Jackson Library Director Resigns, Not a Fit: Conspiracy?

"Former Library Director Bill Johnson resigned from his position, said Madison County Commissioner Jerry Bastin at the commission agenda review meeting Thursday.
Susan Hauer, LSSI managing director of eastern operations, said he resigned in late September because he was not a fit with the Jackson-Madison County Library.
“He decided that the situation there in Jackson and at the Jackson library, it wasn’t a fit for him and the library, so he decided to resign,” Hauer said. “... He decided that it wasn’t working as he had hoped it to.”"

Well, how do you do?  I do not know the specifics, but I think something is going on in Jackson.  Think about it, a library director resigns and it makes headlines?  I smell conspiracy.  Let's follow the evidence.

1)  He resigned because he said he did not "fit."  What also does not "fit?"  Oversized books.  They have special shelves and drawers for them.

2) What kinds of books are generally oversized?  Atlases.  And what do atlases concern?  Lines.

3)  Where do you see the most lines?  That's right, DisneyLand.  Something that also does not "fit" in Mississippi.

There you have it: The Jackson-Madison County Library System is planning on diverting funds from atlas maintenance to build DisneyLand in Mississippi.  All the evidence checks out.  We can only hope Former Director Bill Johnson gets this information to the right people.

Library director resigns from post - Jackson Sun:

Library director resigns from post Jackson Sun Former Library Director Bill Johnson resigned from his position, said Madison County Commissioner Jerry Bastin at the commission agenda review meeting Thursday. Susan Hauer, LSSI managing director of eastern operations, said he resigned in late ...

Free Library on the Bus

"Southern Door students on bus 51 have had their commute to and from school turned into another opportunity to learn with the installation of a box of books by their bus driver, Ted Chaudoir."

Man, times have changed.  Back in my day, bus drivers would tell you to sit down on those green plastic, seatbelt-less benches and be quiet.  Now, they are setting up little libraries for the kids to entertain themselves with.  What happens next?  Escalation, that's what.  Today it's books.  Tomorrow, television.  Soon, the little jerks are gonna be handed iDroidPads and in-bus movies.  Then, after the collapse of civilization the attention starved hooligans are going to rebel against their creators.  And who will they turn to?  The bus drivers, that's who.  The way to school will then be bathed in the blood of the innocent as the yellow death machine becomes a rolling thunder dome.  Pray for the children.

Books on the bus: Southern Door bus driver shares daughter's books with students - Green Bay Press Gazette:

Books on the bus: Southern Door bus driver shares daughter's books with students Green Bay Press Gazette “The fact that we are utilizing the peers and the peers mentor idea I think is probably the most …encouraging thing about (Books on the Bus),” said Missy Bousley, Southern Door Title 1 reading specialist. Over time Chaudoir's book collection has ... and more »

County VS City: Library Wars

"“Dysfunctional”, “horse crap” and “extortionist” — the war of words between Escambia County and the City of Pensacola over library funding escalated Thursday, with members of the Escambia County Commission firing the latest verbal salvos over not just the library but also public transit."

War over jurisdictional funding, how snippy you are.  This reminds me of a story my great-granddad used to tell of when he and the library suggested that the county provide support for the bookmobile program.  The Banned County claimed that those funds should come from what they already give the library.  The Bannville Board of Aldermen claimed that they "did not need the damn thing in the city, so maybe the county should pay the damn gas people for their illiterate yokel ass patrons."  My granddad was less pleased at these turns of phrases and made a deal with some of the moonshiners in the hollows to use the bookmobile to ferry booze into the speakeasies of the city in exchange for gas money.  It worked and everything was fine after that.

Library War Continues Between 'Dysfunctional' City And 'Extortionist' County - NorthEscambia.com:

NorthEscambia.com

Library War Continues Between 'Dysfunctional' City And 'Extortionist' County NorthEscambia.com “Dysfunctional”, “horse crap” and “extortionist” — the war of words between Escambia County and the City of Pensacola over library funding escalated Thursday, with members of the Escambia County Commission firing the latest verbal salvos over not just ... Escambia commissioners discuss leaving library systemPensacola News Journal all 8 news articles »

Hey Ladies, New Library Job Offer from Sultan

So this is not nearly as interesting a story as the headline lead you to believe, but I got pulled in by a respectable institution and you got pulled in by me. Who feels better? Ha! Sorry, here's what's up: Supreme Council Member and Ruler of Sharjah His Highness Dr Sheikh Sultan Bin Mohammed Al Qasimi, hereafter known as "Sultan Bin," was on a radio show thing and a lady librarian called in saying she could not get a job.  Sultan Bin said, "Well, hell.  Come on in."  And all female librarians out there that want a job can have one.  As for male librarians, they continue their quiet existence in the shadows, existing among you.  

