MySpace Reaches Basement, Keeps on Digging

The social network MySpace has reportedly laid off over half its 450 member staff in preparation for sale to Specific Media.

Well, as the snake eats the lion, so goes the way of MySpace.  I absolutely do not know what that means.  I mean, my brain went "Think of something MySpace related" and immediately went to that guy who friended me that REALLY liked snakes and then somehow a lion became involved.  I worry about what all this social networkage is doing to my brain, folks.

WSJ via CNET

Google+ Becomes Google-

Will you be my friend?

The new social network service Google+ has been forced to shut down access to new members.  The service started up just a while ago with and "invite only" policy and quickly became overwhelmed with requests. 

I have just one question:  how come noone invited meeeee?  I'd totally be your friend and play Farmville with you and help you attack another mob and stuff.  I mean, Facespacester is just so yesterday.  My mom's on it, you guys.

But to be not so serious, how come this seems a little like a social experiment to me?  This is Google we are talking about here.  Are you telling me they do not have the resources to handle this kind of traffic?  I think they just did this to see how fast something online would spread.  They put the plague of social network out there just to see how fast it would spread, am I right?  I would not be shocked to learn they were working with the CDC on this to invent a cure for another blue social network that will not be getting a Facebook group.  [computerworld]

Life in the Swag, ALA 2011

Well, I just got back from the American Library Association's 2011 New Orleans Conference and boy is my drinking arm tired.  New Orleans welcomed the library community with open arms and the library community responded in kind.  So let us delve into this exciting and wondrous event that was ALA 2011.

Drinking
I know what the people want so let's just put it on front street, or "rue el fronto" as the locals say.  Seriously, there was so much partying, dancing, and goings-on that you would have thought a dentist hygienist convention was going on.  But that's the point of a convention in New Orleans.  Nothing too untoward was released to the public, so let's keep it that way.  It's not like there was a robot that got taken out for a night, right?

You don't want to know how he got those beads and hat.

Technology
Possibly the biggest complaint about the conference was the lack of wifi at the convention.  To be true, the annual conference from one of the most forward thinking professions lacking a basic function that our national parks system can handle is a little sad.  But that's accentuating the negative.  The conference also had these cool key cards that you could swipe at booths instead of passing out business cards.  Mine stopped working after a day.

It also doubled as a hotel keycard for then entire city!   I watched people sleep!

Panels
I can't speak for all the panels (pun intended) because I only went to a couple because I had and "Exhibit Only" badge which means I had to crash. Which, honestly, was not that hard. Come to think of it, they only ever checked my badge at the exhibit entrances. Huh. Anyway, the panels I did go to were all about good speak and forward thinking. One in particular was a library of the future one with Orson Scott Card, Bill Willingham, and other sci-fi writers although come to think of it they mostly talked about copyright and stuff. It was good. Thought about asking about how Card felt about the New York gay marriage decision, but I felt that might have derailed it a bit.

My favorite panel.  It was all fun.

Exhibits
Here we go into the meat and potatoes of the convention: The people who give us stuff!  The swag merchants were out in force from the automated book thingies to the chair folk right on down to the database mages.  Every corner of librarianship stuff was represented, and all of them had stuff to take.  Often you would have to sit through a 10 minute talk to get a t-shirt, but if you put your business card in a fishbowl you might win a Nook or something.  It was all very exciting.  Special mention to the guy who did magic and the people with the smoothies.  We may never know who you worked for.

Some set up faster than others.  This was at 6ish on Friday.

Swag
I saw at least 4 people getting their arms reattached in the first aid area from collecting books in bags and hanging them off their shoulders.  The swag collecting was intense and diverse.  But can we talk about one thing?  The Red "I am a librarian from out of town mug me and over charge me, please" Bags.  All you who were there know what I mean.

All tote bags should have fighter jets on them.

Food
Hellz yeah!  This is New Orleans, the center of Cajun cooking!  Crawdads, gumbo, benya... beinge... those awesome pastries with the powdered sugar!  And what did most people eat?  Food court food.  Seriously, the only place within walking distance of the convention center was the crap in the convention center itself.  We could not find a couple sponsors willing to put authentic local cuisine?  Whatever, I am sure most had the other major food group in New Orleans.  Alcohol.

This is half the line for fairly dry roast beef sandwiches.  Spot the Red Bags.

Underground
Secret parties.  Dancing and carrying on.  I really can not talk about it too much.  My call sign was Albatross.

We got dangerous.

People
Someone on twitter asked what our favorite moment of ALA 2011 was. I responded "Walking on the floor first and seeing a sea of inspired, wonderful librarians sharing and having fun." That's the truth.  With all the problems and jokes, I met so many people that were excited about our future.  Before this convention, the best I could say about the library's future in society is "I hope."  After this trip, that hope is invigorated. 

   

Jackson Square.  And my thumb.

6 Books You Should Totally Read Next Story Time

Summer reading has graced our presence once again.  As we reach the midway point, everyone is getting just a little bit tired, a little bit complacent with the whole ordeal.

