rip their ears off and add them to my ear collection. 

Wait... Wait...  Okay, I get it now.  Colleen Kirby is the assistant state librarian for South Dakota.  She is talking about the large number of South Dakotian literature that is not available to the visually special population.  See, blind people need to hear books or touch them with their mutant hands, and the items are on cassettes that can not be easily played by the sightless.  As we all found out during the great "steam train disaster" of 1952, the blind can only use current gen technology.  Kirby and the state library are looking to re-record much of the archived collection using local talent rather than just buy a converter on ebay for thirty bucks.  

We at the Banned Library hope the state's project succeeds and the visually special can soon get all that great South Dakota knowledge they have been missing.  Also, we hope we did not offend any blind people with our little jokes because, as we all know, the blind have special ninja powers and could defeat all of us given enough time without rearranging the furniture.

Library seeks voices for audio books - Sioux Falls Argus Leader:

Library seeks voices for audio books Sioux Falls Argus Leader More than 1,500 books now on cassette tapes need to be recorded in a digital format, said Colleen Kirby, assistant state librarian. “This is actually a very cool project,” said Mary Johnson, Siouxland Libraries director. “We were pretty thrilled when ...

Steal a Library Card to Vote in Memphis

"Tennessee voters will be able to show Memphis library cards to cast ballots in the upcoming November election.  A Tennessee appeals court ruled on Thursday that a state requirement that voters must show photo identification is valid, but said the library cards are acceptable."

I think the great state of Tennessee trusts its voters way more than they should.  I cannot say that I have ever seen a Memphis library card (Hell, for all I know it could have everything from your name to your permanent record your second grade teacher was always yelling about on it), but allowing the public to use the library card and only a library card is damn scary.  Just because you are in position of a library card does not mean you are in possession of your library card.  

Of course, this could be a sly message to the rest of the nation that Tennessee knows where it stands.  "We don't give a shit how you get a ballot," the Tennessee courts say, "Cause it don't make a fuck load of difference.  We're votin' Republican!  Red or dead, am I right, Mable?"

Then Mable shakes her head and goes back into the woods to mind the moonshine still and the ten children.

Memphis Library Cards Will Count as Valid ID at Polls - ABC News:

ABC News

Memphis Library Cards Will Count as Valid ID at Polls ABC News Tennessee voters will be able to show Memphis library cards to cast ballots in the upcoming November election. A Tennessee appeals court ruled on Thursday that a state requirement that voters must show photo identification is valid, but said the ... Tenn. appeals voter ID ruling over library cardSan Francisco Chronicle Tennessee: State Appeals Ruling on Library IDsNew York Times State officials appeal library card voter ID ruling to TN Supreme CourtThe Tennessean Shelbyville Times-Gazette -Memphis Commercial Appeal -Houston Chronicle all 249 news articles »

Penguin and Random House Merge To Create Penguin Random House.

Two publishing giants, Random House and Penguin, have announced plans to merge and focus their efforts on being "more adventurous" with ebooks.

Tale as old as time, Random House.  The little woman wants you to try new things, experiment more.  Then you wake up in Vegas forming synergy bonds with six dollar crack whores, there's a penguin in the bedroom that smells like your wife who you may or may not have sold into white slavery, and you need to start wondering how deep you have to dig so the coyotes won't find the body.  Here's all you need to know: Keep your head up, don't look it in the eyes and above all else wear a condom.  You do not know where that penguin has been.

Penguin and Random House merge, promise a brave new e-book future - Engadget:

The Guardian

Penguin and Random House merge, promise a brave new e-book future Engadget While the two are engaged in the usual corporatespeak of creating "synergies" (read: resource cuts), we're more interested in talk of the union being a springboard for digital efforts: Penguin Random House wants to be "more adventurous" with e-book ... Penguin Random House aims to attack digital, emerging ebooks marketspaidContent.org Penguin, Random House Merger Is OfficialGood E-Reader (blog) Penguin and Random House to merge and compete against Amazon and AppleITProPortal Expatica Germany -Economic Times all 481 news articles »

Article Dump: Building and Funding A Library

It takes a lot of money to make things free to the public.  Facilities, staff, programs, all these things cost cash to keep the great information ball a-rolling.  Here's several articles from this week about libraries trying to do just that:



Library CEO says $10 million in Vision2 funds critical to Central Library renovation
Am I the only one that sees the term "Library CEO" and cringes a little?  Seems wrong in some way, but let's hope that the project funding gets passed, especially since the Tulsa library system already has raised $15 Million in capital to match the city if it does.

Libraries, Austin Studios on the ballot as Proposition 18
A bill will pass that will grant around $8 million for library renovations and upgrades as well as expanding Austin Studios.  Very odd way to slide that in on the bill, but I get arts, entertainment and the library go hand in hand.  "Hey, we doing that production of 'Murder House III?'"  "Yeah, we just gotta wait on funds for the new children's department to go through first." "Cool."

Library managers seek restoration of funding, staff
I have nothing snarky to say on this one. I am just going to quote from the article and hope.
"The Nelson County library employs one full-time staffer and several part-timers whose average age is 62, said branch manager Tanith Knight. Cuts have the library operating at 42 hours a week, six shy of the suggested weekly hours for small branches in the Jefferson-Madison Regional Library system, she said."

Repairing Library Leak to Cost $720,913; Council Vote Expected Tuesday

I think every library roof is constructed by blind mice leaving ways for their brothers to get in after they were done.  True story: I once worked at a library where the contractor went on the roof, looked at the leak and shouted down "Somebody shot your roof.  With a gun."

