Library Vending Machine

Ah, man.  I wanted a Snickers but got a Grisham...

In Polk County, Flordia, patrons are using an old piece of tech in a new and boring way: library vending machines.  The vending machines despense books and DVDs to patrons who want the satisfaction of self-checkout and the promise of never interacting with humans.  I find this an encouraging endevour, sefishly because I too do not wish to enteract with other humans.  Also, I hear books read better when they have been dropped often. 

There is a downside to this, however.  As one more step to the global robotic apolcalypse, these machines represent an awarness that literature and film is disposable as a candy bar.  Soon, carnivals nation wide will be littered with the tattered remains of Steinbeck and Twain as we quickly comsume fattening fiction to otherwise sate our non-existant lives.  I do not wish to rant, but I feel these machines will trivialize the most important calamity in our great nation:  fast fiction addiction.  Quickly pumping fiction from a machine instead of walking into the stacks and searching is the first step in allowing libraries to be nothing more than a wasteland, a laundrymat of convience where knowledge is not earned, it is purchased.  Nature will reclaim the stacks, wild animals running free in the reference section until one lone hunter stands tall in the computer lab, searching over the hunched backs of his bretherin to find himself wanting.  Where will it end?

This gibberish has been brought to you by the Society for Homogeneous Instant Teaching.  If you would like to know more about S.H.I.T., contact us, if you can find us.

Photo and original article here via CNN

It's a Shelver, It's a Cataloger, No! It's Super Librarian!

Batgirl, the O.G. Super Librarian

 Ever wanted to be a super hero?  How about a librarian super hero?  Gale, a company within Cengage Learning, has announced the "Are You a Librarian Superhero Contest" to unmask library superheroes.  A nominated librarian will be announced at this year's ALA conference and be published in a comic.

My thoughts on this?  Do not do this librarian superheroes!  Giving up your identity is the first mistake in superherodom!  Captain America fought and died to protect your identities (not that it did much good) and let us not even talk about how much of a steaming crap heap Spider-man's life and comics became after unmasking.  Just ask yourself, WWBGD?  What would Barbara Gordon (Batgirl) Do?  That lady took a bullet and kept on going!  Surely you can do the same library super heroes!

Does anyone else think "Gale" sounds like a supervillian's name?  What other library-centric things sound "superheroey"?  What would your superhero librarian name be?  What would be your powers?  Discuss.

Original press release and contest info here
Image from here

Kindle 'All Up On" Paperbacks

Amazon recently reported that ebooks on their site are outselling paperback books as the most popular format.  I am going to go out on a limb here and say, "Duh."  When your heavily promoted, electronic book market sells more electronic media than print media, that should probably be par for the course.  That would like the elderly lady at a used bookstore putting out a press release saying that her print books are kicking the shit out of ebooks in sales.  While the popularity of ebooks is notable, saying that users who already prefer an electronic media for shopping also really like buying electronic materials is kinda like saying people who like going to the pet store also really like hugging puppies.  This is a given announcement meant to encourage more ebook and ereader sales and excite an already excitable media.  I also find it funny that Amazon sells the Nook.

Prison Library Work: Not What You Would Expect

I bet you can't read 50 books in a row!

According to this post on the blog "Innocent Flower", working as a librarian in a prison is not as different as you would think.  A prison librarian, Emily, writes about how the library is important to the inmates as a source of information, entertainment, and income (there are several working there).  Both this article and Avi Steinberg's Running the Books: The Adventures of an Accidental Prison Librarian are fascinating looks into this interesting librarian career choice.

This is normally the part of the post where I make some joke about the subject at hand, but I honestly think this is a stimulating look at our profession.  And I do not want released/escaped prisoners coming after me for "dissing" their favorite librarian.  Much love!

eBook News That's Fit to ePrint

3D is the new 2D.  Image from Copyblogger

 Amazon starting new service called Amazon Singles.  What is a single?  Think of that random dude you know who writes 20 page manifestos about how the world should be more like his favorite D&D campaign.  Now think of Kraft Singles.  Smoosh the two together and you get a processed yellow goo that might, might have a kernel of truth in it.

Google seems happy over ebook launch.  And why should they not be?  Ooooo, I am a giant software company that specializes in making people happy and stuff.  I can do anything with computer code.  Wwwwoooo.  Look at me program a double rainbow that farts leprechaun gold!

