Showing posts with label bedbugs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bedbugs. Show all posts

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Charities, Alan Moore Banned and Bedbugs: Week of Dec 2 - Dec 8

www.childsplaycharity.org
First, I want to tell you about two charities that do awesome things for children in hospitals.  The first is Child's Play Charity.  Set up by the creators of the webcomic Penny Arcade as a way for gamers to give back, Child's Play donates millions of video games, books, and other items to children's hospitals all over the world.

http://www.kateskart.org/ 


The second is Kate's Kart, a similar charity that focuses on donating books to children's hospital and promoting literacy.  Both of these charities are remarkable and I encourage you to support their efforts in providing hope, love and maybe a little distraction to those that need it the most: sick kids. 

Okay, sorry, but I had to get that out of the way.  Here's the quick news: 

Rumor has it that the University of Chicago is campaigning to become the Presidential Library of Barack Obama.  Time was we would build a new library to host the presidential what-nots, but I guess using any old thing will do.

The Library of Congress has released over 1,600 color photographs of World War II era American Society photographs.  Too bad none of them have anything to do with what the American Ninja Michael Dudikoff or the dhampir Bloodrayne were up to.

Birmingham, AL area has made the news twice.  The first time was when the Homewood Public Library started a series of events aimed at educating the public on a variety of topics including Medicare and ghosts while the Birmingham Public Library was focused on a program about fashion.  I do not know about you, but when I think about going to Alabama, the only things I can think about are how good I feel, how good I look, and what happens when I die.

Juliet Machie, former librarian at the Detroit Public Library, has sued the library commission for campaigning to stop her being promoted.  The most damaging campaigns came in the form of text messages that were aimed at her accent.  Now, sheeet, I don't know bout y'all, but that's fucked up.  They gotta see bout that.

The Cobb Public Library System in Georgia spent 13 days with slow Internet speeds.  A number of patrons lost thousands of fake dollars in fake Farmville crops as the browsers just would not refresh.

The graphic novel Neonomicon by Alan Moore was pulled from the shelves of the Greenville County Library System in South Carolina after a mother of the 14 year old reader challenged the book.  The book was in the adult section of the library and checked out on an adult card.  "Ahhh!  I made a mistake and now my child has questions and everybody has to pay for that injustice!"
\
Over 500 historic photographs are now on display at the Washington State Library of the Nooksack Valley area.  I just wanted to write "Nooksack Valley."

Bubba Gump Partners With Destin Library.  All in the title.  Thanks, Florida.

Magazine giant Cosmopolitan and romance publisher Harlequin have teamed up to form an ebook partnership.  No mention if they are going to go after the Batman with separately themed traps or combine their powers to defeat him.

The Marathon County Public Library in Wisconsin unveiled an aquarium this week.  Cosmo and Harlequin have begun making plans to install sharks with laser beams as we speak.

Marisa Anton of New York pleaded guilty this week to pursuing sexual advances with a sixteen year old boy under her charge as a school librarian.  Damn those sex crazed librarians, know what I mean?

Bedbugs found in University of Washington's library books are being frozen off.  The bedbugs will be defrosted sometime in the year 2050 after they are needed to fight the super-criminal Wesley Snipes.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Fancy Pants News: These People Be On the Nets for Books and Libraries

So I been ill for a day or so,
so I'll try to be funny all in one go.
Not trying to rhyme,
not all the time.
This is breaking down.
I feel like a clown.
So here's the news, this time I mean it.
Anybody got a peanut?

