New Facebook Privacy Controls, I Call'em 'Squares'

NYTimes

Facebook has rolled out some new features and cleaned up some old ones in the area of privacy.  Now featuring a drop down on posts, the website allows you to designate quickly who sees what you do.  As the New York Times reports, some of these abilities were available but difficult to manage.  The new drop down will feature settings such as "Public" for all to see, "Friends" for just those you are connected to, and "Custom" for when you want to leave some people out of the party.

Yay!  Now Grandma can stop asking me who Sanchez is and why he is "dirty."  The only problem will be getting all of the family (not just Grandma) to stop sending all the love and attention to public.  I am an adult, you guys, and familial love is gross and icky.

Also, I can start sending false updates to everyone.  I will always be at the library. *wink*

Library of Congress Parks It in New Hampshire

The Library of Congress has a new rolling exhibit that settled in Concord, NH in front of the state house.  The exhibit, entitled "Gateway to Knowledge," contains reproductions of the Declaration of Independence, the first appearances of Spider-Man, the Gutenberg Bible, and others.  The exhibit is currently on a 90 city tour and is free to the public.

Wow, that's quite a collection of fake artifacts.  I am sure Marvel is excited to have their comics sitting next to the Declaration of Independence like that.  Of course when I think historical documents, I go straight from Magna Carta to Superman, but that's just me.

Also, think about how jazzed Steve "The Gute" Gutenberg is that someone wrote a bible based on his storied career.

Boston Globe

Who the Hell thought a 9/11 Coloring Book Was a Good Idea?

Hey, remember when I looked into the future and foretold how money-hungry losers were gonna try to make a buck off 9/11?  Enter Really Big Coloring Books Inc. with We Shall Never Forget 9/11: The Kids’ Book of Freedom.
Here's what Stars and Stripes says is inside this pile of piled stuff:

The coloring book includes pages showing the smoking World Trade Center and mourning survivors. Page 19 depicts a Navy SEAL taking aim at Osama bin Laden, who is seen cowering behind a veiled woman as a bullet leaves the barrel of the SEAL’s rifle. Above the drawing is this message: “Children, the truth is, these terrorist acts were done by freedom-hating Islamic Muslim extremists. These crazy people hate the American way of life because we are FREE and our society is FREE.”

This sounds like something I would make up to scare my grandma into buying extra tickets for the school raffle.  I feel like a part of me just died.  The only comparison to my childhood would be Rocky IV ending communism with Rocky punching Drago's head off and peeing in the hole.

A coloring book should have Barney and colorful stuff in it, not hate-filled sadness.  This does not make me want to scream "America, Fuck Yeah!"  This makes me wanna cry a little for the sad bastards that made this.

Bastard Man Steals from Library and Sells Items Online

James F Jackson, alleged douchebag

A Glen Ellyn, IL man was charged with the theft of thousands of Lisle Public Library and other area library materials.  James F. Jackson took the books, DVDs and other items, often researching their value before selling them online.   No word on exactly how many materials he took.

Jackson was charged with theft over $300, theft of governmental property, and library theft.  I did not even know that last one was a real crime. "Library theft?"  I thought that was something douchbags, forgetful elderly, and stoned college students did.  Does that mean I can start threatening people with this?  "And if ya don't bring My Little Pony: The Movie back on time, I'm siccing Officer Roscoe on ya, little girl!"

Did ya ever thing you would read an article with a loser fat dude's picture and reference to the My Little Pony movie without feeling really sick inside?  You're welcome.

dailyherald

Jacksonville Article About Closing Libraries Is Friggin Hilarious

The Jacksonville, FL city council has recommended the city's libraries close on Mondays.  The closure would save nearly 2.1 million dollars, the council says.  The idea of closure is not a new one, as library systems across the nation have cut back services in an effort to save money.  Then the reporter from the News4Jax.com went out and got him some authoritative quotes:

"I don't think it's going to save that much money," said Rick Watts, who was playing a piano in front of the main library downtown Friday.
Library patrons like Julie Edwards, who uses the library for home-schooling her children, said she understands what the city is trying to do.  "It can kind of go both ways. We have all the other days," she said.

Sure, they quote council members and the mayor, but there is nothing like the every man perspective.  Especially when the every man is sitting outside the library playing a piano and an optimistic home-school lady who points out there are other days of the week.  

I now have an RSS feed for this news outlet just to see what other wacky hi-jinks they get themselves into.

Ireland Wants Cheaper Education Books

Minister for Education Ruairí Quinn is calling for a discount on Irish educational materials from publishers.  Quinn notes that since the schools order in bulk they should receive a little something extra in these hard economic times, don't ya know?