Library starts construction on aquarium

We ain't talking no bowl for Goldie the goldfish either.  650 gallons of pure fish torture.  Throw some highlights down there and you've got my dentist office.  Least it's not a damn fountain.

Amazon Under Fire: Erasing Ebooks and Overcharging

Right out of the gate with have this story where Techdirt explains how one Kindle user had her account wiped and Kindle locked down with no reason whatsoever given.  This is the point where you have to step back and look at the awesomeness of having thousands of books at your fingertips versus the control companies now have over that awesomeness.  Imagine a Barnes and Noble representative coming to your house and taking all your physical copies away then issuing you a statement that you were barred from all their stores.  Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Now let's take a look at how Amazon is taking money from British people and how the government stopped them:

According to The Telegraph:
"Amazon is making British publishers pay 20 per cent VAT on ebook sales, despite their true VAT cost for UK ebook sales being closer to 3 per cent."

It seems after this news was let out, someone in the government noticed and took swift action:

From The Guardian:
"Amazon is to be stripped of its huge tax advantage on the sales of electronic books after the European commission ordered Luxembourg to close a VAT loophole."

So you get loophole abuse by getting a lower rate.  Sure, I can get behind that.  You are a large company and large companies do things to save money.  But not passing on savings, nay, charging fees that are non-existent to you?  That's just wrong on every level.

Shame on you Amazon.  

You Know You Ban Too Many Books When the Local Church Starts Teaching Them

"A free book club that will focus on critically acclaimed literature banned by the Fremont school board is scheduled to begin Wednesday night at an Irvington district church.
Since 2008, the five-member board has banned "Bastard Out of Carolina," a National Book Award nominee about a teenage girl sexually abused by her stepfather, and last year it rejected "Angels in America," a Pulitzer Prize-winning play about AIDS in the 1980s."

It may be time to rethink your schooling practices when the local churches start calling you too harsh.  Now, I can only say that from an area of the nation that had churches actively try to ban MTV when the local cable company started offering it, but still... When the church folk have to step up and tell over protective parents, "You don't have the right to decide what my child reads," it may be time to take a step back and rethink your community's belief structures.

Of course this may be a preventative measure.  If you ban one book, then all books are open to critisism, even the Bible.  And, dude, have you read that crazy shit?  Lakes of fire, killing of first born, one dude kills thousands of people with his ass jawbone or something and another guy sics some bears on kids because they heckle him.  That book is all kinds of messed up.  Not to mention all the wars it has inspired, but I'm getting off the topic.

You know you are too tough when the local "don't do that" building starts doing your job for you.

Church offering class on literature banned by Fremont school board - San Jose Mercury News

Top Ten Ways a Library Can Get a Movie Licence

"The Bradford County Library in West Burlington Township recently acquired a movie license, which is allowing it to start showing films to the public, the library's director said.
The library will be showing "family friendly" movies from its collection of DVDs, said Jeffrey Singer, library director.
As a condition of the license, the library must show the films free of charge, Singer said."

One can only wonder how the library obtained this licence (other than read the rest of the article, but who wants that responsibility?).  So here we go, the top 10 ways your library can force a movie company into letting you show their films:

10)  Offer them free books.
9)  Threaten them with violence.
8)  Threaten them with violins.
7)  Think of horrible, hacky puns and write a blog post about it.
6)  Two words: Book Ninjas.
5)  Use research skills to dig up dirt on their top executives.
4)  Just show the movies and cite free use until they buckle.
3)  Make your own movie and not let them see it.
2)  Gungam Style.
1)  Kidnap Liam Neeson.

Library acquires license to show movies - Towanda Daily Review

California Prison Libraries Get Monies

"The California State Library has awarded the Southern California Library Cooperative (SCLC) a grant for $371,000 to provide text books and recreational reading materials to California Prisons. These funds provided through the Library Services Training Act (LSTA), are being granted to support an important need - new materials and textbooks in prison libraries. The monies granted are being used to furnish textbooks to three California prisons. These include adult prisons San Quentin and Ironwood and juvenile prison, the Ventura Youth Correctional Facility. Recreational reading materials are being sent to all California prisons."

Remember that scene in Shawshank Redemption where the prisoner's are unpacking the books and that one guy calls "Dumas" "Dumb Ass?"  Me, too.  That was funny.  That's about all I got here.  Go prison education!  Now if we can only fund those prison football teams.

Also, how bad ass is it there's a prison called "Ironwood?"  That's Tolkien/Martin naming right there, buddy.

California State Library grant provides books for California prisons

Learn To Be a Zombie at the Cumberland County Library

"Melissa Lang, as the assistant youth services coordinator for the Cumberland County Library system, developed a program last year to teach teens how to apply their own zombie makeup in time for Halloween and the annual downtown Zombie Walk."

Well, well.  Two stories in one day featuring librarians exhibiting talents and bringing them into the library.  The first guy just sang, this lady creates frickin' zombies.  What's next?  Librarian Frankenstein, that's what.  Some book pusher out there dabbles in anatomy/physiology and is dreaming up a way to reanimate the dead so he can recreate that scene from Young Frankenstein where he and his abomination put on the Ritz.  Well, I got news for you, you depraved seeker of the secrets beyond life:  The community ain't gonna put up with that shit.  No, sir.  They are gonna show up at your library's front door with pitchforks and torches and they will not be there to burn books.  They gonna burn you and your hell spawn.  Think about that before you act.

I like how in my delusion Librarian Frankenstein reads this blog.

Cumberland County Library system offering zombie makeup workshop - Fayetteville Observer

Students Mapping a Pleasant Home

"Twelve students in a physical documentation class at the School of the Art Institute are finishing a job started 12 years ago to draw elements of the George Washington Maher-designed Pleasant Home in Oak Park for a historic survey in the Library of Congress."