So last year.

Kids are thinking, "Reading, woo hoo.  You mean if I read for six straight hours I can get one of those weird Chinese paper yo-yo's that break after a second?  Awesome."  Parents are thinking, "Can't you just make one more macaroni banana cozie so mama can farm her watermelons on Farmville?"  And librarians, well, we stopped thinking.  Autopilot has stuck in and we are all reflex, "Book there. Please stop run now.  Who want hear tale of cat and hat?"  The librarian brain also has a cool Russian accent.

I'll pause while you re-read that last bit and say, "Moose and squirrel," to get the accent right.

I say we spice up this whole affair with a couple of shocks to the system.  Something to get the parents saying, "You learned WHAT at the library!?"  You know, community service.  Hit the jump for the 6 Books You Should Totally Read Next Story Time.*

Summary

Yeah, this may be the least inspired choice due to its sudden popularity, but that's why we get it out of the way first.  In "Go the F(moon)k to Sleep," author Adam Mansbach tells his small child to slip into slumber land with rhyming vulgarity.  Hilarity ensues.

Why read this?  

This book does not talk down to children.  Hell, it talks right at them.  More books should give this message.  Other titles in the series could be grow with the children, including  "Money Does Not Belong in your A$$" "Stop Saying S@#t on the Internet" and "Don't F(moon)k the Neighborhood Boy In My House."

Summary

"Joined at Birth" is the life story of two children that... If you need the explanation then stop right here and go hit yourself over the head with a dictionary until your eyes bleed ink.

Why Read This?

This book totally teaches children that if there is a God (s)he is a sick mo-fo with way too much time on his hands.  It also illustrates that mankind will, when faced with diversity, stick our middle fingers into the heavens and live out our lives as long as we can.  Or as long as the antidepressants keep on truckin.

Summary

"It Hurts When I Poop!" is the thrilling story of a young man, a dinosaur with purple spots, and a raging hemorrhoid problem.  Together they learn six uses for Preparation H, why you should not brick up your bathroom, and how to love again.  I think.  The cover says it all.

Why read This?

Kids need to learn young that they are mortal.  My own father had the same type of conditioning toward me and my sister.  He called it "Poke Grandpa with a Stick."

Summary

"I Wish Daddy Didn't Drink So Much" is about a childish view of the effects of alcohol on an adult who worked all day to provide for his family and when he comes home from two jobs is so tired he falls asleep in the chair, beer in hand.

Why Read this?

Some children need to find out the hard way that alcohol is awesome, sometimes more awesome than they themselves may be.  I mean, I know like ten kids who were created by alcohol, but not one child that can brew me a keg.

Summary

"The House that Crack Built" is about a little Polynesian girl named Crack living in Chicago who inspires a community to build a house for her impoverished family by making everyone play "The Glad Game" in which they find the good in everything, even cocaine, naming the new substance "crack" after the awesomely happy little girl.  I think.  I stopped reading a while ago and am just going on pure instinct.  You go, you little minority Pollyanna!  Watch out for cars and stay happy!  Crack fo life!

why Read this?

Because anyone can build a house, but it takes a special little girl to build a house on drugs.  Kids need inspirational messages like that because drugs are cool and will get them accepted in college.  Start young, not smart.

Summary
FTW.  For.  The.  Win.  All the way.  The book is titled "The Big Book of Lesbian Horse Stories."  I do not care if this is for kids, it looks like it should be and that counts.  If you have the cajones to story time this bad boy, I bow to your librarian badassery.  Your book cart runneth over.

why read This?
Dude, LESBIAN HORSES!  I did not even know there were horse romance stories, much less homo... wait... is it still homosexual if it is a horse?  I guess so.  Eh, words.  Although "equusexual" sounds kinda... there is no real way to end that sentence without sounding weird.

It sounds nice.  There, now I am the weirdo for saying what we were all thinking.

Twitter me the word "#equusexual" if read all the way down to here.

*The author and website of this post assume you are not crazy and will not actually read any of these books at any event where children may be separated from their parents or a responsible adult.

Duke Nukem Never

3D Realms

Maybe the first of some random reviews for library video games:  Duke Nukem Forever.  It took nearly 15 years to come out.  Several developers.  Tons of lines of code.  One of the longest credits lists of anything ever, including WWII.

And this game...


Sucks.

A mature rated title that (if your library hosts video games) should not be bought by your library.  This is the equivalent of... This is hype meets bad.  If you get requests, just punch those patrons in the face.  This game is not worth it.  Story, characters, even graphics all belong five to even ten years in the past.  When you cannot get your game to meet current gen standards after years of development, when multitudes of clones of good games are doing so, just hire a firing squad.   I am not just down on the graphics, it is all bad.  Not one good, new idea in this whole mess.  Fifteen years ago, this game was a slap in the face of pop culture leading men, mocking and happily kicking Stallone and Swartzen... Swarfsf... Ahnold Govenator in the face.  Now... it is just sad.