What, does this crazy Irish man think books grow on trees?  (Wait for laughter.)  Publishers can't just give students books like that.  That would turn them into educated adults who may pick up and read a book (or ebook) every once and a while, therefore continuing the publishing circle of life.  Hell, no, that's not the goal, sir!  We wanna raise them on the MTVs and the Internetz and the Youtubes and make them consumers of pop culture and Cheetos!  Whoo!  God Bless Cheetos!  And Ireland! Erin Go Braless!
Irish Times

Obsolete Technology News: It's a Week Old

Like I did in yesterday's book news, today I am playing catch up with a little tech news.  Here we go.

Fox, the TV station not the animal, delayed presenting its programming on Hulu for 8 days causing a massive spike in piracy of those shows.  Let it be known that if the nerds can not pay for their digital entertainment through affordable means, they will just take it.  Torrentfreak via boingboing (real sources, I swear)

When presenting their case that they were not ripping off the iPad with their Galaxy tablet, Samsung used the "it was in a movie" defense.  The movie in question "2001: A Space Odyssey" does indeed have tablet devices as well as a computer that freaking kills people!  WSJ via Geekologie

The Videogame History Museum is running a drive on Kickstarter to save/fund their project. The museum can be seen as an important item in the further expansion of humans to waste time dicking around without using their actual dicks.  Mostly.  Kickstarter via Kotaku.

Catching Up, Last Week's Book News: I Was Busy

So sue me, I missed out on a lot of news this week.  So here's the weekend wrapup, all the stuff I forgot to get to involving books and book related news!  Enjoy!

President Obama went on a vacation and bought some books.  Some made up bullshit controversy came up when he seemed to read a lot of male authors.  Holy shit, that bastard.  Let's forget that he seems to be promoting some literacy and not out on the ranch pretending to be the Marlboro Man and focus on a trival details like "taste," "preference" and "give the guy a break he's the president not the messiah." reuters

NASA has plans to publish a science fiction series.  Yup.  Guess that whole "space flight" thing was something they did as a day job while they came up with a kickass space marine idea. mnn

SF Gateway, one of the largest libraries of science fiction, is offering out of print scifi books as ebooks coming soon.  Guess what website NASA is waiting on? planetpdf

U.S. Venture donates school supplies and over 1,800 books to school children.  I don't have a joke here.  Sometimes big business marketing is not so bad.  prnewswire

New juvenile book "Maggie Goes on a Diet" shamed for being dangerous and against body type issues.  "Debbie Goes on a Run and Eats Healthy" deamed un-American.  "Frank Goes Outside" Book Burning to be held on Tuesday. desderetnews

New Jersey school district pulled a book about lesbians for "inappropriate language."  Cast of Jersey Shore responds, "That's a fuckin' disgrace.  I like lesbians and hope their language get a fair shake, ya know?" foxnews

"To Train Up a Child," a "Christian" book about raising your child through the "spare the rod, spoil the child method" and already associated with at least one child death, is being censored throughout the world.  I will not stand for book censorship, so let's just kill all the motherfuckers who beat or tell others to beat their children.  stuff.co.nz

The school board in Missouri that banned Slaughterhouse Five is pretending to take a look at the merits of the books because the nation is pissed off at them.  It is also no coincidence that Kevin Bacon was seen in the area encouraging children to dance.  chron.com

Detroit to Lose Libraries, Lions Next?

He'll check out your library...

Six of the 23 branches in the Detroit Public Library system may face closure after March layoff's leave the system stretched too far thin.  Detroit News reports:

"These are very difficult times," [executive director Jo Ann] Mondowney said. "We have not taken this lightly."
Mondowney said commissioners knew closures could be recommended once staffers analyzed the impact of layoffs. She said they stretched staffing to get through the summer reading programs.
"This is in response to the reduction in work force," Mondowney said. "We made it through the summer. We said we'd have to come back and adjust."

No shit.  Really?  "We fired a bunch of people and now we can't stay open.  Durrr.  Whoops, we thought we would open more branches with the money we would save on staffing.  Guess we made some fudge in our pants."  

It gets better, back in April they proposed closing up to 18 branches because someone messed up the math.  Yeah, bookkeeping and shit.  I assume these people have degrees in something and not just half partnerships in their brother's used car lot.  Hell, that would at least be something.  I would like to envision a world where library directors fire people and then fudge the books in an elaborate money scheme to set up used car lots.  Only in Detroit, am I right?  Hell, let's go all out and say it was all a plot to take down the Detroit Lions and move them to Cleveland in a goofy Major League sequel.  Charlie Sheen would be all over that.

