Thursday, September 30, 2010
How about some support?
Are you a library professional or paraprofessional? Do you need guidance, maybe a little help, or some laughs? Check out this site, Librarysupportstaff.com and get yo learn on.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Love in the Stacks: New Books And Fire
It was something they could not shelve. It was... Love in the Stacks
Today is new book day. Michelle has been partnered with Enrique to catalog the new items. The computer system has collapsed, causing Carlos to be distracted from his romance with Michelle, a fact that Carlita, the buxom library assistant II, knows only too well.
Enrique grunts as he picks up the large box full of the new Stevie Miller and the Wizard Mother Trucker books. He carries it over to Michelle, who is wrapping the books as Enrique handwrites each record.
“You can talk to me, you know,” Enrique said.
“You think I want to talk to you? You stinky pig! You beautiful bastard!” Michelle stamped each book as she finished a sentence, making Enrique wince.
“Michelle,” he said, “you do not have to take out your hate on the books. Be gentle.”
“To hell with these books,” Michelle said, “And to hell with you.”
Silence as she wiped a tear from her eye.
“Besides, Stevie Miller turns out to be the Shadow in the end, the whole series was a dream, and the talking monkey was his father.”
Enrique gasped, “Michelle! Tell me you did not look?”
“Yes, as I stamped them, I read them, dammit. I know how Stevie Miller dies! At least, in this book, anyway. He always comes back.”
Enrique stood, pacing up and down, “Michelle, this cannot be. This is horrible, you… you are a monster.”
“What the hell?! I just read some dumb book!” Michelle said, standing to face him in the face.
Enrique grasped her shoulders, holding her and looking deep into her greenish eyes, “You have broken the catalog code. You cannot be here. But I don’t want you to go.”
“Plus, if I left,” she said, leaning into him, her hands reaching up to hold his, “this job would take you forever.”
“Yes, well, I-
Just then the door flew open and Carlos entered.
“Enrique! I have fixed the system, turns out it was unplugged the whole - What the hell is going on here?” Carlos asked, his strong jaw jutting out.
“We,” Enrique said, pulling Michelle closer, “are cataloging each other.”
“Where the hell do you come up with this shit?” Michelle asked, slapping away Enrique’s hands.
Before Enrique could speak, Carlita came bursting into the room, “Carlos! Come quickly! There is a fire, hot and sweaty and burning for you.”
“I shall be there in a moment, Carlita!”
“But, sir,” she said, pushing the dark hair off her face, exposing her eyes, one sky blue and one dark green, “We need you to put out this fire with your manly manliness.”
Carlos looked between Carlita and Michelle. Enrique snorted and held up his hands.
“I can put out this fire, Michelle,” Enrique said, and he hurried past Carlita. Carlita stared after him and then followed.
Carlos turned to Michelle, “When I saw his hands on you, I could have killed him.”
“Well,” she said with a smirk playing on her lips, “I would have let you.”
Suddenly an alarm claxon began to sound and water began to pour from the sprinkler system. Carlos moved toward Michelle, arms open, but she moved toward the newly packed books.
“We must protect the books!” Michelle cried.
Carlos stared, enjoying the way the water caused Michelle’s hair to glisten and her pale skin to radiate. He grabbed the nearest box of books and with a grunt threw it under the nearest table. Michelle did the same.
“No room for us under there, I guess,” Carlos said.
Michelle hopped up onto the desk, her hands behind her and her back arched, “Plenty of room on top.”
Before Carlos could go to her, the door opened again and Carlita entered. The water had plastered her clothes to her body like a worn book jacket begging to be ripped off. No curve or line had been left to the imagination. Carlos’s jaw dropped.
“Enrique has caught fire,” Carlita said, running her hands through her midnight hair, pulling the water out even as more streamed down, “and I am all wet.”
She smiled at him as one would a piece of chocolate cake after a board meeting,
From behind Carlos, Michelle’s anger grew. She grabbed the closest heavy object, Stevie Miller and the Wizard Mother Trucker, and threw it at Carlos. It struck him in the head and he fell to the floor.
Carlita shrugged and joined Michelle as they walked out the door.
Is Carlos okay? Why do the girls keep walking out together? What happened with the fire? Is Enrique okay? How are they gonna clean up all that water? Where do I buy Stevie Miller books? Do these people ever meet any patrons?
Find out next time on Love in the Stacks
Blio: New Ebook reader I Just Tried Out
So I am cruising around my Internetz with the top down, and this little bird dropped a new ebook service called Blio on me. Pleasantly surprised, I loaded it up ran it through its paces. Here’s what I liked and disliked:
Liked:
Well, it is free. That’s cool. Eventually you will have to pay for books, but right off there are plenty of free items out there thanks to the Project Gutenberg. The presentation is beautiful. Take a look at this library shot:
Each book is well presented, easily accessible, and the searching is right there at the top. Much like every other reader service, Blio connects to a license store of tons of books and has a link that will lead you to free books that are available. When opened, each book is given a full two page spread, with transitions between pages and options for zoom. I really liked the transitions:
There’s something about a page turning that just makes me feel good.
Dislike:
There are only a few problems I found, and mostly they are the same as just about every ebook reader out there. First, I really hate when the “camera” moves around the page, showing me pieces of text and pictures. I can see how it would help kids, but only with an audio backing. The only successful use of this that I liked was the Marvel Comics app because comic books just lend themselves better to that type of reveals. Second, the performance of Blio is kinda chunky. I expect with better hardware in the coming years this reader will improve, but right now there seems to be a bit of a refresh problem.
Final:
A descent contender to amazon and itunes, but by no means a replacement. The audio content seems fresh, but rights usage may be a little tricky down the line, making me wary of outright letting known how good or bad it is. All in all, not a bad giving but nothing I am too excited over.
A descent contender to amazon and itunes, but by no means a replacement. The audio content seems fresh, but rights usage may be a little tricky down the line, making me wary of outright letting known how good or bad it is. All in all, not a bad giving but nothing I am too excited over.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Ask a Crazy Librarian: Gunslinger Law
Question: What is the Gunslinger Law?
Answer: The "Gunslinger Law" often refers to the law of "open carry." This means that you can walk around with your pistol in hand, showing everyone you mean business. The name comes from the way it was once used. A gunslinger often faced off against an aggressor in a time when everyone carried a gun. If you were known to carry a gun and somebody shot at you, you were darn well within your rights to shoot him back. "Open carry" came along when guns became unacceptable to just wear around in civilized society but folks still wanted to protect themselves.
Because you are showing everyone how manly you are, this law also means that you can shoot anyone provided you can prove he or she was going to do equal or worse harm to you. You openly displayed your gun, and the other guy had knowledge that you could shoot him if he tried something.
Another law simular to this is the "Castle Law," not to be confused with the "Firefly Law" that also stars Nathan Fillion.
Built off "a man's home is his castle," anyone in your house who you do not want in your house is able to become a piece of modern art by way of shotgun. Texas is an extreme example of this. You can have a gun anywhere in your house and if someone comes in, boom. No questions. Less formal states claim that you have to show that the person meant you harm and was on your property without your permission, so no shooting the maid because she wanted to vacuum at 3am.
Other states, like Mississippi, extend the "Castle Law" to vehicles as well. So if someone threatens you in your car, or more likely your pickup, you can pull a gun from under the seat and see how many holes a human body really needs. If you get stopped and the gun in your car is legal, the police can take it for a while just to see how legal it is, but with the right papers you can have Ole Bessie back and ready to take out car-jackers before it is time to go clubbing. Oh, and they can take you, too, if you do not tell them about it. This is why gun racks are popular. They are a simple way to say, "That's just what I decided to show you."
References:
Handgun Laws
Answer: The "Gunslinger Law" often refers to the law of "open carry." This means that you can walk around with your pistol in hand, showing everyone you mean business. The name comes from the way it was once used. A gunslinger often faced off against an aggressor in a time when everyone carried a gun. If you were known to carry a gun and somebody shot at you, you were darn well within your rights to shoot him back. "Open carry" came along when guns became unacceptable to just wear around in civilized society but folks still wanted to protect themselves.
You are darn tootin this guy knows the meaning of "open carry"
Because you are showing everyone how manly you are, this law also means that you can shoot anyone provided you can prove he or she was going to do equal or worse harm to you. You openly displayed your gun, and the other guy had knowledge that you could shoot him if he tried something.
She was reaching for the gun in the basket, Officer, I swear!
This is also the reason a lot of public places have policies up saying no firearms. Every version of this law is different, especially about when and where you can display your weapon and how and when you can shoot someone. A lot of states, counties and cities have this law still on the books, so schools and libraries have to say you can not have guns on their property. When you see this policy and wonder who would do that, look around you. Chances are, you see someone who would and who is legally able to do so.
"I ever tell you about the time I shot some dude?"