This is not an ongoing project.  Apparently 12 years ago, the students that started the project did a subpar (e.g. sucky) job, so these kids are going back and playing cleanup.  I wonder who noticed?  What librarian in the LoC opened the drawer for these architectural representations probably done in crayon and said, "Well, this will not do..."

But back to the one's working on the project now.  How close are they watching these kids?  What if one of them went rogue?  Started drawing pentagrams into every stained glass window, signing "GWM Wuz Here" on random parts of the floor plan?  I would love if one of them tried to plant Da Vinci Code type riddles into the floor plans, things that spelled out "Drink more ovaltine" or some such.  That would be fun.

Pleasant Home to be added to Library of Congress historic survey - Chicago Tribune

Soon to be Queen-in-law Publishing Book

Pippa Middleton, sister of Kate Middleton of England, is set to publish a book on party planning or something called "Celebrate."  Here's something from that where she talks about her fame:

“One day I might be able to make sense of this. In the meantime I think it’s fair to say that it has its upside and its downside,” she writes in the book, according to an excerpt published by You Magazine. "I certainly have opportunities many can only dream of – but in most ways I’m a typical girl in her 20s trying to forge a career and represent herself in what can sometimes seem rather strange circumstances. I am by nature an optimist so I tend to concentrate on the advantages. One of the most attractive has been the chance to publish [this book] Celebrate.”

Strange circumstances?  Yeah, I guess.  Understatement much.  Hell, my own sister is getting married soon and I'm not getting a book deal out of it.  Of course, nobody says much at all about my posterior so there's at least that.

I am happy at least this book may have a modicum of use versus those of American royalty of The Jersey Shore or Paris Hilton, but man... I just... I wonder if the book tells what she got Kate as a wedding gift.  What do you get for that?  Do you think their bachlorette party was as annoying as those I once waited tables for?  Seriously, ladies, what the hell happens to you when you organize those things?  I'm off topic, but whatever.  Inquiring minds.

Pippa Middleton: Why am I famous? - Christian Science Monitor

You Can Still Take a Gun in Birmingham Libraries

"An effort on the part of the Baldwin Public Library to ban people from bringing guns into public library buildings is likely going nowhere.
At its July 16 meeting, the board voted to send a letter to state Sen. John Pappageorge and state Rep. Chuck Moss, asking them to consider a bill that would add libraries to the list of places that are exempt from the open carry law. That list currently includes banks, places of worship, courts, theaters, sports arenas, day care centers, hospitals and bars."

Way to keep up that Southern redneck stereotype, Alabama.

The fact that someone would even have to make a law banning firearms in the library scares the hell out of me.  What possible reason could you have for bringing a gun into the library?  I get that you have the right to bear arms, fine and good.  That's constitutional and whatever.  But people, leave your guns at home or at least in the gun rack of your pickup when you come to check out Junie B. Jones, okay?

Push for library gun ban misfires in Birmingham - Hometownlife.com

Serenade at the Library!

"Joel Caithamer... uses his music background to help promote the Kenton County Public Library. With several music CDs to his credit, as well as his regular television appearances, he says he’s promoting it a lot.
'I’ve been Children’s Services Coordinator at the William E. Durr Branch (in Independence) for over six years and I’ve really been enjoying visiting area schools with my guitar as part of our library outreach services,' he says. 'I perform and promote the library for hundreds of kids each month.'"

Singing librarian, huh?  Well, that must be a hoot and a half while you are trying to study.  I kid.  Actually this seems like a great way to promote library services while also getting to do what you love.  The closest I ever came to this was writing a murder mystery party and that was only awesome because I got to kill my old director.

I think more libraries should be like this.  Hell, let's ratchet it up a bit and take a note from our Mexican and Italian brothers.  Who would not want a roaming band of mariachi or violin players walking around the 'brary serenading young couples.  Maybe a girl handing out roses for a dollar.  This could be awesome. 

Librarian makes music for library - Cincinnati.com

Hello Nurse: Libraries as Out Patient Centers

"Daniel Lopez [library nurse] is Pima County's novel answer to a common issue in public libraries across the country - a growing number of patrons living without shelter, health insurance, medical care or computer access. They come to the library looking not only for resources, but also for safety and protection from the elements. The shaky economy and high unemployment have further fueled the need."

Lopez checks on diabetics feet, hands out condoms and other common ailments and services for the public at the library.

This is awesome.  Why has someone not thought of this before.  I am being completely serious.  The library is a place where people should come for help.  Our nation, our libraries have been clutching at different ways to stay relevant, to justify their existence and here you have.  Where did we go?  Coffee shops.  Book sales.  All dumb.

Why not have a free clinic in a library?  Why not provide for the body while you provide for the mind?  Genius, selfless, and pure.  This is a good idea that should continue.  Maybe all those Planned Parenting places that have been closed can have some office space.

Library nurses look after those in need - Arizona Daily Star

Mobile Public Library Budget Cuts Put the Brakes on Bookmobile

"A cut in operational hours and personnel handling the bookmobile are two possibilities from the recent cut in the Mobile Public Library's budget.
The latest cut came from the city's 2013 budget, which slashed its annual appropriation to the library by 1.1 percent from $6.6 million in 2012 to $6.5 million next year."

Somewhere in Alabama, a librarian is looking longingly at her driving gloves.  She thinks about pulling those little pieces of leather on one more time, taking out the bookmobile for one last hoorah before she is put down all together.  She looks out the window and sighs, thinking of all the little country children who would squeal in delight as she honked the horn coming around the corner.  The bookmobile librarian, the outreach of the most out reaching librarian, is no more.  Remember her.