Librarian on a Plane

An Austrian librarian on an Austrian Airlines flight from Washington to Vienna lunged at a flight attendant and had to be restrained by three people last weekend.   Harald Albrecht, the librarian in question, said he took a sleeping pill with some wine and does not remember the incident.

Albrecht was delusional and intoxicated when gardaí came on board, and when he sobered up the Austrian “was severely remorseful and embarrassed”, Garda O’Rourke said.
Albrecht was coming from a five-week internship at a New York library where he was studying the Holocaust and he has no previous convictions.
Reading out a written statement to court, Albrecht told Judge John O’Neill he would like to apologise to Austrian Airlines, the cabin crew and the passengers.
He took the tablet because he was afraid of flying over the ocean. -irishtimes.com

Well, ain't that a hell of a thing?  Think you are going on a relaxing trans-atlantic flight and some librarian freaks out and starts trashing the place.  It's like my mama always said, "If you are going to drink with pills, make sure you do it on dry land."  She's my angel.

New: eBook Soundtracks AKA "Foreign Films"

I read the whole thing!

Start up company Booktrack has created a way for ebooks to have soundtracks added to them as you read.  Here's a quote from the company's co-founder and CEO Paul Cameron:

"It's difficult to imagine a movie with no soundtrack. Yet, until today, the technology did not exist to synchronize music and sound within an e-book.  Tens of millions of commuters around the world listen to a playlist that's disconnected from what they're reading -- perhaps a sad song with an upbeat story. Now they can replicate a movie-like sound experience and fundamentally transform their reading experience."

So there you have it.  Books should be more like movies.  WTF?!  This technology and the ideas Mr. Cameron presents are the dumbest things I have ever heard.  Does he even know the difference?  Does he understand that music is an effective use of mood and tempo in movies but because people read at different speeds it can be f#%king annoying if the wrong background crap is going on while you try to read?  If I want to have the experience of "reading" with a soundtrack, I'll rent an un-dubbed foreign film.  If I want building chase music as I read my comics, I'll put that crap on my own damn self.

And I know what you are thinking: If you don't want it, turn it off.  Turn down the volume.  That's not the point.  The point is I should not have to be told when reading a book if the tone is happy, sad, scary, whatever.  That's the writer's job.  If a book sucks at conveying emotion so much that it needs a soundtrack, that book should be taken out and shot.

Although I guess it would help out Twilight a bunch.  I imagine a bunch of Benny Hill chase music and EVIL music when Bella speaks.  She is easily the greatest villain ever created.

Booktrack          SFGate

Houston Owes Millions and Somebody Stole the Roof from a London Library

In the last decade or so, the Houston, Texas library system reports that almost a quarter of a million books have either not been returned since 1999.  Let me type that another way: almost 250,000 books are just gone cause lazy jerks could not be bothered to swing by a book drop.  Add on another 100,000 items just missing and you come up with a whole lot of materials flittered away.  The best part: nobody reading this in the library community is surprised, except maybe the newbies.  I blame the kids and their rock music.  chron.com

Here's another story from across the pond (Atlantic Ocean) in British People Land:  someone stole the copper from the roof of a London library which allowed rain water to get in a trash the place.  When will people stop inviting rain water to parties?  Anyway, a temporary library has been set up to ensure that the regular thieves still have access to books and DVDs to steal. thisislocallondon

Google Going All Jungle View

Google is looking to expand its Street View project to major waterways and remote destinations.  The first on that list: The Amazon River!  Boom, there goes the dynamite.  Seriously, isn't that how they fish down there?  With dynamite?  Anyway... from BBC News:

Google will train local people to collect images, and will leave behind equipment so work continues long-term... Pictures will be stitched together so users can explore 360-degree panoramics of the area.

So, not only are they co-opting the river itself, but using the people there to do it.  I bet those folks don't get invited to the Googleplex for a 5-star meal.  Nope, just malaria and piranhas.  Good times.

BoingBoing via Fark via BBC News

Beer Drinking Conquer Badgers Are Returning Books Stolen by Zee Nazis

Did you know you can buy this on Amazon?

In my attempt to offend every country I can, here's this news story: the Berlin library is giving back the books stolen by looting Nazi's in WWII.    The plundered lootz include an 1883 English language copy of the Communist  Manifesto, possibly owned by Friedrich Engels, which is just funny as all hell.  If you don't get why, learn your history.

Washingtonpost

Don't Counter-Sue, Play Video Games!

Or use this to bash their heads in!