As I said before, open carry is different in different places. Almost every level of government has in it the ability for a public citizen to gain a "concealed carry" licence, which means you can have a gun hidden away on you. The "open carry," though, is a bit of a grey area. Some read it as you have to tell someone you have a gun; others say it has to be in hand. Even a holster can be counted as concealed.
Shooting someone while "open" is also a bit in the grey. Most say if the other guy has a gun and you have a gun, and they were gonna shoot you, blammo, self defense, no worries. Still there are those cases that spring up like an episode of Law & Order where a dude shoots someone cause the defendant said the ventilated guy had a gun. They may not get off scott free unless they can prove the guy exercising with daisies wanted them dead. Cases where someone was shot in the back can also get complicated. Because you scared off the bad guy with your openly carried gun, you do not get to shoot him as he runs away. The courts often think the maniac running from a gun is no longer a threat. Ruins a Thrusday night.
Another law simular to this is the "Castle Law," not to be confused with the "Firefly Law" that also stars Nathan Fillion.
Who wants to bet there's a gun under that scarf?
Built off "a man's home is his castle," anyone in your house who you do not want in your house is able to become a piece of modern art by way of shotgun. Texas is an extreme example of this. You can have a gun anywhere in your house and if someone comes in, boom. No questions. Less formal states claim that you have to show that the person meant you harm and was on your property without your permission, so no shooting the maid because she wanted to vacuum at 3am.
Other states, like Mississippi, extend the "Castle Law" to vehicles as well. So if someone threatens you in your car, or more likely your pickup, you can pull a gun from under the seat and see how many holes a human body really needs. If you get stopped and the gun in your car is legal, the police can take it for a while just to see how legal it is, but with the right papers you can have Ole Bessie back and ready to take out car-jackers before it is time to go clubbing. Oh, and they can take you, too, if you do not tell them about it. This is why gun racks are popular. They are a simple way to say, "That's just what I decided to show you."
References:
Handgun Laws
This Ain't Funny
After two unrelated acts of violence were perpetrated in libraries over the last two days, I am close to giving up hope for our public. Sure, I sit in the back of the class and throw out the occasional remark, but I have hope for this country and us as a species. Until things like this happen. The first is the UT shooting in the campus library in Austin this morning. The second is the police shooting of a fleeing suspect who just happened to run inside a public library.
This hurts me. From an early age I was taught to respect the library as a place of freedom and knowledge. Going into the library was similar to going into church: you were to be quiet, respectful, and attempt to learn something. Part of this blog and twitter is me finding humor in the disrespect I and others show of this great system, but make no mistake, I wholeheartedly back the public library system and libraries as a whole. Often flawed, as most human endeavors are, the idea of the free public library makes this world better. When that image is tainted by blood and violence, I find this world that much darker.
My sympathies go out to all those affected by these horrible tragedies.
Texas University shooting
Philadelphia police officer shoots knife-wielding robbery suspect in Olney library
This hurts me. From an early age I was taught to respect the library as a place of freedom and knowledge. Going into the library was similar to going into church: you were to be quiet, respectful, and attempt to learn something. Part of this blog and twitter is me finding humor in the disrespect I and others show of this great system, but make no mistake, I wholeheartedly back the public library system and libraries as a whole. Often flawed, as most human endeavors are, the idea of the free public library makes this world better. When that image is tainted by blood and violence, I find this world that much darker.
My sympathies go out to all those affected by these horrible tragedies.
Texas University shooting
Philadelphia police officer shoots knife-wielding robbery suspect in Olney library
Monday, September 27, 2010
The 5 Easy Foods Every Librarian Should Know How to Make
We have all heard about librarian's wearing random hats. Teacher, babysitter, accountant, policeman, fireman, cthulhu, the list goes on. The one most seem to overlook is cook. I am not talking gourmet restaurant style chef, I mean basic "Hey, there's gonna be food at my random event, please come!" After-school snacks, book clubs, board meetings, and the occasional Friends of the Library meeting all have one thing in common: a healthy amount of free foods. For a while, I am betting most of us have been getting along with delivery pizza and cokes next to a bowl of ice, but budgets are not what they once were.
Beyond the jump are five easy to make cheap things that will please just about everybody:
1. Drinks
The most basic food you can serve at your little library hoot'n-nanny is the drinks. There is a reason they are called "refreshments." They give the person something to sip on while pretending to be interested.
The most basic of these is coffee. Most of the world drinks this hot beverage. It is great for early morning, afternoon, or late night. I am not going to include a recipe here (maybe in a future post) because no one cares what your coffee tastes like. As one of the largest consumed foods in the world, people expect bad coffee wherever it is offered. Coffee is the society's episodes of Law & Order; good or bad, people expect it to be there when they flip through the channels. Just remember to have both caffeinated and decaf and if someone asks for a something-chino, put on your kung fu hat.
Lemonade and punch are almost the same thing. A cool, tangy refreshment that is plentiful and may flow from some ice thing with fruit on it. Easy and crowd pleasing, here's my recipe for great lemonade base if you have the time:
There's no real scale to this (this makes a quart and a half of strong lemonade, but quarts and gallons can be substituted for cups, just keep an eye on the final size. Keep the ratios right depending on your need.)
4 cups lemon juice (I like to fresh squeeze a bag of lemons and keep it refrigerated, the acid lets it keep a long time. Strain it before you use it if that's your thing, but I kind of like some pulp in mine.)
6 cups of water (4 cold and 2 for boiling)
4 cups of sugar
Mix the lemon juice and 2 pints cold water. Boil 2 cups water and add the sugar slowly until fully mixed with the boiling water. Combine the cold and hot, stirring with a wooden spoon. This is a strong base lemonade, so you will want to add more water to dilute if necessary. This base can be refrigerated and will last a while. For the more prepared in the bunch, make ice cubes out of the lemonade and serve with the drinks. If this is not an official function, a shot (2 fl. oz.) of whiskey per glass (16 fl. oz.) with crushed ice can liven up any party.
2. Salad
How do you please everybody? Salad. The weight conscious and the non-carnivorous dig in, the rest of us just pile as much meat, cheese and fat on them to make us forget they are sorta healthy. Salad can be for the appetizer or for the main course. For the main course, I would go buffet style. The secret to putting out a good salad is in the fixins. Put lots of options out for people to make their own. Lets face it, salad is cheap and you can feed an army with just a head of lettuce and a bottle of ranch.
For a base salad, you can either buy a mix or do the following:
Tear up a head of lettuce, discarding the inner most and outer most layers. You can eat the whole thing if you are feeling fun, but the leafy, healthy green just looks better. Spinach leaves seem all the rage lately instead of lettuce, so knock yourself out if you have a couple of extra bucks. Next, shave out some carrots in a bowl. Some people go for the baby carrot option, but that just looks like too much for a salad. However, if the food is going to be out for a while (say around 2+ hrs), go for the babies. Pick a couple more vegetables like cucumbers, peppers, whatever. Some tomatoes, diced or cut in fourths. Turkey, ham and chicken are cheap and can be cubed and put to the side for the meat eaters in the group. Everybody has their favorite type of dressing, but the most popular are ranch, thousand island, Italian, balsamic vinaigrette and Russian, so have a bottle of each on hand. If someone mentions honey dijon or blue cheese or something else they might like next time, make a note that that person is "whiny." We buy for budgets, freeloaders. If you would like to make your own dressing, it is really not that hard. Most are based on mayonnaise or vinaigrette. Recipes can be found online.
3. Chicken-a-la-thing, or How I Learned to Love the Yardbird
As I mentioned above, chicken is cheap. Like mayonnaise and cream of mushroom, it can be the base for just about anything. From soufflés to fried, the chicken is king. A bag of boneless breasts can be found at the supermarket for under $10 and feed a board room easily. Just a note, baking is generally the quickest, easiest, and less volatile way to prepare yardbird, especially in a non-kitchen setting like a library. See The Great Grease Fire of 2003 for reference.
There are so many recipes for chicken out there, there is no way to list them all here. If you feel like having some kitchen fun, try random things on chicken in casseroles. For my taste, I recommend soaking the chicken breasts in Italian dressing as a marinade before baking or grilling, if you plan on serving it whole. Here's a cheap casserole recipe that can be easily scaled to fit any function.
Need:
6 boneless chicken breasts
1 can cream of mushroom
1 can cream of celery
1 cup of sour cream
1 stick of butter
1 sleeve of Ritz crackers
Bake the chicken and cut it into cubes. Mix in an 8x8 baking pan with the cream of mushroom and celery and sour cream. Melt the stick of butter (1 min in microwave should do it) and crush the crackers into it. Spread the butter cracker mix over the ingredients. Preheat oven for 350 degrees and bake for about 20 minutes. I like to serve it with saffron rice and green beans, but that's up to you. Serves about 5 with a full meal.