Where do bookmobile librarians go when they are put out to pasture?  Is there a farm? 

Mobile Public Library looks at cutting hours, bookmobile amid budget cuts - al.com (blog)

Kelly Clarkson Haunted By Jane Austen? No, Probably Not.

"Kelly Clarkson has been banned from taking a $243,000 ring once owned by Jane Austen out of Britain after it was deemed a "national treasure"."

If I were her, I would touch my own boobs a lot.  But I am not (I am placing bets she does not have my concern for breast cancer), so I can only conjecture why she would want to take Jane Austen's ring.  My conclusion?

Kelly Clarkson is possessed by the spirit of Jane Austen.  Austen just wants her ring back, and the best way to do that would be through a random celebrity.  Thank goodness the Brits know enough about haunting to know if she gets that ring back, Austen will rise back to full power and stopped her ass cold.  Gettum, England.

It's Halloween, this is the time this kinda stuff happens.  Just watch "From Justin to Kelly," you will see how far this shit goes.

Also, if you click this link for the real article, she's wearing a Def Leopard shirt.  She tough.
Kelly Clarkson Banned From Taking Jane Austen Ring Out Of Britain - Starpulse.com

Los Angeles Public Library Can Now Use a Map Pun

Real estate agent Matthew Greenberg of Los Angeles has found dozens of old maps in a house about to b destroyed and has donated them to the Los Angeles Public Library.

"Stashed everywhere in the 948-square-foot tear-down were maps. Tens of thousands of maps. Fold-out street maps were stuffed in file cabinets, crammed into cardboard boxes, lined up on closet shelves and jammed into old dairy crates. Wall-size roll-up maps once familiar to schoolchildren were stacked in corners. Old globes were lined in rows atop bookshelves also filled with maps and atlases."

I thought the same thing: One Eyed Willy.  Right?  It has got to be in there somewhere.  Quick, somebody give the LA Public Library equivalent of Chunk the map under glass so we do not have to bother opening it.

But seriously, if there's not one treasure hunt waiting in that house, then someone's not doing their job.  Never say die.

Saved from Dumpster: Amazing map collection makes librarians tingle - Los Angeles Times

No Gay Guinea Pigs in Saint Louis County

"The Brentwood Public Library in Saint Louis County pulled a controversial book from the shelves after a local resident, James Vandervoort, complained about the content. The book, "Uncle Bobby's Wedding" by Sarah S. Brannen, is about 2-male guinea pigs who plan to get married and a story about family. The Brentwood Library, Director Vicki Woods, has yet to decide whether to permanently remove the book from the library's circulation."

Have we devolved this much as a people?  So we regulate our own species, sure, we are monsters that will not let two people who find happiness in this craptastical world proclaim that in a way our 'normal' society deams fit.  I get that.  People are people and, dammit, everyone should be in the same shoe box with their other matching shoe or nobody gets to walk around comfortable.

But do we have to put down the guinea pig?  I mean, one finally gets enough courage (and a book deal) to tell his story about his homoguineasexual relationship and rather than being seen as an outright miracle, one parent has to put this down.  Who are you to judge the gay guinea, Mr. Vandervoort?  Look at your name.  What have you done that equals breaking into another species publishing habits to tell your story?  Not live up to the name Vandervoort, I can tell you that.  Let the guinea pigs be happy.  At least some gay couples in this world should be, if we will not let the human ones do it.
Brentwood library pulls book after parent complained it promotes homosexuality - Examiner.com

Confirmed! Random House Allows Libraries to Own eBooks

Random House has confirmed that if a library purchases an Random House eBook, that library owns that ebook. Library Journal sat down with Skip Dye, Random House’s vice president of library and academic marketing and sales, and he confirmed the information:

“This is our business model: we sell copies of our ebooks to an approved list of library wholesalers, and those wholesalers are supposed to resell them to libraries. In our view, this purchase constitutes ownership of the book by the library. It is not a license.”

Well, poop on a duck if that is your thing, am I right? Good news that one book vendor is looking at digital items as actual things and not the scary, troll like creatures that can only come out for limited numbers of times then get locked back in their cages until the toll is paid again. I think I misunderstood how trolls work, but not ebooks, nope, them live under bridges and can only be seen under the light of a computer screen. I digress. Hooray?

Random House Says Libraries Own Their Ebooks | LJ Insider - Library Journal:

Random House Says Libraries Own Their Ebooks | LJ Insider Library Journal “We spend a lot of time discussing this with librarians, at conferences and elsewhere, and it's clear that there is still some confusion out there around whether libraries own their ebooks,” Dye said. “Random House's often repeated, and always ... and more »

School Has Audacity to Teach Responsibility

Freshman Dominique Stearns of Fort Meyers, FL was not allowed to attend Cypress Lake High School's homecoming dance because she had not returned all of her library books. Stearns mother voices her and her daughter's concern about the matter:

“She’s not being punished because she got into a fight or anything like that,” her mother Danielle Olmstead told Fox 4 News. “She’s getting punished because she had an overdue library book. For reading. It’s ridiculous."

What the hell, Florida?  This is the state that hosts cannibal joggers, voting issues and whatnot, you are not supposed to be teaching your children responsibility and education.  What's next?  Required reading?  Spelling bees?  If this continues you might just raise a generation of Floridians that think before they act and believe there are real consequences to action.  We can not have that!  The rest of the nation needs you to be the out of control little brother that makes us all think, "Well, at least we have jobs."  Think about how you are making the rest of us feel, Florida.  You just think about that.

