Libraria Obscura Socialia Theatre: Are You Ready for Some Football?

Welcome to Libraria Obscura Socialia Theatre.  The Monday has come again.  You know the one.  Half the staff will be going on about their work, calmly chit-chatting about the normal benign stuff.  The hard core Big Game fan will be home, so hungover they cannot tell the toilet from the cat.  The other quarter of the staff will be sitting in the break room or at the Circ Desk talking about the big game and all it entails.  Most of these people will be talking about the commercials, yet several will be hard into the mechanics of this "football."  Here a simple conversational example of the latter starring Brenda from Reference and Betty from Circulation:

    

Brenda and Betty: Are You Ready For Some Football?

Betty:  

Hi, Brenda, did you see the game last night?

Brenda:  

Hell yeah I saw it, the Packers brought back the trophy, baby!

Betty:  

Yeah... Um, wasn't the Darth Vader kid commercial funny?

Brenda:  

My husband said it was, I was paying to much attention to the game and that bull&*t call in the 3rd Quarter!

Betty:  

Brenda, you don't have to shout, I thought that call was unfair-

Brenda:  

Unfair!  It was criminal!  That ref should be taken out back to pick his own switch and then have it shoved up his-

Betty:  

Brenda!  Calm down!  It was just a game! 

Brenda:  

Just a game!  I bleed green and yellow!  Just a game... Go pick your own switch!

Betty:  

What? No... Go to your station.

Brenda:  

You go to your station.

Betty:  

I... I'm already here.

Brenda:  

Well, you better be.

The two stand awkwardly for a minute.

Betty:  

Did you see the Captain America spot?

Brenda:  

Yeah, it was sweet.

End Scene

Fin

We thank you for attending LOST.  All proceeds will go to The Children's Home for Illiterate Lazy Drunks and Carnally Obsessed Protestant Eugenicists (CHILDCOPE) because we all need love.

6 Library Holiday Party Games

That time has come when the holiday party is upon us.  Do you want another weak year of everyone standing around, talking about work and staring at each other?  Is the DJ just Brenda from reference putting together her greatest Celine Deon hits collection together?  Forget all that and break out some party games to spice up the atmosphere.

Just remember not to eat the ornaments.

Here are six games guaranteed to have people still talking after the new year:

1. Dirty Santa
The oldies still work.  This easy to play game takes just a wee bit of preparation and participation from the staff, but is sure to lead to loads of fun.  The gist is simple:  everybody brings a wrapped gift of low value and places them in a pile.  Everyone takes a number, one to however many people there are.  The person with number one chooses a gift and unwraps it.  Then number two can choose to steal number one's gift or choose a new present.  If the gift is stolen, the person it was stolen from picks a new, unwrapped gift.  The game continues, the next person in line stealing any previous opened present or choosing an unopened present.  When everyone has chosen or stolen, the first person in line gets to choose either to steal from anyone or keep his or her choice.  Beware:  Game may lead to hurt feelings and possibly an old lady hitting you with a cane when you "steal" her waffle iron.

2.  Bobbing for Bestsellers
This game is an old classic with a library twist.   New books not in circulation and old discarded books are piled in a bin.  The trick is to reach in blind-folded with one hand and pull out one of the new books.

 Think less apples and water, more books.

Everyone gets three turns, with prizes awarded to fit the pulls:  3 new books is a good prize, 2 new books is an okay prize, 1 is a not so good prize, and 0 is no prize.  Beware:  Know that you are giving participants potentially heavy and lethal weapons when things do not go their way. 

3.  Pin the Bookmark on the Administrator
PBA is pretty simple, especially if you have an admin staff that can take some beatings.  Set up is pretty easy, just get a large picture of an administrator, put a tack in a book mark, designate where on the administrator the mark should go.  Playing is also easy:  Blindfold the participant, give him/her the bookmark, spin them around a few times, aim them and let them go.  Whoever gets closest wins.  Bonus if you can somehow get a real admin to stand in without resorting to wimpy velcro or stick tape.  Beware:  Game may lead to admin retaliation in the New Year in the form of loss or gain of hours, public service time, etc.

Think long and hard about that "overtime" you asked for.

4.  Spin the Book Cart
For those more with a more "frisky" library setting, here is spin the book cart.  All you need is a decent amount of alcohol, a book cart, and some librarians who like smoochin.  Everyone stands in a circle, the book cart is spun, and whomever the cart points to has to kiss the person who spun it.  Bring chapstick.  Beware:  Game may lead to unwanted feelings displayed, especially by Betty in circulation, and the spread of cold sores as well as mono.

Spreading love and VD for 30 years...

5.  7 Minutes in the Stacks
After all that alcohol, Betty from circulation is starting to look pretty hot, eh?  Time to break out 7 Minutes in the Stacks.  Using the same setup from Spin the Book Cart, players instead of kissing have to disappear into the dark stacks for five minutes.  Whatever happens in the stacks, stays in the stacks.  After 7 minutes are up, the rest of the staff that cares comes and finds what you are doing.  Beware:  Betty is a tiger.  Rar!

Somewhere down there is a recipe for love... lets find it together.

6.  Library Fight Club
The time for f*&king around is over.  The alcohol is gone, Betty is no more fun, and God help you, Brenda from reference is starting to look good.  The time has come to get out some aggression.  Here are the rules for Library Fight Club:
a. Only talk in Library Fight Club.
b. Only TALK in Library Fight Club.
c.  If someone cries, or bows their head, the fight is over.
d.  Two staff members to a fight.
e.  Dear God keep your shirt and shoes on.
f.  Fights will go on as long as they have to.
g.  If this is your first night at Library Fight Club, we can talk about it.

Let's get it on!

Images
party pic here
apple pic here
old lady pic here
donkey pic here
book cart here
dude pic here