4. Mini-whatever
What do you do if you just need a quick appetizer? What if the chicken burns, the salad is rotten and the lemonade blows up? It is time to get serious. It is time to break out the mini-stuff. Mini-quiche, mini-wieners, mini-pizzas, mini-cordogs, mini-fits-on-a-pan-in-the-oven-and-cooks-in-10-minutes, whatever, these can be your lifeline. Cubed cheese is another classic that belongs in this family, along with the veggie tray. Keep some bags of this crap on hand just cause they are so easy and everybody will eat them. Me, I like my food a little good, so I go with the tried and true: pigs in a blanket. Here's the easy way to make them:
Need:
Some cocktail wienies
Tube of that pre-made croissant dough
Open the dough and instead of rolling it up as croissants, cut it up and roll it around the individual wienies. Cook as described on whatever dough you bought. Watch them as they cook, checking every few minutes as the juices in the wienies may cause them to explode. I call it the Jason Voorhees when that happens. Cause, you know, he killed people in blankets sometimes.
5. Popcorn
A staple food of library break rooms everywhere, popcorn is the ultimate cheap food that nearly everyone eats.
Note: I will not be talking about chocolate.
1. Drinks
The most basic food you can serve at your little library hoot'n-nanny is the drinks. There is a reason they are called "refreshments." They give the person something to sip on while pretending to be interested.
The most basic of these is coffee. Most of the world drinks this hot beverage. It is great for early morning, afternoon, or late night. I am not going to include a recipe here (maybe in a future post) because no one cares what your coffee tastes like. As one of the largest consumed foods in the world, people expect bad coffee wherever it is offered. Coffee is the society's episodes of Law & Order; good or bad, people expect it to be there when they flip through the channels. Just remember to have both caffeinated and decaf and if someone asks for a something-chino, put on your kung fu hat.
This is my coffee bean, there are many like it, but this one is mine.
There's no real scale to this (this makes a quart and a half of strong lemonade, but quarts and gallons can be substituted for cups, just keep an eye on the final size. Keep the ratios right depending on your need.)
4 cups lemon juice (I like to fresh squeeze a bag of lemons and keep it refrigerated, the acid lets it keep a long time. Strain it before you use it if that's your thing, but I kind of like some pulp in mine.)
6 cups of water (4 cold and 2 for boiling)
4 cups of sugar
Mix the lemon juice and 2 pints cold water. Boil 2 cups water and add the sugar slowly until fully mixed with the boiling water. Combine the cold and hot, stirring with a wooden spoon. This is a strong base lemonade, so you will want to add more water to dilute if necessary. This base can be refrigerated and will last a while. For the more prepared in the bunch, make ice cubes out of the lemonade and serve with the drinks. If this is not an official function, a shot (2 fl. oz.) of whiskey per glass (16 fl. oz.) with crushed ice can liven up any party.
Lemonade: Yeah, I can add booze to that.
2. Salad
How do you please everybody? Salad. The weight conscious and the non-carnivorous dig in, the rest of us just pile as much meat, cheese and fat on them to make us forget they are sorta healthy. Salad can be for the appetizer or for the main course. For the main course, I would go buffet style. The secret to putting out a good salad is in the fixins. Put lots of options out for people to make their own. Lets face it, salad is cheap and you can feed an army with just a head of lettuce and a bottle of ranch.
For a base salad, you can either buy a mix or do the following:
Tear up a head of lettuce, discarding the inner most and outer most layers. You can eat the whole thing if you are feeling fun, but the leafy, healthy green just looks better. Spinach leaves seem all the rage lately instead of lettuce, so knock yourself out if you have a couple of extra bucks. Next, shave out some carrots in a bowl. Some people go for the baby carrot option, but that just looks like too much for a salad. However, if the food is going to be out for a while (say around 2+ hrs), go for the babies. Pick a couple more vegetables like cucumbers, peppers, whatever. Some tomatoes, diced or cut in fourths. Turkey, ham and chicken are cheap and can be cubed and put to the side for the meat eaters in the group. Everybody has their favorite type of dressing, but the most popular are ranch, thousand island, Italian, balsamic vinaigrette and Russian, so have a bottle of each on hand. If someone mentions honey dijon or blue cheese or something else they might like next time, make a note that that person is "whiny." We buy for budgets, freeloaders. If you would like to make your own dressing, it is really not that hard. Most are based on mayonnaise or vinaigrette. Recipes can be found online.
3. Chicken-a-la-thing, or How I Learned to Love the Yardbird
As I mentioned above, chicken is cheap. Like mayonnaise and cream of mushroom, it can be the base for just about anything. From soufflés to fried, the chicken is king. A bag of boneless breasts can be found at the supermarket for under $10 and feed a board room easily. Just a note, baking is generally the quickest, easiest, and less volatile way to prepare yardbird, especially in a non-kitchen setting like a library. See The Great Grease Fire of 2003 for reference.
I thought we weren't gonna talk about The Fire?
Need:
6 boneless chicken breasts
1 can cream of mushroom
1 can cream of celery
1 cup of sour cream
1 stick of butter
1 sleeve of Ritz crackers
Bake the chicken and cut it into cubes. Mix in an 8x8 baking pan with the cream of mushroom and celery and sour cream. Melt the stick of butter (1 min in microwave should do it) and crush the crackers into it. Spread the butter cracker mix over the ingredients. Preheat oven for 350 degrees and bake for about 20 minutes. I like to serve it with saffron rice and green beans, but that's up to you. Serves about 5 with a full meal.
4. Mini-whatever
What do you do if you just need a quick appetizer? What if the chicken burns, the salad is rotten and the lemonade blows up? It is time to get serious. It is time to break out the mini-stuff. Mini-quiche, mini-wieners, mini-pizzas, mini-cordogs, mini-fits-on-a-pan-in-the-oven-and-cooks-in-10-minutes, whatever, these can be your lifeline. Cubed cheese is another classic that belongs in this family, along with the veggie tray. Keep some bags of this crap on hand just cause they are so easy and everybody will eat them. Me, I like my food a little good, so I go with the tried and true: pigs in a blanket. Here's the easy way to make them:
Need:
Some cocktail wienies
Tube of that pre-made croissant dough
Open the dough and instead of rolling it up as croissants, cut it up and roll it around the individual wienies. Cook as described on whatever dough you bought. Watch them as they cook, checking every few minutes as the juices in the wienies may cause them to explode. I call it the Jason Voorhees when that happens. Cause, you know, he killed people in blankets sometimes.
Let's bake.
A staple food of library break rooms everywhere, popcorn is the ultimate cheap food that nearly everyone eats.
I'm easy. Yeah, you know you want it.
Here's some tips for making and presenting popcorn to the masses:
- Have some sea salt around. It is good on popcorn.
- Buy some of those carnival bags. They are cheap and festive.
- If there is a little wiggle room in the budget or the Friends have not gifted in a while, get an actual popcorn maker. The popcorn is much less likely to burn, especially if you get one of those air poppers.
- If you go for the microwave bag, stop when the popping begins to slow. Yeah, I know, there are kernels in there, but a few dozen kernels are easier to weed out than burnt popcorn. Especially the smell. Your break room with thank you.
- If you buy one of those tins and serve it to the public, you are no longer my friend. The reason that stuff is covered in butter flakes, caramel lacquer and cheese dust is that it is bland and borderline stale. Shame.
- Have toothpicks on hand for after. That is just nice business.
So that's my suggestions on quick and easy food in a library. Tune in next week when I discuss Stir Fry Crazy: The Wok in a Library.
British Library Posts Really Old Stuff!
In a surprise move, The British Library announced that they took old stuff, scanned it, and put it online for free. The old stuff, know to the gentle world as "manuscipts" can date back as old as 500 CE (Common Era for my fellow heathens) and as new as 1900 CE (still Common Era, braniac, lay off the pot). Check it out, the scans really are impressive.
See the old stuff here!
Ironically, there are no good pictures on the British Library's site where they post the manuscripts, so here's a kitty in a tie.
See the old stuff here!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Linkageddon 2: The Banning
In a day where Internet filtering is mandatory to secure government funding, it is almost quaint to hear when someone decides to ban a book. Really? A book? Who sees these as threats anymore? When half our youth can barely string together a sentence in an email without L33T speak filtering down, I love that people still see books as dangerous commodities. I love that the book, the best form of technology we have ever created, is still a monster of ideas and change.
John Ciardi said, "The public library is the most dangerous place in town." Indeed, sir.
Check out below the jump for a mess o' articles on banned books.
Friday, September 24, 2010
What Did I Learn in Library School? Reference Interview
So it is Friday again, which means it is time for me to reflect back on what I learned in library school. I try to think of all the excersises and worksheets and papers, and pull out the scraps of information that have actually helped or hindered me in my career. Today's fun topic is the Reference Interview.
What is a Reference Interview?