Teen banned from school's homecoming dance for overdue library book - New York Daily News:

New York Daily News

Teen banned from school's homecoming dance for overdue library book New York Daily News The school banned Dominique Stearns, a freshman at Cypress Lake High School in Fort Meyers, Fla., from the dance after it discovered she had forgotten to return the murder mystery to the library. “She's not being punished because she got into a fight ... Florida high school freshman banned from homecoming because of overdue ...al.com (blog) Dominique Stearns, Florida High School Student, Banned From Homecoming ...Huffington Post Student Barred From Dance Due to Library BookYahoo! News (blog) all 7 news articles »

LA Library Cards to be Used to Catalog Citizens?

"Los Angeles City Council committee unanimously approved the proposal from Councilman Richard Alarcon. The ID card would include a resident’s photograph, full name, address, date of birth and details on height, weight, and hair and eye color. The card would not be a driver’s license and could not be used as an ID to board a plane. The card could also be a pre-paid debit card that allows residents to build credit."

Is this what it claims to be, a way to make library cards a bonafide ID or is it just a way to catalog and track unsuspecting citizens?  What is in store for the citizens of Los Angeles as their officials take a free service and make it a database of pictures and numbers?  We will investigate further and report on the next Banned Library Podcast.

Los Angeles' library cards could double as identification, debit cards - 89.3 KPCC (blog):

89.3 KPCC (blog)

Los Angeles' library cards could double as identification, debit cards 89.3 KPCC (blog) Undocumented residents living in the city of Los Angeles could soon have a library card that also acts as identification and a pre-paid debit card. A Los Angeles City Council committee unanimously approved the proposal from Councilman Richard Alarcon. LA libraries to expand hours thanks to voters' funding measureLos Angeles Times L.A. Public Libraries Restore Hours After Voters Rose Against Villaraigosa ...LA Weekly (blog) LA reviews library ID plans todayWhittier Daily News abc7.com -The Republic -Neon Tommy all 285 news articles »

Johnny Depp Doesn't Get to Be This Cool

"Publishing giant HarperCollins is partnering with Depp to create a book imprint, called Infinitum Nihil, which vows to be "authentic, outspoken, and visionary.""

Man, fuck this guy.  I mean, he's an acclaimed actor, probably rich, handsome (I don't care what you ladies say, dudes got a look), and now he gets to be cool with books?  What the hell?  At least Joss Whedon has the nerve to look and act like the nerd he is.  There's a line, people.  Cool kids with guitars over there, nerds and their book stuff over there.  Every once in a while we let a Snookie or basketball player in the game so we can all get a laugh, but that's it.  There's a line!

Johnny Depp to launch a book imprint - USA TODAY:

San Francisco Chronicle

Johnny Depp to launch a book imprint USA TODAY The actor is getting into the publishing business, and his first big title will focus on Bob Dylan. johnny depp book publisher. Johnny Depp appears at a book promotion event for Damien Echols's biography 'Life After Death.' (Photo: Amanda Schwab, AP) ... APNewsBreak: Johnny Depp starting publishing imprint, releasing Bob Dylan ...Washington Post Johnny Depp starting publishing imprint, releasing Bob Dylan, Woody Guthrie ...Vancouver Sun Johnny Depp Presents: BooksVulture all 264 news articles »

Stephen King To Be Banned in Rocklin?

"Rocklin High School is considering banning the story collection because of a passage in one of the stories, titled “Apt Pupil,” in which one of the main characters, Todd, rapes a woman. The school took the book off library shelves after a parent objected to the scene. A school committee discussed the complaint and ended by deciding to remove the book from circulation."

The best part of this story are the comments of Amanda Wong (wait for laugh) defending her right to read the book at the school board meeting where she was the only one who had read the book.  Yep, school board thinking about banning a book could not answer to a high school senior because she was above their reading level.  Also, Wong.S

California high school considers a ban on a Stephen King book - Christian Science Monitor:

Christian Science Monitor

California high school considers a ban on a Stephen King book Christian Science Monitor Three other books by King, “Carrie,” “Cujo” and “The Dead Zone,” made the list compiled by the American Library Association of the 100 books most frequently challenged in the U.S. from 1990 to 2000, though none of them made the cut for the list of most ... and more »

If These Books Could Talk, South Dakota Edition

"Visually impaired South Dakotans should soon have access to an expanded selection of local and regional titles in talking-book format.
The South Dakota State Library and the Siouxland Libraries in Sioux Falls recently opened a recording studio in Sioux Falls. Volunteers will produce books in digital format that will be available to South Dakotans who are unable to read standard print."

I applaud this decision.  Using the collective voice of a community to produce talking books, this is an interesting idea.  I just fear what would happen if some teenagers in my community took advantage of this, providing their unique commentary on the books they "read."

"Man, dude keeps saying this word, I'ma get angry." Sammy Felder, 15, reading Huckleberry Finn.

"Who cares about this whiny jerk?  When's the baseball coming?" Tim Melch, 16, reading Catcher in the Rye.

"OMG, Edward.  Team Edward. Team Edward." Mina Gooch, reading Twilight.

"Man, just eat the damn eggs." Ben Traeger, reading Green Eggs and Ham.

SD libraries expanding selection of talking books - KCAU:

SD libraries expanding selection of talking books KCAU Assitant State Librarian Colleen Kirby says the state's Braille and Talking Book Program now has more than 1,500 books that need to be recorded. She says the program depends on volunteers to narrate and prepare books for visually impaired people. and more »

Kafka Moves to Jerusalem, A Pirate Becomes a Ninja

"A Tel Aviv court has ruled that a collection of manuscripts written by Franz Kafka and Max Brod must be transferred to the Israeli National Library in Jerusalem."

I do not have anything really to say about this as long as the items are made available to the public.  I like it when a lawsuit comes together.  Let us now play a game of "What if?"