Sultan orders job positions for female librarians - Gulf Today:

Sultan orders job positions for female librarians Gulf Today SHARJAH: Supreme Council Member and Ruler of Sharjah His Highness Dr Sheikh Sultan Bin Mohammed Al Qasimi has given instructions that female librarians be appointed after registering with the Sharjah Directorate of Human Resources in view of the ... and more »

Don't Be Stinky or Anything in Orange County

So being stinky is not always well regarded,  as two old guys found out in Bromley, London, and now the homeless population in Orange County, California know that too.  And a lot more.  City ordinances covering everything from smoking to sleeping pay out hefty fines for the population of 30,000 homeless in the area.

Wow, how about that, huh?  Anybody want to just go down there with a truck, round all the homeless up and take them out to the desert like elderly random indigenous people?  Oooo, or we could eat them, clearing up that whole hungry problem they seem to have, too.  Better yet, and this is just a modest proposal, let's get them to work on the space shuttle and send them to the f*$@ing moon.

Sorry for my language, but this kind of passive aggressive bureaucratic crap is annoying at best and bordering on civil rights issues at worst.  So you don't want homeless people in your town, fine, sure.  How about starting programs to get them homes, you jerks?  Seems starting altruistic programs would be better P.R. than creating some Demolition Man-esque dystopia where everyone needs to look good on television.

Law against smelling bad is among many Orange County ordinances targeting ... - San Jose Mercury News:

Law against smelling bad is among many Orange County ordinances targeting ... San Jose Mercury News The Newport Beach Public Library, nestled in a coastal city better known for its surfing and miles of wide beaches, recently updated a policy that says staff can evict someone for having poor hygiene or a strong aroma. The policy also bans lounging on ... and more »

GED Practice Test Not Promoted in New Jersey

In this economy, a library can not turn down a little publicity for a free service.  But that's what libraries in New Jersey are doing, yeah buddy.  The New Jersey State Library, to prepare for the coming online version of the GED test, have purchased a limited time online practice test program, but many public libraries in the state are not promoting its use even though it is free to them.

Look, I know that time is money, but how hard is it to print out a couple posters, put a link on the website, and tell your staff to take it to give them a little walking around knowledge?  Not in your demographic?  I do not care if you live in Beverly Hills, somebody needs a little education in your community.   I do not want to say the word "lazy" because I bet these folks work hard and have a lot on their plates, but this is a little silly.

Many Union County libraries decline to promote free online GED assistance ... - Independent Press - NJ.com:

Independent Press - NJ.com

Many Union County libraries decline to promote free online GED assistance ... Independent Press - NJ.com With three months remaining in a free, one-year-only program to prepare New Jersey residents for taking the GED exam, many Union County libraries are not promoting it. The New Jersey State Library purchased a subscription to GED Online last year before ...

Coupon Guy Gives Free Library Talk

"When it comes to saving a buck in Northeast Ohio, Joe "The Coupon Guy" Daugirdas' reputation precedes him. The Willoughby Hills resident typically saves 70 to 80 percent on groceries alone. Now the popular money saver returns to the Mentor Public Library for the free Extreme Couponing: Tips and Tricks program Tuesday evening in the James R. Garfield Room.

"'Extreme couponing is very popular right now, there is even a TV show on TLC devoted to it,' said Barbara Vendeville, the library's community outreach coordinator. 'We thought this program, with an expert, would be a great opportunity to help our patrons save money.'"

Mentor Public Library program features Coupon Guy and his saving tips - Plain Dealer

I understand that libraries want to get people in and saving money in this economy is a big topic for a draw, but if I want to hear coupon advice, I will no longer ignore the old lady in front of me talking to her log about what her debit PIN might be.  I mean, what is the deal with these people, am I right? 

Sorry, I just hacked up a joke.

Also... "Extreme Couponing?" We are devoid of topics, America.

And that was a Twin Peaks reference, not a poop joke.