A reference interview is defined by ODLIS as "the interpersonal communication that occurs between a reference librarian and a library user to determine the person's specific information need(s), which may turn out to be different than the reference question as initially posed." I define it as "a magical mystery tour of the imagination by a librarian wherein he/she pulls information out of the patron's ass until they leave." Potato, Potato. As I may have stated in the past, the patrons hate us. Bunches. Whether they are simply trying to confuse your mind or just wipe that smile off your face, the reference interview is your only defense.
References:
A Library Science Dictionary
Where to find drinkin' books at NYPL
What is a Reference Interview?
A reference interview is defined by ODLIS as "the interpersonal communication that occurs between a reference librarian and a library user to determine the person's specific information need(s), which may turn out to be different than the reference question as initially posed." I define it as "a magical mystery tour of the imagination by a librarian wherein he/she pulls information out of the patron's ass until they leave." Potato, Potato. As I may have stated in the past, the patrons hate us. Bunches. Whether they are simply trying to confuse your mind or just wipe that smile off your face, the reference interview is your only defense.
"Why do you keep smiling like that! I hate your happiness!"
Who can use the Reference Interview?
Now, you may be asking yourself, who can use this mystical art? Through proper training, anyone can be taught the basics of RI, but only a few have the true talent. In the library, it is known as "The Way." The Way is a set of skills and talents that causes others to become pacified, their questions answered, and their day brightened. Each library has one talented in "The Way." He or she is called into most difficult scenarios where the patron has become livid. After a few quick moments, the practitioner has gleaned the information from the patron and set them on the right path.
The Basics
Not all of us know "The Way." Therefore we must be taught the basics of the reference interview. The most common mistake new librarians make is assuming. When you assume, you make an ass out of you, not the patron cause he/she knows exactly what he/she came to the library for and you are hindering the situation. Ask questions, even if it is the most basic type of information available. The patron will start the questioning, but you must finish it. Treat it as a game to see who is the better human. The first person to make a statement loses. The best questions start with "Do you need..." Consider the following example:
Patron: Do you have information about screwdrivers?
Librarian: Do you need a history, how to use them, or how to make them?
P: Why would I need to know the history?
L: Do you need to know the history?
P: No, I just wanna make the drink!
L: Ha! Yahtzee! 641.874! Do you need me to read it to you, punk!
As you can see, the "Do you need" method is surprisingly effective as long as you do not let it derail you. Here is a bad version of the same example:
Patron: Do you have information about screwdrivers?
Librarian: Do you need to get drunk or just directions to the nearest wussy bar?
P: What!?
L: Do you need me to show you how to mix one up? Come into my office!
P: I just wanted to know the best brand of phillips heads!
L: Not today, Nancy! You and me are gettin crunk!
As you can see, the librarian in example 2 allowed his personal feelings to get in the way of a proper reference interview. It did not help that earlier in the day he lost his goldfish in a brutal custody battle with his crazy, hair dressing EX-girlfriend who honestly would not know how to feed a goldfish if the damn thing ate the shattered dreams of the men in her wake. But I digress.
Really that is all you need to know to get you started. After that, it only takes a couple of years to fake that happy, shiny person that the public for some reason wants to see and loathe. Never let them see the truth. They can not handle your hate. They will hate you, so I say let them. And help them, cause you are getting paid on their dime.
A Library Science Dictionary
Where to find drinkin' books at NYPL
Hit the Road, Jack: See the Ray Charles Memorial Library
The Ray Charles Memorial Library opened today, his 80th birthday, in Los Angeles. Personally, I would have liked to see it in Georgia, but what do I know?
The whole story from NPR
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Ask a Crazy Librarian: Goofy
Question: What kind of animal is Goofy?
References:
Disney Archive Bio- Lists his first appearances and compares him to Pluto, who is definitely a dog.
Goofy on Wikipedia... Mmmm... Sacrilicious
Have a question for the Crazy Librarian? Email bannedlibrary@gmail.com
Answer: This is a question for the ages. Many a man has scoured the Internet ever since Gordie Lachance posed the question in Stand By Me in 1986. The path to this answer is many-fold.
1.) We must first look at Goofy Goof (his real name) in appearance. Sure, he drives a car, wears pants, speaks and laughs and has hopes and dreams. This must make him a man. According to my ex-wife, however, this does not make anyone a man. Especially if he cries at movies like Stand By Me. The erect posture and somewhat intelligent demeanor only make him humanoid, a sniveling wreck of a thing being capable of mediocre tasks but not proficient in the art of happiness.
The presence of a snout and floppy ears seem to indicate something, but only because they reach out to be noticed. Like a man who waters the flowers every day, hoping to create light in a dark world, only to have some bitch run them over with her car after a night at the bar with her "friends" Manuel and Chuck. Yeah, Goofy wants to be a man, all right, but certain features keep him less.
2.) Next, we look into his past. In his first appearance, Goofy was known as Dippy Dawg. Spelling aside, this name conveys much. The painful heartache his family must have inflicted upon him to name him "Dippy" is horrendous. Even if this was a nickname, given to him by his "friends" Manuel and Chuck, after a night out with his wife they should have cared more. Only a subhuman monster would allow such a moniker.
3.) The sounds he makes. Are they human? That laugh. Feel the pain as he "enjoys" himself night after night, alone, yuk yuking but deeply hollow. Soulless. Murderous. That cry. "Ya-ha-ha-hoo-ee" indeed, sir.
4.) His social circle. Between a mouse, a duck, and a Goofy, who is always the best friend? Who is always kind, forgiving, innocent of the world around him and the horrible, horrible ex-wives that beat the soul out of a creature? Who always has time to, say, help an ex-wife move out of his own house on his day off with his "best friends" Manuel and Chuck, who disappeared into the new bedroom as I set up the my own stereo system in a new house? Who goes and picks up the pizza when they take a break? Who? I'll tell you who!
A DOG! That's right, a damn dog. Enjoy a clip of this dog struggling.
References:
Disney Archive Bio- Lists his first appearances and compares him to Pluto, who is definitely a dog.
Goofy on Wikipedia... Mmmm... Sacrilicious
Have a question for the Crazy Librarian? Email bannedlibrary@gmail.com
We Weed with a Blowtorch!
The library at Colorado State University is planning on weeding roughly 25 percent of its 2.5 million collection. I have been at libraries that did collection removal in the thousands, but cracking that million mark must feel awesome! It must be like when Jaws hit $100 million. Of course, other libraries are sure to try and follow suit. Next thing you know we will have panels at ComicCon and CGI dinosaurs running about the Rockies.
Here's the full article, and no they are not throwing them away or selling them, ya cheapskates.
Here's the full article, and no they are not throwing them away or selling them, ya cheapskates.
Shouting for a Library!
Apparently the Chicago area really likes their buildings to become useful.
"A group of Chicago parents and community members have staged a round-the-clock sit-in at a field house adjacent to Whittier Elementary School in Pilsen, demanding that the dilapidated building be turned into a school library." -- School Library Journal (Link to full article)
Leading with chants that "[They] want a library" I have to wonder if they know what they are getting into. Do they know that if their plans succeed, this will be the last time they are able to shout in that area? Can they handle that?
Either way, I applaud them. Not many people sit down and shout for what they believe in. Doubly so when that cause is libraries. Bravo, Chicago!
"A group of Chicago parents and community members have staged a round-the-clock sit-in at a field house adjacent to Whittier Elementary School in Pilsen, demanding that the dilapidated building be turned into a school library." -- School Library Journal (Link to full article)
Leading with chants that "[They] want a library" I have to wonder if they know what they are getting into. Do they know that if their plans succeed, this will be the last time they are able to shout in that area? Can they handle that?
Either way, I applaud them. Not many people sit down and shout for what they believe in. Doubly so when that cause is libraries. Bravo, Chicago!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Computer Repair Guide: Malware
Some of you out there are wondering, what is malware and HOW ARE YOU READING MY MIND!? First, malware (from the root word "ware" meaning "stuff" and "mal" meaning "crusty Internetz") is a basic part of living life online. No matter who you are and what you do online, you will encounter it, often without even knowing that you are. After the jump, I will give you the basics of what malware is and how you can protect yourself from it.
What is malware?
Okay, can everyone be seated? Good, good. Okay, "malware" is basically any type of software that you do not wish to have on your computer. There are three basic types: adware, spyware, and viruses. Adware often comes from advertisements, or what the Phoneticians called "ads." They clog up your system by causing pop-ups and other annoying information on the screen. Spyware is legal yet sometimes malicious code that identifies the user by collecting data, etc. for various purposes. Viruses are what you get from opening those emails your mom forwards you. Just kidding. You can get them from anyone. Of the three, viruses can be the most debilitating, however all have the potential to slow down the performance of your machine.
How do I get malware?