Claim you do not have the budget.  Claim you do not have the shelf space.  Claim you think the whole thing's a propaganda machine for squirrels to invade the library.  Just do not buy this game for inclusion in a library.  The only reason to stock this game in a library is to be the library that ends up on the news for stocking this game.  If your library stocks this game, you should hand in your resignation for leading us all towards an Idiocracy. 

Just watch these reactions.  Sure, in the beginning we were all happy for the trailers and it started out a happy fun time.  Then it just got sad.

Buy 10 copies of L.A. Noire if you really want to bolster your library's video game street cred.  Noire is a solid example of where video games are headed.  Duke Nukem Forever is our adolescent past, pimply, lanky, and without any class whatsoever.

Britannica Goes eBook And I Don't Feel So Good Myself

Britannica has launched a service called Britannica Digital Learning that gives students and libraries access to ebooks from the Britannica Library.

"Each e-book contains the entire text of the print edition and illustrations - many of which are striking, high-definition and full-color. Tables of contents, indexes and glossaries are hyperlinked and fully searchable. [SFGate]"

I like the idea that Britannica is reaching out to kids and libraries, giving them knowledge and stuff all while saving them some dough, but does this sound like a PR stunt to anyone?  Sure, any free offer is a PR stunt or a tax write-off, but this just... I dunno.  The great encyclopedia peddler might be grasping as straws here so it does not follow its cousin, the Americana.  Of course, in a world where the first entry you get to a given Google search is Wikipedia and rarely do those online articles source Britannica, I would start getting desperate, too.

Lucky Number 7: Michael Connelly Sells 1 Million Ebooks

Author Michael Connelly has become the seventh writer to sell 1 million kindle ebooks on Amazon's kindle store. Connelly said in a press release:

 “As a storyteller it brings me particular fulfillment to know so many readers are receiving my work through the Kindle. Added to that, my name is now on a list of an amazing group of writers. I am very proud of this moment.”

 I always wanted to be 7th at something, too.  It is an acheviement to know that seven other people did something first.  I mean, just talk to all the people that place 7th in the Olympics or at the Kentucky Derby.  Those people are practically pooping themselves with the prospect of the... I dunno, what's the opposite of gold?  Dirt Medal?

Seriously, though, congratulations to Michael Connelly.  He is in a class of authors and best sellers that I could never even hope to aspire to, much less reach.  His writing is top notch and never fails to delight.    [Galleycat]

Will You Wii U?

Nintendo just announced their follow up to the popular Wii video game console, the Wii U, will be out in 2012.  The console sports the controller (above) with a touch screen in the middle that acts basically like a portable game system in your home.  All previous Wii peripherals will be backwards compatible.

Tell you the truth, there's a lot of functionality in that little controller but I can already see the future:  That thing sticking out of my TV because I couldn't finish off Bowser for the last time.  Not because it's all motion, that's those other wimpy plastic controllers.  This one will just piss me off like my old Gameboy used to.  

Also, what the hell is going on with Nintendo's naming department?  First, originally called the "Revolution," the "Wii" sounds like, well, if you have not read an internet joke based on that premise just google it.  But now we have the "Wii U."  What the hell does the "U" stand for?  "University"?  "Unified"? "Usual"? I know what it's gonna stand for if the product does not work "Pii U."  Like it stinks.  Get it?  Bet I am not the first to make that joke and the things only been outed for two hours.  It is that obvious.

[WSJ]

Update:  Ha, I knew I wasn't.

DC Goes Back to the Beginning

DC Comics has announced that they are starting over the numbered order on all their main superhero titles in September.  So, if you know a dumbass with some money you can sell Action Comics #1 all over again. 

DC also stated that beginning with the renumbering, the comics will also be allowed digitally the same day.  As my local comic book retailer said, "Fuck that."  Personally, I read comics for the following reasons: 1) I like the stories and heroes, 2) I like the art, 3) I like the obsessive collecting instinct, not necessarily in that order.  Digital comics may give the story, but the art never translates on a screen and clicking a mouse or touchscreen does not equal treasure hunting through multiple boxes.

Also, fun fact:  "DC" stands for "Detective Comics."  Every time I hear someone say DC Comics, even though that's the companies name, I snicker with the joy that only redundancy can bring.  [New York Times]

The Devil Speaks about New Book Deal

Glenn Beck, here-forthwith to be known as "The Devil," announced just a couple of days ago that he will be partnering with Simon and Schuster to publish more crap under their fiction/nonfiction print Mercury Ink.  Anybody else realize that mercury is poison and would probably not make the best ink?

I hope Simon and Schuster made a good deal with The Devil.  I could imagine him screwing them over.  Like with one of those weird bargains like wishing for immortality but then finding out you did not wish for youth so you grow all old and nasty forever.  Wait... I bet they wished for best-selling books.  That's why they sell this pulp feces. [CrainsNewYork]