What if Franz Kafka and Max Brod wrote a big story about a pirate that woke up as a ninja.  The pirate could be named "Poach Roach," and thought ninjas were the lowest form of life form until he woke up as one.  His pirate family tried to justify his existence, but nothing could stop their prejudice against his new ninja ways.   Poor Poach found himself apart from the world, destitute and living on rooftops, a ninja's natural habitat.  Then he stepped on a cockroach and was cool with it.

Court: Kafka scripts to be moved to Israel library - WPEC:

Court: Kafka scripts to be moved to Israel library WPEC The National Library argued that Brod, Kafka's close friend, left the manuscripts to the National Library in his will. Kafka bequeathed his writings to Brod shortly before his own death from tuberculosis in 1924, instructing his friend to burn ... and more »

Amazon, Repent Thy Sins of the Digital Flesh!

"Owners of Amazon.com's Kindle e-readers will receive refunds on past e-book purchases and see e-book prices drop if a judge approves legal settlements with publishers accused of fixing prices, according to the Internet retailer.
Amazon told Kindle owners in emails on Saturday that they could receive a refund of between 30 cents and $1.32 for e-books they bought between April 2010 and May 2012. The books must have been published by three publishers who have agreed to settle a lawsuit that accused them of inflating e-book prices."

Look at who's fancy now, Mr. Download Book Thingie.  All up on your high digital horse, selling them ebooks and stuff.  Maybe now we can all get back to our lives, churning butter and whatnot now that the Man has been informed he can not just do what he pleases and go forth and plunder the gentle reader.  We can only hope these people learn from this and bow down in their overlords, subject to the will of the Server Host and become repentant of the crimes they have committed.  

I have no idea what I am talking about.

Amazon says Kindle users are entitled to e-book refunds - Chicago Tribune:

IBNLive

Amazon says Kindle users are entitled to e-book refunds Chicago Tribune CHICAGO (Reuters) - Owners of Amazon.com's Kindle e-readers will receive refunds on past e-book purchases and see e-book prices drop if a judge approves legal settlements with publishers accused of fixing prices, according to the Internet retailer. Kindle Users To Get Refunds And Lower Prices on E-Books After SettlementAll Things Digital E-book junkie? Amazon may have some money for youCNET You're About to Get Some Money Back on Your Kindle BooksGizmodo Mother Nature Network (blog) all 72 news articles »

Jackson Library Director Resigns, Not a Fit: Conspiracy?

"Former Library Director Bill Johnson resigned from his position, said Madison County Commissioner Jerry Bastin at the commission agenda review meeting Thursday.
Susan Hauer, LSSI managing director of eastern operations, said he resigned in late September because he was not a fit with the Jackson-Madison County Library.
“He decided that the situation there in Jackson and at the Jackson library, it wasn’t a fit for him and the library, so he decided to resign,” Hauer said. “... He decided that it wasn’t working as he had hoped it to.”"

Well, how do you do?  I do not know the specifics, but I think something is going on in Jackson.  Think about it, a library director resigns and it makes headlines?  I smell conspiracy.  Let's follow the evidence.

1)  He resigned because he said he did not "fit."  What also does not "fit?"  Oversized books.  They have special shelves and drawers for them.

2) What kinds of books are generally oversized?  Atlases.  And what do atlases concern?  Lines.

3)  Where do you see the most lines?  That's right, DisneyLand.  Something that also does not "fit" in Mississippi.

There you have it: The Jackson-Madison County Library System is planning on diverting funds from atlas maintenance to build DisneyLand in Mississippi.  All the evidence checks out.  We can only hope Former Director Bill Johnson gets this information to the right people.

Library director resigns from post - Jackson Sun:

Library director resigns from post Jackson Sun Former Library Director Bill Johnson resigned from his position, said Madison County Commissioner Jerry Bastin at the commission agenda review meeting Thursday. Susan Hauer, LSSI managing director of eastern operations, said he resigned in late ...

Free Library on the Bus

"Southern Door students on bus 51 have had their commute to and from school turned into another opportunity to learn with the installation of a box of books by their bus driver, Ted Chaudoir."

Man, times have changed.  Back in my day, bus drivers would tell you to sit down on those green plastic, seatbelt-less benches and be quiet.  Now, they are setting up little libraries for the kids to entertain themselves with.  What happens next?  Escalation, that's what.  Today it's books.  Tomorrow, television.  Soon, the little jerks are gonna be handed iDroidPads and in-bus movies.  Then, after the collapse of civilization the attention starved hooligans are going to rebel against their creators.  And who will they turn to?  The bus drivers, that's who.  The way to school will then be bathed in the blood of the innocent as the yellow death machine becomes a rolling thunder dome.  Pray for the children.

Books on the bus: Southern Door bus driver shares daughter's books with students - Green Bay Press Gazette:

Books on the bus: Southern Door bus driver shares daughter's books with students Green Bay Press Gazette “The fact that we are utilizing the peers and the peers mentor idea I think is probably the most …encouraging thing about (Books on the Bus),” said Missy Bousley, Southern Door Title 1 reading specialist. Over time Chaudoir's book collection has ... and more »

County VS City: Library Wars

"“Dysfunctional”, “horse crap” and “extortionist” — the war of words between Escambia County and the City of Pensacola over library funding escalated Thursday, with members of the Escambia County Commission firing the latest verbal salvos over not just the library but also public transit."