Notch, the developer of the Minecraft video game, was sued by Bethesda (makers of the Elder Scrolls games) for using the word "scrolls" as the title of his upcoming project.  Bethesda claims that Mojang (Notch's company), is trying to use a word that they use and this will somehow hurt them.  Or something.  As a librarian I should understand all the copyright mumbo jumbo, but it's all a bunch of bull hockey. What is better is the response Notch gave:

Remember that scene in Game of Thrones where Tyrion chose a trial by battle in the Eyrie? Well, let’s do that instead!I challenge Bethesda to a game of Quake 3. Three of our best warriors against three of your best warriors. We select one level, you select the other, we randomize the order. 20 minute matches, highest total frag count per team across both levels wins.
If we win, you drop the lawsuit.
If you win, we will change the name of Scrolls to something you’re fine with.
Regardless of the outcome, we could still have a small text somewhere saying our game is not related to your game series in any way, if you wish.
I am serious, by the way.  - Notch's Tumblr

Hell yeah! This is almost better than the idea Rocky IV had to settle all country disputes with boxing.  Almost as good.

Sherlock Holmes Banned In Virginia For Bashing Mormans

Last week the Albemarle County School Board voted to ban Sir Author Conan Doyle's "A Study in Scarlet" because they claim it contains derogatory comments about Mormanism.

Well boo-frickin-hoo.  One book makes a few comments about a random religion and you go all ban happy?  I can list you at least 100 books that were banned for better reasons than that.  These books take on whole races, creeds, ideas, and religions far more powerful than a folks who ride bikes, dress alike, and wake me up too early by knocking on my door to tell me they believe that a guy in the sky sent Jesus to hop the pond and talk to Indians.  I wonder why the logic loving Holmes wouldn't like them?

LATimes     DailyProgress

HarperCollins and Fox News Band Together to Create Ground Zero Book

You read that headline right, kids.  Fox News and HarperCollins have forged an unholy alliance to tug at your heartstrings by creating an "enhanced" ebook about the rebuilding of Ground Zero just in time for the 10 year anniversary of 9/11.  Titled "Rise of Freedom: The New World Trade Center," the ebook will contain text, photographs and video from Fox News anchor Shepard Smith.  [insert joke about how it will honor Bush and only be allowed to be checked out 26 times here]

I have a couple of problems with this gross exploitation that is being called an "enhanced ebook."  First, fuck anyone who tries to make money off a national tragedy this close to the anniversary.  All that information, epecially public broadcasts, should already be released for free or at least proceeds should go to a charity.  Second, the title is retarded.  "New World Trade Center" says that they are creating a new building to serve as a world trade center.  That just ain't true and taints the memory of the buildings.  Finally, this rebuilding is on-going.  To put the book up now, before completed just smacks of an incomplete venture that they will use to make more cash as they update later.

Does it matter that Fox News and HarperCollins are the figures in this story?  Outside of easy jokes, no.  This is a gross example of the exploitation we will see in the coming weeks.

huffingtonpost

5 Real Things I Want from Pottermore

Okay, so I joked about what I wanted from Pottermore, but then I started thinking.  This being a dangerous thing, I started talking to my coworkers about what they would like to see on One-Hit Rowling's little website.  As librarians, we think primary sources are a big deal.  Wiki's, websites and other stuff are only as good as their sources and with Rowling at the helm of this site a definitive Harry Potter resource could be created.  So many topics were discussed, but I narrowed them down to five categories of interest.

So, without further ado, here are the 5 Real Things I Want from Pottermore


1.  People & Creature Feature
I would like a comprehensive listing of all the people and creatures in the Potterverse along with illustrations.  This would be a big, wiki level feature, but it would be awesome to have an official listing of everything Potter across the world.  Maybe include magical places and things as a separate feature.

2.  Magic for Dummies
I need a full explanation about how magic in this universe works.  I don't want to learn how to do the magic (magic ain't real, people).  But I do want to know how it effects and counter-acts the natural forces in our universe.  Yeah, I am that anal.  For an example, look at how the Dresden Files did it.  Slowly and surely Jim Butcher, Dresden Files author, knocked out the how and why his main character could kick ass with magic.  Does "Expelliarmus" cause the hand to drop a wand, the wand to fly away from the user, or just a division of wand and hand?  This is again very wiki, but information from the Word of God is paramount as the varying descriptions from the above link show.  That's just one damn spell.

3.  Timeline of Events
Yeah, more wiki crap that I need clarified.  There are bunches of websites devoted to Potter timelines, but none of them have what Rowling has: the whole story.  See, this is her baby.  If she says Harry Potter dropped dead of a heart attack after dropping his kids off at the Hogwart's Express, then that's what happened.  If Hitler was an evil wizard in her WWII history, then by Granny Goodness his main goal was to
take down Durmstrang like Voldemort did Hogwarts.  I don't know, but I want to have the option to look it up.