Singer lady Taylor Swift donated over 6,000 books to- I'ma let you finish I just need a cheap cameo.  Whine, whine, who's got wine?- the city of Reading, PA. cbsnews

A homeless man in the Evanston Public Library threw a chair through a wall after over a banning dispute for behavior. That'll fix it, hombre. Patch

Librarians turned defacement into an art show when play-write Joe Orton's artistic vandalism of library books was put on display.  Well, way to fix the problem.  Got a crazy notion to write your memoirs in library book bindings?  Hey, we may publish that. Guardian

Pace University has commented on shutting down the Henry Birnbaum Library due to bedbugs, saying, "Yep, we got bedbugs." gothamist

Self-published wunderkind author Amanda Hocking is moving into the world of graphic novels with Dynamite Entertainment.  Write on, ya crazy kid!  PublishersWeekly

Children's book illustrator Sophie Blackall has created a book based on Craigslist's "Missed Connections" section.  "You were in red, I had a gimp mask on.  We were on the subway and you really creeped me out by asking if I wanted to pose nude for the delight of children.  I still do." NYDailyNews

Toronto library staff have proposed to cut staff and hours in an effort to appease Mayor Rob Ford's requests that budgets be trimmed.  Next, Toronto police will buy their own bullets and gas and teachers will... hell, teachers got nothing either.  citytv

Monday, October 3, 2011

Longmont Library Budgeting for Bedbugs: An Alliteration

After upholstered library benches became breading sites for bedbugs, the Longmont Library in Colorado has had enough with comfortable seating.  The library plans to budget $5,000 for wooden benches this year and more money down the line.  TimesCall

You know what we did back in my day when bedbugs came after us?  Wicker.  And I do not mean that goofy furniture stuff you get from IKEA or whatever.  I mean as in Wicker Man, the original, non-bee style.  Burn that mother down, smiting all the godless bugs back to the hell from which they sprang.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Back in the Saddle, All the News I Missed in One Go

PhotoshopEssentials
So the Banned Library took a little vacation and look at what you folks did.  Calendars, ebook crap, Amazon and that damn Kindle, even Harry ma-fuckin Potter got in on the action.  Well, here we go with the best random sentences I could cobble together in my one non-alcohol infused hallucination.  So hit the jump and follow the pink elephant into the marshmallow pool!

Because it works so well with firemen, the men of the library started a little calendar to show off their cataloging butts for charity.  Nothing like living out that Full Monty fantasy, right fellas?  LATimes

Pottermore, the Harry Potter site, announced that they will not be releasing Harry Potter ebooks until early 2012.  I guess I will have to go back to the pdf scans a 14 year old made and torrented two years ago.  ABCNews

The Amazon ebook "Reamde" by Neal Stephenson came under fire when first it was said to be full of typos and errors, and upon re-release Amazon labeled the ebook as having corrected "missing content."  Amazon had no comment when we pretended to call them on our hand because of our next story.  ChristianScienceMonitor

Amazon officially announced their color Kindle, the "Amazon Fire."  Hilariously, you could equate this to the burning of the amazon jungle to allow for grazing land for cattle.  In this joke, cattle are people.  Amazon via Geekologie

President Obama has set forth legislation that will allow states to opt out of the controversial "No Child Left Behind" program.  I do not have a joke, I just wanted you all to know.  CNN

This article was titled "Books on the Banned Wagon."  That is the single best article title in Banned Books week ever.  hindustantimes

New York librarians can rest easy again knowing that the nightmare book thief has been caught and prosecuted.  With this one problem gone, the library can concentrate on who keeps leaving stinky in the men's restroom.  New York Post

Two, count them, two libraries were infested with bedbugs this week.  The Vancouver area library found bedbugs in their shelves and furniture, as did an Arizona library.  VancouverSun and AZCentral

The Lowell City Council in Massachusetts has voted to ban sex offenders from being at the library during times when children are present.  So remember, get arrested for a sex related crime and you are not allowed into Summer Reading.  BostonHerald

Freaked out, the California State University library was evacuated searched after a patron indicated he had a gun.  The man was found and slapped around like the stupid red-headed stepchild he was.  WashingtonPost

The e-reader app Kobo now allows your friends to see what you are reading and when you are reading it by posting automatic notices.  Your mother wants to know why you would read all that smut.  Your best friend thinks you are gay for Percy Jackson.  Your girlfriend wants to know who "Jane Eyre" is and if she is prettier.  Thanks, Kobo.  USAToday

The Dead Sea Scrolls are gonna be online.  We can get 2000 year old parchment online, but not fucking Harry Potter?  Youtube via BoingBoing