Yet another ebook Internet lending service.  Bookswim jumps on this months band wagon with a new service that rides the Kindle Lending service like a harpy from hell.  That's an unfair comparison, but hey, wasn't Danny Devito great as the penguin?

Top Ten Movies for Libraries Because That's How Many The Oscars Nominate Now 2011

This tiny gold man will up your circulation

That time of the year is upon us when a bunch of actors, directors, and movie making people tell us which movies are best at stuff in the whole wide world.  Because of this, lists are created and people pay attention to these lists and because librarians are supposed to be all "with it" and "groovy" with the "peeps," we have to pay attention to this crap, too.  

What follows is a list of movies that will be the most sought after because they are in the top 4 categories, Best Picture, Actor, Actress, and Director.  There are a host of other awards on the list, but I will only mention a couple when necessary either because the category has been split or because the only people who care about who gets the cinematography or screenplay awards already own the damn movies.  

So, here they are, the Top Ten Movies for Libraries Because That's How Many The Oscar's Nominate Now 2011, in no particular order:

 

Toy Story 3
Toy Story 3 is up for Best Moving Picture, Words on Paper, Animated Thingy, and Original Words to a Tune.  Let's face it folks, Pixar not only makes great movies as well as fodder for kids and adults.  Your patrons will not only love you, but they will tear these discs to pieces, so buy lots o' copies.

True Grit
True Grit is up for Best Moving Picture, Dude, Dudette in Background, Guy With Camera, and lots of others.  Yeah, this remake is not out yet on VHS, but you can stock up now on a couple of copies of the John Wayne version and the elderly folk will not know the difference.  Go to town pushing up your circ numbers!

King's Speech

King's Speech is up for Best Moving Picture, Dude, Dude in Background, Dudette in Background, Guy With Camera, and lots of others.  While I cannot recommend this one personally, as someone who once stuttered I am all about watching some guy who did learn not to and relive that tiny, dark closet where Speech Therapy class was.  Preorder today?

Social Network

Social Network is up for Best Moving Picture, Guy with Camera, Words on Paper, and others.  Again, I cannot say I have seen this one and therefore cannot recommend it, but the kids are all about the Facebook.  I could see the appeal, as two to three hours is about all the entertainment I can get out of Facebook.

127 Hours

127 Hours is up for Best Moving Picture, Dude, Words on Paper, Cut and Paste Movieing, and others.  See the movie even James Franco's grandma liked.  I am a bit of a wuss, but I may give this one a watch if it comes on the watching movie site thing I use on my game box / computer toy / phoney phone.  Get it for all your patrons who like hiking.

The Fighter

The Fighter is up for Best Moving Picture, Dude in Background, Dudette in Background X 2, Guy With Camera, and others.  This movie is for all those people in your library who like old Calvin Kline ads, Dark Knight, and cans of whoop-ass.  I have not seen this movie.

Inception

Inception is up for Best Moving Picture, Words on Paper, Guys with Lights, Guys with Instruments, and Guy with Photoshop.  This movie is for that guy who liked the Dark Knight and always comes in with another strange dream he just has to share.  Does he have friends?  Really, am I his friend?  That's sad...

Black Swan

Black Swan is up for Best Movie Picture, Dudette, Dude in Background, Guy with Camera, and others.  This movie is for all those patrons that really, really wanna see ballerinas suffer.  I cannot comment on the movie itself, but you know who the people who want to see it are.  Be warned.

Kids Are All Right

Kids Are All Right is up for Best Moving Picture, Dudette, and Words on Paper.  I have some idea about what this movie is about, but my mom really wants to see it sooooo..... Basically I really do not want to think about how I was conceived so I am skipping this one.  But the ladies will love it, I hear.

Winter's Bone

Winter's Bone is up for Best Moving Pictures, Dudette, Dude in Background and others.  If I wanted to watch a movie about a poor family in a bad way, I would look at your family albums.  Burrrrrnnnnnnn!  Kidding, I am sure you never had to beg for food.  

Honorable Mentions, AKA also got awards but were not good enough for best moving picture:

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows:  Like Toy Story 3, get lots of copies cause they are gonna get wrecked.  Broken, not drunk you frat boys.

Iron Man 2:  Is popular enough to already have 1,000 circulations.

Salt:  It has Angelina Jolie kicking ass.  

How to Train Your Dragon:  Not as good without the 3D, but the kids, man.  Do it for the kids.