4.  Story Time
I called Rowling "one-trick" before.  I apologize if that offended because Harry Potter is an amazing trick.  This is the "cutting your head off, setting your head on fire then finding your card in the middle of a snowstorm in a polar bear's mouth" kind of a trick.  What she did with the world of Harry Potter is awesome.  But if this is all she is ever going to focus on, give us more.  Short stories set in the past, present and future of the Potterverse would be well-received and welcome to flesh out this zoo of a creation.  This may sound like pandering, but I just do not want this writing talent to stagnate, I want her to keep writing as much if not more than I want more Harry and this seems like an excellent platform for short fiction.

5.  Easter Eggs
Dude, think of all the hidden stuff on this site.  Just the path to get there was nuts.  A 3D Hogwarts with movable stairs and hidden ghosts and stuff would be rad.  And tubular.  Far out in a totally groovy way, man. Sorry, had to make fun of myself for saying "rad."  Anyway, I want to log on and be able to find some truly weird, thought provoking and entertaining shit, just like the books were.

Is there anything you want out of Pottermore?  Let me know on the comments, on twitter @bannedlibrary or email evan@bannedlibrary.com

Things I Want Out of Pottermore

J. K. Rowling's website Pottermore has begun accepting willing souls to sacrifice... their time.  After a rather complicated Quill search thing, many people were allowed to register for the site early, including people that were not me.  Because I have been denied entrance to this hallowed land (and the theme park... Harry defeats Voldemort and he's a hero, I defeat him and I get tossed on my ass and arrested.  Don't mix your butter beer with tequilia), I will now speculate on what Pottermore contains.  Caution: It has been several years since I read the books and a month since I slept through the last movie.  Plus, I am trying to be sued by Rowling to gain national attention... There, I said it, I want the Banned Library reality show on the air as soon as possible.

Hit the jump for the things I want to see in Pottermore
1.  Hot Dumbledore on Gindlewald action
2.  American wizards from the 80s, did anyone have Miami Vice robes?
3.  Examples of actual hog warts
4.  Salem Witch Trials and Their Affects on Wizard Poetry
5.  At least one example of a Muggle who does not give a shit about magic
6.  Hogwarts Math, English, or hell, even PhysEd class
7.  A wizard kicking ass at a regular sport
8.  Some kink (everybody's all like "They're innocent children's books" where folks fuckin' DIE!  Let's get some magical hocus pocus, if you know what I mean.  I mean sex.)
9.  Magic vs. .45: I wanna know how well the Elder Wand is against a Colt.
10.  Harry Potter and the Convention Circuit

Give me your two cents: Comment below, tweet @bannedlibrary using the hashtag #pottermorewants or email evan@bannedlibrary.com to share yours!

This Week in Book News: I Don't Have Time to Write

Amar'e Stoudemire, captain of the New York Knicks, has plans to write children's books.  Yep, just like Michael Jordan turning to baseball, Stoudemire is moving from the high pressure world of basketball and into America's favorite past-time: thinking they have a good book idea.  Hell, I'm still trying to get "Banned Library and the Temple of the Monkey Ninja Farmers" off the ground. BET

Daniel McCracken, the guy who literally wrote the first bestselling "How to" computer book, died two weeks ago.  We give an homage to him with this post, as the news has come out much too late for anyone to do anything about whatever problem may or may not have been associated with his death.  Have you tried turning your McCracken off and turning him on again? TheBulletin

Richard North Patterson has released a revised ebook version of his book "The Devil's Light" in the wake of Osama Bin Ladin being killed with the alleged terrorist/bastard now dead.  This marks the first time a published novel has been re-written in ebook form to reflect global news.  This is why you never name anything after a living person, folks.  There is always the possibility they could disgrace themselves and/or die and then where are you?  NYTimes

Amazon is cracking down on people publishing crappy books.  I did not care enough to finish the article.  arstechnica

Google Buys Motorola Mobility, Does What It Does Every Night

For 12.5 Billion United States Dollars, Google has set forth plans to purchase Motorala Mobility.  With this purchase, Google will give itself weight in the cellphone wars by claiming over 17,000 patents as well as put forth a platform to design and implement a stronger line of phones.  Google representatives claim they will not run the company and keep it as a separate business. Wired

Yeah, I believe that.  Two years, in two little years we will all be buying Googarola phones and sticking them in our skin, marking ourselves for the beast before they condemn us to the information purge.  Or there's gonna be some kick-ass, cheap phones a'comin.  Allz I know is 2012 is around the corner and John Cusack has not been seen in weeks.