War over jurisdictional funding, how snippy you are.  This reminds me of a story my great-granddad used to tell of when he and the library suggested that the county provide support for the bookmobile program.  The Banned County claimed that those funds should come from what they already give the library.  The Bannville Board of Aldermen claimed that they "did not need the damn thing in the city, so maybe the county should pay the damn gas people for their illiterate yokel ass patrons."  My granddad was less pleased at these turns of phrases and made a deal with some of the moonshiners in the hollows to use the bookmobile to ferry booze into the speakeasies of the city in exchange for gas money.  It worked and everything was fine after that.

Library War Continues Between 'Dysfunctional' City And 'Extortionist' County - NorthEscambia.com:

NorthEscambia.com

Library War Continues Between 'Dysfunctional' City And 'Extortionist' County NorthEscambia.com “Dysfunctional”, “horse crap” and “extortionist” — the war of words between Escambia County and the City of Pensacola over library funding escalated Thursday, with members of the Escambia County Commission firing the latest verbal salvos over not just ... Escambia commissioners discuss leaving library systemPensacola News Journal all 8 news articles »

Hey Ladies, New Library Job Offer from Sultan

So this is not nearly as interesting a story as the headline lead you to believe, but I got pulled in by a respectable institution and you got pulled in by me. Who feels better? Ha! Sorry, here's what's up: Supreme Council Member and Ruler of Sharjah His Highness Dr Sheikh Sultan Bin Mohammed Al Qasimi, hereafter known as "Sultan Bin," was on a radio show thing and a lady librarian called in saying she could not get a job.  Sultan Bin said, "Well, hell.  Come on in."  And all female librarians out there that want a job can have one.  As for male librarians, they continue their quiet existence in the shadows, existing among you.  

Sultan orders job positions for female librarians - Gulf Today:

Sultan orders job positions for female librarians Gulf Today SHARJAH: Supreme Council Member and Ruler of Sharjah His Highness Dr Sheikh Sultan Bin Mohammed Al Qasimi has given instructions that female librarians be appointed after registering with the Sharjah Directorate of Human Resources in view of the ... and more »

Don't Be Stinky or Anything in Orange County

So being stinky is not always well regarded,  as two old guys found out in Bromley, London, and now the homeless population in Orange County, California know that too.  And a lot more.  City ordinances covering everything from smoking to sleeping pay out hefty fines for the population of 30,000 homeless in the area.

Wow, how about that, huh?  Anybody want to just go down there with a truck, round all the homeless up and take them out to the desert like elderly random indigenous people?  Oooo, or we could eat them, clearing up that whole hungry problem they seem to have, too.  Better yet, and this is just a modest proposal, let's get them to work on the space shuttle and send them to the f*$@ing moon.

Sorry for my language, but this kind of passive aggressive bureaucratic crap is annoying at best and bordering on civil rights issues at worst.  So you don't want homeless people in your town, fine, sure.  How about starting programs to get them homes, you jerks?  Seems starting altruistic programs would be better P.R. than creating some Demolition Man-esque dystopia where everyone needs to look good on television.

Law against smelling bad is among many Orange County ordinances targeting ... - San Jose Mercury News:

Law against smelling bad is among many Orange County ordinances targeting ... San Jose Mercury News The Newport Beach Public Library, nestled in a coastal city better known for its surfing and miles of wide beaches, recently updated a policy that says staff can evict someone for having poor hygiene or a strong aroma. The policy also bans lounging on ... and more »

GED Practice Test Not Promoted in New Jersey

In this economy, a library can not turn down a little publicity for a free service.  But that's what libraries in New Jersey are doing, yeah buddy.  The New Jersey State Library, to prepare for the coming online version of the GED test, have purchased a limited time online practice test program, but many public libraries in the state are not promoting its use even though it is free to them.

Look, I know that time is money, but how hard is it to print out a couple posters, put a link on the website, and tell your staff to take it to give them a little walking around knowledge?  Not in your demographic?  I do not care if you live in Beverly Hills, somebody needs a little education in your community.   I do not want to say the word "lazy" because I bet these folks work hard and have a lot on their plates, but this is a little silly.

Many Union County libraries decline to promote free online GED assistance ... - Independent Press - NJ.com:

Independent Press - NJ.com

Many Union County libraries decline to promote free online GED assistance ... Independent Press - NJ.com With three months remaining in a free, one-year-only program to prepare New Jersey residents for taking the GED exam, many Union County libraries are not promoting it. The New Jersey State Library purchased a subscription to GED Online last year before ...

Coupon Guy Gives Free Library Talk

"When it comes to saving a buck in Northeast Ohio, Joe "The Coupon Guy" Daugirdas' reputation precedes him. The Willoughby Hills resident typically saves 70 to 80 percent on groceries alone. Now the popular money saver returns to the Mentor Public Library for the free Extreme Couponing: Tips and Tricks program Tuesday evening in the James R. Garfield Room.

"'Extreme couponing is very popular right now, there is even a TV show on TLC devoted to it,' said Barbara Vendeville, the library's community outreach coordinator. 'We thought this program, with an expert, would be a great opportunity to help our patrons save money.'"

Mentor Public Library program features Coupon Guy and his saving tips - Plain Dealer

I understand that libraries want to get people in and saving money in this economy is a big topic for a draw, but if I want to hear coupon advice, I will no longer ignore the old lady in front of me talking to her log about what her debit PIN might be.  I mean, what is the deal with these people, am I right? 

Sorry, I just hacked up a joke.

Also... "Extreme Couponing?" We are devoid of topics, America.

And that was a Twin Peaks reference, not a poop joke.

Proctor and Gamble At the Library, Didn't They Used to Be Into Satanism?

"The Pittston Memorial Library’s Cosgrove Capital Campaign recently received a boost by way of a $5,000 grant from Procter & Gamble. P & G Paper Products Public Relations Manager Alex Fried presented the grant check which will be used for expansion of the library. The company also donated 10 desktop and laptop computers to the library."

