Showing posts with label Titanic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Titanic. Show all posts

Thursday, January 3, 2013

What Can I Say? A Bunch Happened. LIKE NEWS!

The Upper St. Clair Library is offering classes on healthier eating.  The Lower St. Clair Library is offering classes on stealing candy from blind old people.

Puffin unveils a Doctor Who themed book series.  When asked, the Doctor replied, "I'm a fictional character, I don't give a shit."

A winter pruning class is being offered by the Woodland Library Rose Club.  Who knew you needed a class to get dried out and wrinkly?

Greenville librarian said in an announcement the decision to ban Alan Moore's graphic novel Neonomicon was not made lightly but instead while standing on their heads and then getting up until they felt that "whoa" feeling.

The Hillsborough Library will host a program about the Titanic with actual artifacts and involving guest speaker Ishmael "The Iceman" Iceberg.

Books donated by St. Paul's Episcopal Church to School 6 in Buffalo, NY will be blessed before the donation happens.  Students commented this is not the first time they have received books with shit on them.

Redding, CA must allow leafleting in "free speech" areas, including public libraries, a judge decides.  Steve "The Hobo" no last name given has already started turning out his leaflet, "Why I'm Standing Outside the Library Instead of Showing You My Junk Inside the Library: A Hobo Story. By the Way, Look Down, That's My Junk."

Read this article to make your Google Play ebooks not sound like shit.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Library Plans Fake Titanic Experience

The Alma Public Library is making plans to reenact the sinking of the Titanic in honor of the boats 100th birthday.  The library will sponsor a dinner that will serve the same food as was on the Titanic.

If I were running this, immediately after the dinner, my buddy would throw a block of ice through the window with a note that says "Go back to land, shipmates!" Then I would blast Celene Dion and have a couple bungee (or not-bungee, depends on depression levels) jump off the roof before hitting the sprinklers.  Bad luck for all those people who chose to sit in the children's department, though, cause we are locking them inside to drown.  Hell, we might even block all the doors but the front one so there's only so many options for escape.

In case you are wondering, my library events have on average a 50% mortality rate.

Titanic reenactment event planned at Alma Public Library