Malware is all over the internet. Adware and Spyware are contained in a variety of sources, from those flashing adds promising you $100 for your used tissues to a pop-up of (insert famous actor/actress) doing coke off a bulldog. The most common misconception is that you have to click on these flashing happy do-dads to get the malware. Nuh-uh. By going to the page itself, you have already participated and exposed yourself. Again, once in a while is okay, but for an active surfer with little protection, it is like shaking hands with every person you see in a day. By the end of the day grime and crust will cause even Teflon to stick to your hand. Viruses are the particular nasty end of the spectrum, like the flu or children.
Is there a way to never get malware?
Never go online. It is the only way to never get any type of malware. Seriously. Become the Internet bubble boy.
How do I protect myself?
The easiest way is prevention. Know the websites you go to, like name brands. "Beer" brand beer made in the back of a pickup truck might be awesome, but you know where Budweiser came from. Do not open any emails you do not recognize. If for some reason it looks like your computer illiterate dad suddenly learned to type in ASCII, might not wanna open that one. If you have any doubt that the attachment called "hot lovin" is not your grandmother's prize chili recipe, do not open it.
I think I have malware. What now?
DOOM! HORRIBLE DOOM!
Except, no. If there's one great and tragic thing about the human experience, it is that you are probably not the first person to have this happen to you. Honestly, google it. Anything. Somebody else did or experienced or imagined it first. Six billion and change, folks, more than half have access to the Internet. That's a whole lot of experience to draw from. In fact, many companies have made businesses off of it.
It really all goes back to prevention. Running scans of your computer is easy and there are many free programs that allow you to do so. Here's a list of several free ones. Select multiple or all of them and take a weekend or night or so and free your computer from the stress.
Adaware
Spybot
Malwarebytes
Most computers come with six months or so of antivirus software. They are good, but here's some free ones that are just as good after that first six months:
AVG
Avast! (great protection, but when it detects something, you will know it. Like fog horn know.)
Best not to use more than one antivirus program at a time, they generally stay active at all times and more than one can slow your computer as much as the malware they are trying to prevent.
Oh, and that second thing? I HAVE SUPERPOWERS FOR YOUR MIND HOLE, DUDE!
What is malware?
Okay, can everyone be seated? Good, good. Okay, "malware" is basically any type of software that you do not wish to have on your computer. There are three basic types: adware, spyware, and viruses. Adware often comes from advertisements, or what the Phoneticians called "ads." They clog up your system by causing pop-ups and other annoying information on the screen. Spyware is legal yet sometimes malicious code that identifies the user by collecting data, etc. for various purposes. Viruses are what you get from opening those emails your mom forwards you. Just kidding. You can get them from anyone. Of the three, viruses can be the most debilitating, however all have the potential to slow down the performance of your machine.
How do I get malware?
Malware is all over the internet. Adware and Spyware are contained in a variety of sources, from those flashing adds promising you $100 for your used tissues to a pop-up of (insert famous actor/actress) doing coke off a bulldog. The most common misconception is that you have to click on these flashing happy do-dads to get the malware. Nuh-uh. By going to the page itself, you have already participated and exposed yourself. Again, once in a while is okay, but for an active surfer with little protection, it is like shaking hands with every person you see in a day. By the end of the day grime and crust will cause even Teflon to stick to your hand. Viruses are the particular nasty end of the spectrum, like the flu or children.
Is there a way to never get malware?
Never go online. It is the only way to never get any type of malware. Seriously. Become the Internet bubble boy.
How do I protect myself?
The easiest way is prevention. Know the websites you go to, like name brands. "Beer" brand beer made in the back of a pickup truck might be awesome, but you know where Budweiser came from. Do not open any emails you do not recognize. If for some reason it looks like your computer illiterate dad suddenly learned to type in ASCII, might not wanna open that one. If you have any doubt that the attachment called "hot lovin" is not your grandmother's prize chili recipe, do not open it.
I think I have malware. What now?
DOOM! HORRIBLE DOOM!
Except, no. If there's one great and tragic thing about the human experience, it is that you are probably not the first person to have this happen to you. Honestly, google it. Anything. Somebody else did or experienced or imagined it first. Six billion and change, folks, more than half have access to the Internet. That's a whole lot of experience to draw from. In fact, many companies have made businesses off of it.
It really all goes back to prevention. Running scans of your computer is easy and there are many free programs that allow you to do so. Here's a list of several free ones. Select multiple or all of them and take a weekend or night or so and free your computer from the stress.
Adaware
Spybot
Malwarebytes
Most computers come with six months or so of antivirus software. They are good, but here's some free ones that are just as good after that first six months:
AVG
Avast! (great protection, but when it detects something, you will know it. Like fog horn know.)
Best not to use more than one antivirus program at a time, they generally stay active at all times and more than one can slow your computer as much as the malware they are trying to prevent.
Oh, and that second thing? I HAVE SUPERPOWERS FOR YOUR MIND HOLE, DUDE!
The Big Book Sale Begins!
For those of you in the San Francisco area or those who really like book sales, The Big Book Sale Begins! I do not know why I like typing that so much.
Apparently people really like book sales. Who knew?
This library is a tomb... No really
So, here's the story: Peoria, IL wanted to expand their library, so they started digging. Turns out, the place used to be an old cemetery, chock full of bodies, like 80+ bodies. I should have saved this one for Halloween, but hey, I am nothing if not current. Here's the short, but full, story.
The real question is why this was such a surprise. When I go digging in my yard, I have to consult with the usual gas and power folks. Was there not a cemetery guy? Because of my intense raised-by-TV upbringing, I also consult a short woman with the voice of a child. I ask all the important questions. Is my garden shed gonna be haunted by the ghosts of Native Americans? Will my weed whacker attempt to take my children into other, grass-less dimensions? Can I fit my riding lawn mower and my push mower in here, or will I have to brace the push mower on the wall? Hellish questions from the bowels of my mind.
The real question is why this was such a surprise. When I go digging in my yard, I have to consult with the usual gas and power folks. Was there not a cemetery guy? Because of my intense raised-by-TV upbringing, I also consult a short woman with the voice of a child. I ask all the important questions. Is my garden shed gonna be haunted by the ghosts of Native Americans? Will my weed whacker attempt to take my children into other, grass-less dimensions? Can I fit my riding lawn mower and my push mower in here, or will I have to brace the push mower on the wall? Hellish questions from the bowels of my mind.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Love in the Stacks: The Coffee Break
Carlos and Michelle danced around each other for months. Everyone knew they would get together, it was only a matter of time. It was something they could not shelve. It was... Love in the Stacks
In this book-spine-tingling segment, we introduce you to Carlos and Michelle, two librarians who share a forbidden love. Standing in the way is Enrique, Michelle's past flame and cataloger, and Carlita, the buxom library assistant II that is vying for Carlos's affections. As we begin our tale, Carlos and Michelle enter the break room and meet at the coffee machine...
"Hi, Carlos," Michelle said, as their eyes locked, their gaze holding as one would hold a favorite but very worn paperback.
"Hello," Carlos said, picking up the pot of hot coffee, "Coffee?"
"Oh, Carlos," she said, her hand flying to her chest, "Yes, yes, I would love some!"
"Where is your cup, my dear?" Carlos asked.
Michelle looked around, puzzled. She had set it in the dishwasher only yesterday.
The break room door suddenly flew open, slamming into the wall and knocking pins out of the bulletin board. Enrique strode into the room, his pants just a little too tight to cover the bulge of the item stamp in his pocket.
"Michelle," Enrique said, "Here, I have your coffee cup. I had it... monogrammed."
He held the cup out so that Michelle could see. Her face and his gleamed from within a heart; her name on top, and his on bottom. Her hand held out for it, but then stopped herself.
"Is that? Where was that picture from?" she asked.
"It is from that time we were on vacation. The sand, the surf, the beautifulliness of you."
"You mean the trip to Branson, Missouri? There was no beach there!"
"There was a beach in my heart," Enrique said, "And you, you were the sun! Come back to me, I need you. I am like an OPAC without a server."
"That's the dumbest thing I have ever heard," Carlos said.
"Carlos, stay out of this," Michelle said, "And yes, it was quite lame."
"Yes, Carlos, go fix your computers or whatever it is you do and-" Enrique stopped talking and blinked, "Hey, I thought that OPAC thing was good. My mom said sounded great. I stayed up all night-"
The break room door suddenly flew open, again, slamming into the wall, again, and knocking more pins out of the bulletin board. Carlita glided into the room, her dress the color of old book pages and just as easy to remove.
"Am I... interrupting?" Carlita said. She moved between Michelle and Enrique, taking the cup from his hand.
"Carlos," she said, "Can I have some of that coffee?"
Carlos glanced toward Michelle. He then poured the coffee into the mug. "Cream? Sugar?" he asked Carlita.
"No," she said, "I like my coffee like I like my books, dirty and without the covers."
"I don't follow you," Carlos said.
"I really meant sex," Carlita said.
"Ah," Carlos said.
Michelle then moved between them, taking the coffee cup from Carlita's hand.
"This cup's mine, Carlita. You should remember about touching someone else's things."
