The copy of the Webster's Dictionary in the Banned Library is in mourning after the announcement that the Encyclopaedia Britannica will have no more updated print editions released. Librarians and the current Britannica edition attempted to appeal to the book's sense of honor in upholding information relevancy, but the dictionary would not have it."You sons of bitches don't understand," Webster's Dictionary was quoted as saying, "This is not the first nor the last time I have seen this happen. When they came for the Farmer's Almanac, I said nothing. When they came for Americana, I said nothing. But now they got Britannica?! That mother was old, dude! Before long the only resources on the reference shelf will be me, Chase's Calendar of Events and Guinness Book of World Records, and have you tried holding a conversation with a date freak and a drunk? 'Today's the annual Rutabaga Festival in I Don't Care, Arkansas. Didja know the oldest lady is hiccup Irish crap...' Well, you know what? I'm not going down without a fight. I'm coming after you, Wikipedia. Do you have a word for Dictionary Death, Urban Dictionary? You're about to."Information Security experts have been put on alert after Mr. Dictionary escaped confinement at the Banned Library and disappeared. Librarians at the Banned Library said not to worry that the edition could not get far as it does not include any maps but are worried as it is a paperback edition and will not be able to endure the spring rains.
Encyclopaedia Britannica Closes Book On Hard Copies - NPR