Library gets boost from P & G - The Sunday Dispatch

Remember that rumor years ago that P & G was in league with the dark powers?  Oh how we forget, just because we got technology and people decided to do actual research rather than dwell on rumor.  (I'm looking at you, Christian boycotters of old.) 

Anyway, how would the devil invade society?  Donations of money and computers seem like a good start.  Look out Pittston Memorial, first there's the pretty gifts, then they want you to do a favor.  They will not know when, or where, but at some point they will come to you and ask you to discard a book in the dead at night. 

The devil sounds a lot like the godfather.

NC Libraries to Provide eBook Access

"North Carolina libraries, including Moore County Library, and NC LIVE have teamed up with San Francisco-based nonprofit Internet Archive on a project that gives library patrons free access to a large downloadable e-book collection.

The collaboration allows North Carolinians to check out and download more than 200,000 e-books published between 1923 and 1999 through Open Library, an e-book lending platform developed by Internet Archive."

Collaborative Project Provides Moore County Library Patrons With Access To ... - Southern Pines Pilot

Did anybody else know that ebooks have been around since 1923?  Go back up and read, I'll wait. 

You read that right, "200,000 ebooks published between 1923 and 1999."  Who knows what kinds of treasures are in that collection?  I can only imagine Hemingway and Fitzgerald sitting around Paris, Kindle in one hand, brain lubricant in the other, wondering how such marvels presented themselves.  Technology, am I right?

Doctor Who Noir Available as Ebook

For any of you folks out there who watched the last episode of Doctor Who, "The Angels Take Manhattan," and wanted to know just what else you were missing in the novel that sat passenger seat to the episode, rejoice!  The Melody Malone mystery short story has been printed as an ebook from the BBC available at Random House or wherever you get that kind of thing.  Sadly, the last page seems to be torn out.

How do you feel about add-ons, mixed media, if you will?  Me, I'm cool with it.  I like that you can enhance an universe with extra content.  I am just waiting on my full copy of the Hitchhiker's Guide.

The detective novel from last week's Doctor Who is now available as an ebook - io9

Library Does Not Understand Why Someone Would Steal Television

After their 42-inch television was stolen, Madison County Library employees cannot fathom why anyone would want to take the relic. 

Seriously, why would anyone bother to take such a bygone item of technology?  What's next, a rash of iPhone 4 thefts?  That television must date back to the middle of Obama's administration it is so old.  That television is so old (how old was it?) they could have watched the last episode of House on it.  Just wow, why would that happen?

Library 'baffled' by theft of 42-inch TV - Richmond Register

Friends Make Cookbook to Raise Funds, Library Recipe Puns

The Friends of the Kingston Public library are gathering recipes for a cookbook aimed to raise funds for the library.  That's most of the story.  I'm just telling you so I can come up with a bunch of library recipe names. 

MARC - Machine Readable Cheesecake
ILL - Interlibrary Lo Mein
Cata-cheese-log
Milk Shhhakes
Over Fondue
Biografree Range Chicken
Check Out Chicken with Roasted Dates
Hold List Halibut

Feel free to submit your own!

Friends of the Kingston Public Library prepares fundraising cookbook - Wicked Local

Porno Set In the Cornell Library

When Cornell students this weekend were doing some self-surfing, they noticed a particular video had a setting that seemed fairly familiar.  It seems over the summer break, a lovely blond young lady used the library to... um... have a little fun.  Know what I'm saying, wink, wink, nudge, nudge and all that. Or she was paid for the act, as several Internet dwellers feel they have located the woman in video as a model from a local town.  Anyway, the video was recently posted on the Cornell message board EzraHub and still appears to be working.  So I have heard.

On the subject of sex in public in general... Well, you are only young once, am I right?  Do stupid shit and learn.  And, apparently in this lady's case, get paid.  Just be careful and do not do anything in a way that will harm or hurt yourself or others.  That being said, I cannot condone this.  Academic library or not, this is a public space and if I were running the library, I would have to turn you in for indecent exposure.  So keep that in mind, the librarian is not on your side when it comes to hanky panky in the stacks, but we were all young once and did dumb shit.  The library forgives but the library does not forget.  And clean that shit up.

Colleges Still Good For Something: Cornell Library Serves as Setting for Porn ... - Gawker

Council Cuts Library Funding Despite Public Protest and Mayoral Veto

The Middletown Public Library has had its funding cut leaving the future of the library in question.   In a 7-1 vote to override the veto by the mayor, the city council voted to cut the library's $250,000 annual budget.  The library is expected to continue as a nonprofit entity.  Here's a random quote from the article:

"After a period of public comment, McNamara provided a rebuttal, saying the borough could not afford its previous $250,000 annual funding for the library because of a 2012 budget deficit.
“We’re not against the library, folks, but decisions have to be made and we don’t have time,” he said.
“We are here for the town and if we have to cut the budget and cut money so we don’t have another Harrisburg, we have to do it, and we were advised by professionals where we should do the cutting,” said Councilor Barbara Arnold, referencing recommendations by borough financial consultant Mark Morgan. “So we are doing what professionals told us to do.”

So basically, "we fucked up and you are going to have to pay with your children's and communities education."  One has to wonder what happened to this community that they need $250,000 right now rather than take cuts from other departments as a whole and, you know, act like a community that is in this together rather than acting like panicked twenty-year-olds deciding not to pay the Internet bill because they have a connection on their phone.  I hope the library can continue in this diminished capasity, but this may just be the death nail for this library.  Our thoughts are with the library and the community.

Council overrides mayor's veto, cuts library funding - Middletown Press and Journal