Carlita opened her mouth to respond when Enrique then moved between the women, facing Michelle.
"So you like the cup, Michelle?" he asked her.
Carlos then moved between Michelle and Enrique, facing Enrique.
"Dude, chick fight."
"Damn," Enrique said.
Just then Carlos felt a hot, scolding pain on his head and back. Michelle emptied the contents of the coffee onto his and Enrique's heads. With that, the two women stalked out.
Carlos put up the coffee pot, his pain both internal and external.
Enrique stepped on one of the pins that had fallen from the bulletin board. He was caused great pain.
Will Carlos and Michelle ever get together? Or will they choose Carlita and Enrique, you know, respectively? Why is their love forbidden?
...Seriously, aren't they adults?
Eh, maybe its policy or something, I dunno.
...But if that's the case then why would Carlita and Enrique be a threat? Wouldn't they be under the same policy?
Enrique plays by no one's rules!
Then why does Enrique still live with his mother? Dude, you are grown!
Shut up, fancy pants nose man you!
Find out next week in Love in the Stacks!
In this book-spine-tingling segment, we introduce you to Carlos and Michelle, two librarians who share a forbidden love. Standing in the way is Enrique, Michelle's past flame and cataloger, and Carlita, the buxom library assistant II that is vying for Carlos's affections. As we begin our tale, Carlos and Michelle enter the break room and meet at the coffee machine...
"Hi, Carlos," Michelle said, as their eyes locked, their gaze holding as one would hold a favorite but very worn paperback.
"Hello," Carlos said, picking up the pot of hot coffee, "Coffee?"
"Oh, Carlos," she said, her hand flying to her chest, "Yes, yes, I would love some!"
"Where is your cup, my dear?" Carlos asked.
Michelle looked around, puzzled. She had set it in the dishwasher only yesterday.
The break room door suddenly flew open, slamming into the wall and knocking pins out of the bulletin board. Enrique strode into the room, his pants just a little too tight to cover the bulge of the item stamp in his pocket.
"Michelle," Enrique said, "Here, I have your coffee cup. I had it... monogrammed."
He held the cup out so that Michelle could see. Her face and his gleamed from within a heart; her name on top, and his on bottom. Her hand held out for it, but then stopped herself.
"Is that? Where was that picture from?" she asked.
"It is from that time we were on vacation. The sand, the surf, the beautifulliness of you."
"You mean the trip to Branson, Missouri? There was no beach there!"
"There was a beach in my heart," Enrique said, "And you, you were the sun! Come back to me, I need you. I am like an OPAC without a server."
"That's the dumbest thing I have ever heard," Carlos said.
"Carlos, stay out of this," Michelle said, "And yes, it was quite lame."
"Yes, Carlos, go fix your computers or whatever it is you do and-" Enrique stopped talking and blinked, "Hey, I thought that OPAC thing was good. My mom said sounded great. I stayed up all night-"
The break room door suddenly flew open, again, slamming into the wall, again, and knocking more pins out of the bulletin board. Carlita glided into the room, her dress the color of old book pages and just as easy to remove.
"Am I... interrupting?" Carlita said. She moved between Michelle and Enrique, taking the cup from his hand.
"Carlos," she said, "Can I have some of that coffee?"
Carlos glanced toward Michelle. He then poured the coffee into the mug. "Cream? Sugar?" he asked Carlita.
"No," she said, "I like my coffee like I like my books, dirty and without the covers."
"I don't follow you," Carlos said.
"I really meant sex," Carlita said.
"Ah," Carlos said.
Michelle then moved between them, taking the coffee cup from Carlita's hand.
"This cup's mine, Carlita. You should remember about touching someone else's things."
Carlita opened her mouth to respond when Enrique then moved between the women, facing Michelle.
"So you like the cup, Michelle?" he asked her.
Carlos then moved between Michelle and Enrique, facing Enrique.
"Dude, chick fight."
"Damn," Enrique said.
Just then Carlos felt a hot, scolding pain on his head and back. Michelle emptied the contents of the coffee onto his and Enrique's heads. With that, the two women stalked out.
Carlos put up the coffee pot, his pain both internal and external.
Enrique stepped on one of the pins that had fallen from the bulletin board. He was caused great pain.
Will Carlos and Michelle ever get together? Or will they choose Carlita and Enrique, you know, respectively? Why is their love forbidden?
...Seriously, aren't they adults?
Eh, maybe its policy or something, I dunno.
...But if that's the case then why would Carlita and Enrique be a threat? Wouldn't they be under the same policy?
Enrique plays by no one's rules!
Then why does Enrique still live with his mother? Dude, you are grown!
Shut up, fancy pants nose man you!
Find out next week in Love in the Stacks!
Razzle Frazzle Internetz
Okay, seems there's been some problem with the uploading software I use to my hands. Here's some videos. Dance monkeys!
Silent Library at Funny or Die!
Silent Library at Funny or Die!
I Found "Things in Books"
Monday, September 20, 2010
Librarians in X: Movies
Yeah, it has been done. A lot. Probably every librarian with a blog has to write this post. This will be my first look at the librarian stereotype in popular culture, starting with movies. Librarian's in movies (in most media) exist are to tell the hero/audience the information they need to know to continue the story. They are exposition fodder. This list will attempt to give out the best of them. It will not be pretty. No, I will not cover all of your favorite movies. Honestly, I am not even gonna cover my favorite movies with librarians in them. I am simply going to cover the ones that I sort of remember that cover the gambit of the stereotype as I see it. Plus, most if not all are pretty fun to watch. Let us begin:
The Librarian series
Dr. Carter is The Librarian: an Indiana Jones wannabe tasked with finding, collecting, and storing all the mystical artifacts of the world in The Library. The clinch is that Dr. Carter (not his real fake name, his real name is Noah Wyle) uses not his nerve and power to get the job done, but his random knowledge of everything in the universe. Most of the solutions are a bit random and odd, but this series makes for good viewing fun if you find yourself stuck on TNT and your TV is drunk.
The Mummy series
The basic plot of this series is an Indiana Jones wannabe and his librarian sidekick woman slash wife keep raising up ancient mummy people who then try to destroy the world and/or Cleveland. The only reason the librarian in this movie is a librarian is so she can give random information and yell out "I'm a librarian!" in tense situations. I do not bemoan these movies or their protaganists, I just like to turn my brain off every once in a while.
The Music Man
I know three types of people that have watched this movie and will comment on it. The first is the average movie goer, who comments with a veracious "Eh." The second are musical fans, who dub the original 1962 version as one of the best things to hit singing cinema since something that is popular with those people. The third are librarians, who hate the Marion the Librarian cliche with a fire bordering akin to burning at Alexandria.
Party Girl
This independent movie is a fun romp as a goofy party girl becomes a librarianish person. I do not remember too much about this movie except the exceptional acting of Parker Posey and her reciting or saying something about the Dewey Decimal system. Insert snarky joke here. Ha ha! Good times, Good times, rent it and have fun.
The Gun In Betty Lou's Handbag
This little bit of cinema forget-me-not is about a small town librarian (Penelope Ann Miller) who gets the sexy back after having a fun little bit of mayhem and carnage. I think vampires were involved with circus midgets. I am also a liar.
It's a Wonderful Life
Donna Reed plays second fiddle to some dude who hates her life. She's a librarian. She does not fight crime in any way. He promises her the moon, yet she does not bother to tell him that is physically impossible, also fiscally impossible as his whole situation revolves around losing money. Wait for December and NBC or TBS will play this movie over and over.
The Pagemaster
The Home Alone kid breaks into a library after having some type of problem with his home life. After an adventure through the magical world of cartoon books, he learns something important. I dunno. I just remember Doc Brown as the creepy librarian. I think he inspired me to become a librarian. If you can find this movie, maybe you are The Librarian.
UHF
Awesome movie featuring this scene. Nuff said.
A great source for everything Librarian in Movies
The Librarian series
Dr. Carter is The Librarian: an Indiana Jones wannabe tasked with finding, collecting, and storing all the mystical artifacts of the world in The Library. The clinch is that Dr. Carter (not his real fake name, his real name is Noah Wyle) uses not his nerve and power to get the job done, but his random knowledge of everything in the universe. Most of the solutions are a bit random and odd, but this series makes for good viewing fun if you find yourself stuck on TNT and your TV is drunk.
The Mummy series
The basic plot of this series is an Indiana Jones wannabe and his librarian sidekick woman slash wife keep raising up ancient mummy people who then try to destroy the world and/or Cleveland. The only reason the librarian in this movie is a librarian is so she can give random information and yell out "I'm a librarian!" in tense situations. I do not bemoan these movies or their protaganists, I just like to turn my brain off every once in a while.
The Music Man
I know three types of people that have watched this movie and will comment on it. The first is the average movie goer, who comments with a veracious "Eh." The second are musical fans, who dub the original 1962 version as one of the best things to hit singing cinema since something that is popular with those people. The third are librarians, who hate the Marion the Librarian cliche with a fire bordering akin to burning at Alexandria.
