Knox County Bans Sex Offenders

Knox County Mayor Tim Burchett in Knox County, Tennessee has set forth an executive order to ban all sex offenders from entering public libraries.  Offenders may use resources from home or apply for a library card and have someone else come in to check out books for them.  Opponents to the order state that not all sex crimes are child related and these types of regulation may force sex offenders into not registering with the state.  WBIR

As my grandma used to say, "His heart's in the right place but his butt's in the fire.  Bring me my whiskey, boy."  How the hell are they going to tell if people are sex offenders when they walk in the library?  They can not come in, so it is not like they can register with the library.

Burchett eloquently states "The time to shut the barn doors is before the cows get out. After you have an event where there is an abduction or a kid molested in a bathroom, it's too late."  Okay, good point if not worded with a barnyard flair, but what about those people that do not pose a threat to children?  Do the folks that showed their breasts at a protest or took a picture of their own children in the bathtub deserve the same treatment as pedophiles and rapists?  What do you have against boobs and babies?  I thought everyone likes to look at boobs and babies.

Oh, side note:  can we put those Jersey Shore idiots on the sex offender list so they'll put their shirts back on and shut up?  How about just Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton?  They knew what they weren't wearing when they stepped out of those limos.  Maybe the paparazzi so we do not have to see them anymore?

Library Crime News, Cause People Sometimes Suck

A bit more crime happened this week other than Mike and his Superman collection and Skeeter getting arrested.  Here's what went down:

A Carlsbad, CA woman was arrested for swiping around 2,000 library materials from San Diego Public Libraries.  Where the hell was Lindsey Lohan this week?  laist

A librarian in Polk County, FL was charged with cyber-stalking a woman by hacking her Facebook account and email.  Just remember, ladies, librarians are good with computers... and your lady parts. abcactionnews

A retired Washington librarian and boy scout leader stands accused of sexually molesting two children in his capacity of a scout leader.  Community calls bullshit.  Where the hell was Michael Jackson this... oh, oh, sorry, too soon. News Tribune

A New Zealand man was arrested for putting his face in a woman's butt in the parenting section of the library.  Now that is how you get banned from a library.  Herald Sun

A Dublin, OH librarian was suspended and fined for cutting the shelves of a school library with a circular saw.  Re-read that.  We do not know whether he cut them for a library related reason or if they were just giving him the runaround.  NBC4i

Let's end on an awesome note, shall we:  When a Catholic school girl recieved her school's banned book list, she felt all kinds of groady about it.  She started loaning her copies of the books to her friends, then the entire school.  Her locker became a banned books library and she branched out to the locker next door, too.  This story has everything I like:  banned books, lockers, branches, and Catholic school girl outfits.  I am a dirty old man.  Babble

Book-A-Librarian: Not a Stripper Thing

Crazy Cat Smell Sold Separately

The residents of Park Ridge now have the ability to book one-on-one time with their favorite librarian for some full on research action.  The new service aims to give patrons a more personal and complete use of the library, the Triblocal reports.  While offering supervised research, the librarians are also available to give computer tutorials and classes.  Each session is for a limited amount of time, so to get your time's worth know what you want and get to it!

I think it is nice that librarians are learning from strip clubs.  Once we would have serviced everybody equally, dancing around shaking our non-profits for all to see.  Now we can get more personal and up close in the Study Room, giving special attention.  Just remember, there is no Sex Education in the Study Room.  Oh, there's studying in the Study Room.  But there is no Sex Education in the Study Room.