Back in the Saddle, All the News I Missed in One Go

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So the Banned Library took a little vacation and look at what you folks did.  Calendars, ebook crap, Amazon and that damn Kindle, even Harry ma-fuckin Potter got in on the action.  Well, here we go with the best random sentences I could cobble together in my one non-alcohol infused hallucination.  So hit the jump and follow the pink elephant into the marshmallow pool!

Because it works so well with firemen, the men of the library started a little calendar to show off their cataloging butts for charity.  Nothing like living out that Full Monty fantasy, right fellas?  LATimes

Pottermore, the Harry Potter site, announced that they will not be releasing Harry Potter ebooks until early 2012.  I guess I will have to go back to the pdf scans a 14 year old made and torrented two years ago.  ABCNews

The Amazon ebook "Reamde" by Neal Stephenson came under fire when first it was said to be full of typos and errors, and upon re-release Amazon labeled the ebook as having corrected "missing content."  Amazon had no comment when we pretended to call them on our hand because of our next story.  ChristianScienceMonitor

Amazon officially announced their color Kindle, the "Amazon Fire."  Hilariously, you could equate this to the burning of the amazon jungle to allow for grazing land for cattle.  In this joke, cattle are people.  Amazon via Geekologie

President Obama has set forth legislation that will allow states to opt out of the controversial "No Child Left Behind" program.  I do not have a joke, I just wanted you all to know.  CNN

This article was titled "Books on the Banned Wagon."  That is the single best article title in Banned Books week ever.  hindustantimes

New York librarians can rest easy again knowing that the nightmare book thief has been caught and prosecuted.  With this one problem gone, the library can concentrate on who keeps leaving stinky in the men's restroom.  New York Post

Two, count them, two libraries were infested with bedbugs this week.  The Vancouver area library found bedbugs in their shelves and furniture, as did an Arizona library.  VancouverSun and AZCentral

The Lowell City Council in Massachusetts has voted to ban sex offenders from being at the library during times when children are present.  So remember, get arrested for a sex related crime and you are not allowed into Summer Reading.  BostonHerald

Freaked out, the California State University library was evacuated searched after a patron indicated he had a gun.  The man was found and slapped around like the stupid red-headed stepchild he was.  WashingtonPost

The e-reader app Kobo now allows your friends to see what you are reading and when you are reading it by posting automatic notices.  Your mother wants to know why you would read all that smut.  Your best friend thinks you are gay for Percy Jackson.  Your girlfriend wants to know who "Jane Eyre" is and if she is prettier.  Thanks, Kobo.  USAToday

The Dead Sea Scrolls are gonna be online.  We can get 2000 year old parchment online, but not fucking Harry Potter?  Youtube via BoingBoing

Catching Up, Last Week's Book News: I Was Busy

So sue me, I missed out on a lot of news this week.  So here's the weekend wrapup, all the stuff I forgot to get to involving books and book related news!  Enjoy!

President Obama went on a vacation and bought some books.  Some made up bullshit controversy came up when he seemed to read a lot of male authors.  Holy shit, that bastard.  Let's forget that he seems to be promoting some literacy and not out on the ranch pretending to be the Marlboro Man and focus on a trival details like "taste," "preference" and "give the guy a break he's the president not the messiah." reuters

NASA has plans to publish a science fiction series.  Yup.  Guess that whole "space flight" thing was something they did as a day job while they came up with a kickass space marine idea. mnn

SF Gateway, one of the largest libraries of science fiction, is offering out of print scifi books as ebooks coming soon.  Guess what website NASA is waiting on? planetpdf

U.S. Venture donates school supplies and over 1,800 books to school children.  I don't have a joke here.  Sometimes big business marketing is not so bad.  prnewswire

New juvenile book "Maggie Goes on a Diet" shamed for being dangerous and against body type issues.  "Debbie Goes on a Run and Eats Healthy" deamed un-American.  "Frank Goes Outside" Book Burning to be held on Tuesday. desderetnews

New Jersey school district pulled a book about lesbians for "inappropriate language."  Cast of Jersey Shore responds, "That's a fuckin' disgrace.  I like lesbians and hope their language get a fair shake, ya know?" foxnews

"To Train Up a Child," a "Christian" book about raising your child through the "spare the rod, spoil the child method" and already associated with at least one child death, is being censored throughout the world.  I will not stand for book censorship, so let's just kill all the motherfuckers who beat or tell others to beat their children.  stuff.co.nz

The school board in Missouri that banned Slaughterhouse Five is pretending to take a look at the merits of the books because the nation is pissed off at them.  It is also no coincidence that Kevin Bacon was seen in the area encouraging children to dance.  chron.com