Party Girl
This independent movie is a fun romp as a goofy party girl becomes a librarianish person. I do not remember too much about this movie except the exceptional acting of Parker Posey and her reciting or saying something about the Dewey Decimal system. Insert snarky joke here. Ha ha! Good times, Good times, rent it and have fun.
The Gun In Betty Lou's Handbag
This little bit of cinema forget-me-not is about a small town librarian (Penelope Ann Miller) who gets the sexy back after having a fun little bit of mayhem and carnage. I think vampires were involved with circus midgets. I am also a liar.
It's a Wonderful Life
Donna Reed plays second fiddle to some dude who hates her life. She's a librarian. She does not fight crime in any way. He promises her the moon, yet she does not bother to tell him that is physically impossible, also fiscally impossible as his whole situation revolves around losing money. Wait for December and NBC or TBS will play this movie over and over.
The Pagemaster
The Home Alone kid breaks into a library after having some type of problem with his home life. After an adventure through the magical world of cartoon books, he learns something important. I dunno. I just remember Doc Brown as the creepy librarian. I think he inspired me to become a librarian. If you can find this movie, maybe you are The Librarian.
UHF
Awesome movie featuring this scene. Nuff said.
A great source for everything Librarian in Movies
Wanna see something old?
This is the story of Laura Jernegan and her three years at sea on a whaling ship. For history buffs out there this is an awesome find from an interesting source. I encourage you to look at the entire website and check out the journal. (Insert random comedy here) (Pause for laugh here)
Girl on a Whale Ship Journal
Friday, September 17, 2010
What Did I Learn In Library School? Computers
After three years and some change, I feel it is time to look back on my time in library school with experienced eyes. What helped me? What hindered me? Have my ideals changed? How has my outlook on the profession changed? The answers to those questions are: writing grants and cataloging, hours of discussing how to make policy, hell yes, and "They called the library the ship of dreams." I am half kidding on that last part. I believe the public library as an entity will always exist in some form, just not the form I enjoyed in my youth. But that's another topic for another time. The topic of this week's "What Did I Learn In Library School?" is Computers. Cue the spooky music!
History
As I learned it so many moons ago, the history of computing goes like this. Lots of philosophers, either on their own or separately, starting talking about thinking toasters. A few of them theorized that thinking toasters were a good idea, even sketching out ideas based on how we would make thinking toasters. Thinking toasters became rage in scifi books and movies. Then TV came along, and everybody was like, "let's make shows about thinking toasters, particularly from or in outer space." Then the military along with some other people, made thinking toasters. Then they let the toasters talk to each other. Then vanilla mortal folks wanted in. Seeing pitchforks and torches in their future if the public were denied, the government let them. Thus, Usenet was born. Usenet then met with a bunch of tubes, had too much to drink, and nine months later what we know of as the Internet was born. Since then, Rule 34 has ruled. What I learned about the history of computers in library school is that you do not have to know, nor does it help you appreciate, computers to use them.
Databases
Do you remember that time in your life when the World Book Encyclopedia was king? Cool full color pictures, even those ones of the body that were see-through and had wee-wees and hoo-ha's on 'em?. That really neat page that showed the landscape of the moon and had every detail mapped out? Article after article of interesting stuff to plagiarize for those last minute assignments? I do. Well that crap ended about the time companies decided to digitize and allow for easy searching. And by easy searching, I mean you really did have to be a college graduate in truncation and faceting to find most decent criteria. Tweens need not apply. And by the time I got that down, here come da Google, here come da Google. What I learned in library school about databases was that they are nifty inventions for categorizing data that will soon be eclipsed by the next new technology.
OPACs
OPACs (Online Public Access Catalogs) were once the library's way of saying: "Look at us and how we fit that big cabinet of cards into the TV screen!" Now, they are the library's computers that failed computer camp. These computers are so slow, ancient, and useless that they can barely operate the mouse. These computers access one page and one page only: the library's. That's how it is supposed to work. Somehow, that little jerk kid with the headphones is still able to access his gmail account. What I learned about OPACs and how they work from library school could fit between the "A" and "S" keys on one of these ancient machines, right next to the cheeto crumbs and nail clippings.
MARC
MARC (Machine Readable Catalog) is one of the most useful things to learn about libraries, even if that's the only thing you take away from library school. Using these records is like using a title page; they give you all the info on a specific book, plus often the library's history with the edition. What I learned about MARC records is that I really like MARC records.
FRBR
I honestly still do not have an inkling about what the hell this does or means. And I wrote three papers on it. I may have even used it in my thesis. No clue. Not one. What I learned about FRBR in library school is that I can B.S. a paper on any topic, even at a graduate level.
Torrents
I learned a lot about torrents and file sharing from library school. Hypothetically speaking, you could say I learned too much. Hypothetically speaking. Mostly from an ethics class, too. I learned some law, too, speaking simply as an observer of technology, not a crazy Pirate from the Bay or anything. dot com
History
As I learned it so many moons ago, the history of computing goes like this. Lots of philosophers, either on their own or separately, starting talking about thinking toasters. A few of them theorized that thinking toasters were a good idea, even sketching out ideas based on how we would make thinking toasters. Thinking toasters became rage in scifi books and movies. Then TV came along, and everybody was like, "let's make shows about thinking toasters, particularly from or in outer space." Then the military along with some other people, made thinking toasters. Then they let the toasters talk to each other. Then vanilla mortal folks wanted in. Seeing pitchforks and torches in their future if the public were denied, the government let them. Thus, Usenet was born. Usenet then met with a bunch of tubes, had too much to drink, and nine months later what we know of as the Internet was born. Since then, Rule 34 has ruled. What I learned about the history of computers in library school is that you do not have to know, nor does it help you appreciate, computers to use them.
Databases
Do you remember that time in your life when the World Book Encyclopedia was king? Cool full color pictures, even those ones of the body that were see-through and had wee-wees and hoo-ha's on 'em?. That really neat page that showed the landscape of the moon and had every detail mapped out? Article after article of interesting stuff to plagiarize for those last minute assignments? I do. Well that crap ended about the time companies decided to digitize and allow for easy searching. And by easy searching, I mean you really did have to be a college graduate in truncation and faceting to find most decent criteria. Tweens need not apply. And by the time I got that down, here come da Google, here come da Google. What I learned in library school about databases was that they are nifty inventions for categorizing data that will soon be eclipsed by the next new technology.
OPACs
OPACs (Online Public Access Catalogs) were once the library's way of saying: "Look at us and how we fit that big cabinet of cards into the TV screen!" Now, they are the library's computers that failed computer camp. These computers are so slow, ancient, and useless that they can barely operate the mouse. These computers access one page and one page only: the library's. That's how it is supposed to work. Somehow, that little jerk kid with the headphones is still able to access his gmail account. What I learned about OPACs and how they work from library school could fit between the "A" and "S" keys on one of these ancient machines, right next to the cheeto crumbs and nail clippings.
MARC
MARC (Machine Readable Catalog) is one of the most useful things to learn about libraries, even if that's the only thing you take away from library school. Using these records is like using a title page; they give you all the info on a specific book, plus often the library's history with the edition. What I learned about MARC records is that I really like MARC records.
FRBR
I honestly still do not have an inkling about what the hell this does or means. And I wrote three papers on it. I may have even used it in my thesis. No clue. Not one. What I learned about FRBR in library school is that I can B.S. a paper on any topic, even at a graduate level.
Torrents
I learned a lot about torrents and file sharing from library school. Hypothetically speaking, you could say I learned too much. Hypothetically speaking. Mostly from an ethics class, too. I learned some law, too, speaking simply as an observer of technology, not a crazy Pirate from the Bay or anything. dot com
Linkageddon!
Graphic Novel's Finest: The Goon!
What more can I say about Eric Powell and The Goon that has not been said? Stunning artwork, engaging stories, and more wacky, off the wall characters than you can shake a stick at. But don't shake a stick at it, it may bite. Any graphic novel collection in any library is only made better by the inclusion of The Goon. Shame on you if it is not already included. Best in the collection is the gritty Chinatown, however it is only given true weight after being measured by the other volumes. For teens and up.
Eric Powell's Website
Thursday, September 16, 2010
High-Five! How to Get Patrons to Like You
I do not know about you, but I wanna be liked by everybody. Well, sometimes. Okay, I am lying. I have plenty of friends that do not ask me to do everything for them. The way I feel about being liked by the people I serve is kinda like the way I feel about hitchhiking. It could be fun and rewarding as a person, but also dangerous and I could end up in a bath tub in New Orleans wondering how many kidneys I am supposed to have. However, if you do want to be liked by the patrons, here's a few tips:
1. Be available. Do not forget as a librarian you are there to serve. If there is no more toilet paper, drop that expense report about how the library cannot afford toilet paper and refill, refill, refill. Do not expect them to be able to find the Stephen King display right by the front door. Walk them to it. Hell, if you can, walk them everywhere like a labradoodle that needs to tinkle.
