San Francisco Library might extend their hours. When asked, library directors said "To hell with 60 minutes, we can do the same level of service with 75 minute hours." The board of directors dodged questions pertaining to salary increases to hourly workers.
UW libraries say the bedbugs have flea-ed. Get it? Fleas? It's a Chili Peppers reference! Whatever, you people aren't cool. Goddamn bedbugs.
In a staggering feat of reporting, the Chicago Tribune says the Niles Public Library is getting a $5.5 million dollar renovation for "study and meeting space, use technology to check in and keep track of books and improve energy efficiency." Fucking technology. What will they think of next?
Arlington librarian will dress as dog if people do not sign up for library cards. City residents said, "we can make that happen."
Guys, the Emmet O'Neal Library book sale dates have been released! Wine and cheese will be served and the shit is gonna be tight. Pack a bag, motherfuckers!
Controversial drawing in Newark Library uncovered from the zebra print cloth that had been draping it. The drawing, depicting controversial racial and sexual tones was found to be better than a giant zebra print cloth.
COLUMBUS LIBRARY TO PURCHASE DEAF SCHOOL.
Huntington Beach homeless organization has 60 days to leave library. The organization thinks it has a brother with a couch he can sleep on.
Two books banned from Denver middle school after student gets hold of them. Cause, yeah, shit, we can not have the kids reading books that would challenge and broaden their minds. Let's just pretend bad things do not happen and everything is supposed to be okay and nobody will freak out when they realize the world is a scary and frighting place rather than the candy coated dreamland you want them to think it is.
Buy some Kellog's and Scholastic will give you cheap ass books. Here's how you do it:
(The Banned Library does not recommend you do any of the above.)
UW libraries say the bedbugs have flea-ed. Get it? Fleas? It's a Chili Peppers reference! Whatever, you people aren't cool. Goddamn bedbugs.
In a staggering feat of reporting, the Chicago Tribune says the Niles Public Library is getting a $5.5 million dollar renovation for "study and meeting space, use technology to check in and keep track of books and improve energy efficiency." Fucking technology. What will they think of next?
Arlington librarian will dress as dog if people do not sign up for library cards. City residents said, "we can make that happen."
Guys, the Emmet O'Neal Library book sale dates have been released! Wine and cheese will be served and the shit is gonna be tight. Pack a bag, motherfuckers!
Controversial drawing in Newark Library uncovered from the zebra print cloth that had been draping it. The drawing, depicting controversial racial and sexual tones was found to be better than a giant zebra print cloth.
COLUMBUS LIBRARY TO PURCHASE DEAF SCHOOL.
Huntington Beach homeless organization has 60 days to leave library. The organization thinks it has a brother with a couch he can sleep on.
Two books banned from Denver middle school after student gets hold of them. Cause, yeah, shit, we can not have the kids reading books that would challenge and broaden their minds. Let's just pretend bad things do not happen and everything is supposed to be okay and nobody will freak out when they realize the world is a scary and frighting place rather than the candy coated dreamland you want them to think it is.
Buy some Kellog's and Scholastic will give you cheap ass books. Here's how you do it:
- Go to the grocery store
- Get any two Kellog's products
- Tear off the proof of purchase right there in the aisle.
- Put them in your pocket and attempt to hide the items on the shelf. Make sure Dave does not see you.
- Buy some grapes and a hot pocket, the food of the innocent.
- On your way out, wave the proofs of purchase in the air and yell, "I'm gonna be rich"
- Run from security.
- Go to the library to throw off the cops trail.
- Access the public access computers.
- Yell at the librarian when he/she can not remember your password.
- Show the librarian your proof of purchases and your grapes.
- Eat grapes in computer lab. Spit seeds behind computer for the computers nutrition.
- Tape the proofs of purchase to the computer screen.
- Eat the hot pocket cold. Leave wrapper and heat sleeve under computer table as compost.
- Take the "spacebar" key off the keyboard and tape it to the monitor.
- Proclaim "fuck this," make a lewd comment to the librarian (male or female) and go home.
- Watch something about housewives and sleep fat dumb sleep.
(The Banned Library does not recommend you do any of the above.)