1. Be available. Do not forget as a librarian you are there to serve. If there is no more toilet paper, drop that expense report about how the library cannot afford toilet paper and refill, refill, refill. Do not expect them to be able to find the Stephen King display right by the front door. Walk them to it. Hell, if you can, walk them everywhere like a labradoodle that needs to tinkle.
2. Known their name. The most basic tool in getting to know someone is knowing their name. Know their title, their nickname, their spouse's secret name for them, the name the government refers to them as. If you can, have someone standing by the entrance to place name tags on everybody. It will make them feel special that you care. However, if you can not remember or pronounce Mr. Pryzklestinacki's name right every time, stick with common forms of address, such as sir, sport, captain, and yeoman for men and madam, my lady, sweetness, and yeowoman for women.
3. Recommend books. This especially works if you know they already like/have read the books. Then it seems like you are right on the same page with them. Remember to smile because even if you personally despise the book so much that uttering its very title is like eating rancid jalapeños dipped in kerosene, they love it and now so do you. If you cannot withhold your distaste, channel it into back handed complements, such as "That's the best book I have read since that last one I hated." To keep in time with that, continue recommending other books, hopefully in the same series. When comparing, use the phrase "only with more" as much as you can, such as "True Blood is like Twilight, only with more vampires!"
3. Recommend books. This especially works if you know they already like/have read the books. Then it seems like you are right on the same page with them. Remember to smile because even if you personally despise the book so much that uttering its very title is like eating rancid jalapeños dipped in kerosene, they love it and now so do you. If you cannot withhold your distaste, channel it into back handed complements, such as "That's the best book I have read since that last one I hated." To keep in time with that, continue recommending other books, hopefully in the same series. When comparing, use the phrase "only with more" as much as you can, such as "True Blood is like Twilight, only with more vampires!"
4. Never give them a problem. A sure fire way to always be liked is to never give a reason to be disliked. Agree with them around every turn, even if they are wrong. Do they have too many fines? Fuggit about it. Do not remember where that book went? Hell, those run away all the time. Brought that book back? We suck at our jobs, of course you did. One easy test that you are ready to use this method is to say the follow sentence with little to no sarcasm or mocking: "Sure, there's no way you could have seen those teeth marks on the DVD when it was checked out."
5. Talk to them. Now, I do not mean really get into genuine debates or conversations with them. Get into debates where you both agree about the same thing. That will give them a superior feeling because someone surrounded with books feels like they do. The best way to do this is to pick safe topics, let them give their point of view, then expound on their point of view with a question, i.e. "I know, babys are cute, but are they also cuddly and smell good?" Conversations can be done the same way. Just shake your head knowingly when they stop talking.6. Publicly acknowledge them. Sometimes you genuinely need the public's help. By help, I mean warm body that can pass out punch and keep teenagers from setting fire to the stacks. Let us be honest, setting up 20 volunteers in a rotating shift of three minutes each so their attention spans can handle the work is hard, but so is opening a door and greeting people. So when the time comes, individually name each and every person who helped out, except yourself, of course. One final note, always end with the eldest person, as it shows respect for their position in the community "...and thanks to Mrs. Voldemort, who sure worked hard standing tonight."
7. High-Five them. Seriously, it brings a smile to everyone's face.
7. High-Five them. Seriously, it brings a smile to everyone's face.
I May be in Love With Awful Library Books!
One of these people has genital her- No, wait, now two of, hold on... yep, all of them have genital herpes.
From the author of Update: Alcoholism and Update: Jersey Shore
But you'll always mean "Yes"
And I thought my desk was big...
So when I think library furniture, I think functionality and durability. Maybe some random wood. Apparently these people think in terms of books. Lots of books. I wonder how many people think this is the book sale?
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
The Booksale: Yes, We Will Throw That Away For You
Ah, the book sale. For most libraries, it is there only real money marketing venture. Hidden away in a little corner, stacks of the unwanted and unused sit, ready to be plucked at garage sale prices. But what is actually in that monster pit of refuse and bile? Well, before you plan your appearance on Antique Roadshow, let's take a look:
National Geographic and Reader's Digest Condensed Books
By far, the most plentiful items you will find in a library book sale are these two. Why you ask? Because for some reason, everyone, and I mean everyone from your great-grandfather to your milkman collected these or knows someone who did. That there are still folks out there willing to continue collecting these items is amazing, yet they sell. So the next time grandma kicks it (hopefully for the last time), remember your library when you find that collection of National Geographic behind those antique "spoons from around the world."
Library Discards
Does everyone know why the book sale really exists? It exists because the library cannot contain everything it has ever collected. Sure things get broken or stained, but often things just do not get used. So it is out with the old and in with the new through a process called "collection development" or "weeding" or "media-ectomy" or my favorite, "The Buffalo Theory." So libraries discard* materials and hope to get enough money in a year from them to buy at least one toner cartridge. Thanks for supporting.
Paperbacks*
Another donated item that rarely gets collected are the paperbacks. Paperbacks, the bastard red headed mule boy of the publishing industry, are kicked around until they can be recycled into something useful, like toilet paper. Sure, they have their uses. They are portable, cheap and come in a variety of colors. Because of this, though, they do not fit well on shelves and suck when it comes to longevity. So let us sell the bastard mule boys.
Old-Format Media
Honestly, this is my favorite type of book sale item. Where else but the public library can you find a laser disc of the first six episodes of Trapper John, M.D.? You wanna know where? Ebay. Other than them? TrapperJohnonlaserdisccausewhynot.com. Anywhere else? No where. And why is that? Cause most popular media checks out so fast the bastards are ripping it out of your hands before you catalog it. Libraries jump to stock things that will check out. When the old format goes away though, what's gonna happen to those Betamax copies of Battlestar Galactica (OS)? The book sale, that's what.
Handouts, Flyers and Miscellaneous
What else can you find in a book sale? Fliers for the heat centered yoga training for your pets? Why not? Handouts from local boy scout troop about spotting terrorists? That's where they are! That local newspaper that nobody reads but is really good for litter boxes and blankets on park benches when your girlfriend kicks you out for making a pass at her mother? Right over there, Smelly Jim! A Mouse corpse? Hell, yeah! There's TWO! This endless supply of crap will haunt the bowels of your mind forever.
* "Discard" is actually and old Myan word that means "to make fun of cards"
* "Paperback" was my stage name in college.
National Geographic and Reader's Digest Condensed Books
By far, the most plentiful items you will find in a library book sale are these two. Why you ask? Because for some reason, everyone, and I mean everyone from your great-grandfather to your milkman collected these or knows someone who did. That there are still folks out there willing to continue collecting these items is amazing, yet they sell. So the next time grandma kicks it (hopefully for the last time), remember your library when you find that collection of National Geographic behind those antique "spoons from around the world."
Library Discards
Does everyone know why the book sale really exists? It exists because the library cannot contain everything it has ever collected. Sure things get broken or stained, but often things just do not get used. So it is out with the old and in with the new through a process called "collection development" or "weeding" or "media-ectomy" or my favorite, "The Buffalo Theory." So libraries discard* materials and hope to get enough money in a year from them to buy at least one toner cartridge. Thanks for supporting.
Paperbacks*
Another donated item that rarely gets collected are the paperbacks. Paperbacks, the bastard red headed mule boy of the publishing industry, are kicked around until they can be recycled into something useful, like toilet paper. Sure, they have their uses. They are portable, cheap and come in a variety of colors. Because of this, though, they do not fit well on shelves and suck when it comes to longevity. So let us sell the bastard mule boys.
Old-Format Media
Honestly, this is my favorite type of book sale item. Where else but the public library can you find a laser disc of the first six episodes of Trapper John, M.D.? You wanna know where? Ebay. Other than them? TrapperJohnonlaserdisccausewhynot.com. Anywhere else? No where. And why is that? Cause most popular media checks out so fast the bastards are ripping it out of your hands before you catalog it. Libraries jump to stock things that will check out. When the old format goes away though, what's gonna happen to those Betamax copies of Battlestar Galactica (OS)? The book sale, that's what.
Handouts, Flyers and Miscellaneous
What else can you find in a book sale? Fliers for the heat centered yoga training for your pets? Why not? Handouts from local boy scout troop about spotting terrorists? That's where they are! That local newspaper that nobody reads but is really good for litter boxes and blankets on park benches when your girlfriend kicks you out for making a pass at her mother? Right over there, Smelly Jim! A Mouse corpse? Hell, yeah! There's TWO! This endless supply of crap will haunt the bowels of your mind forever.
* "Discard" is actually and old Myan word that means "to make fun of cards"
* "Paperback" was my stage name in college.
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