Kelly Clarkson Haunted By Jane Austen? No, Probably Not.

"Kelly Clarkson has been banned from taking a $243,000 ring once owned by Jane Austen out of Britain after it was deemed a "national treasure"."

If I were her, I would touch my own boobs a lot.  But I am not (I am placing bets she does not have my concern for breast cancer), so I can only conjecture why she would want to take Jane Austen's ring.  My conclusion?

Kelly Clarkson is possessed by the spirit of Jane Austen.  Austen just wants her ring back, and the best way to do that would be through a random celebrity.  Thank goodness the Brits know enough about haunting to know if she gets that ring back, Austen will rise back to full power and stopped her ass cold.  Gettum, England.

It's Halloween, this is the time this kinda stuff happens.  Just watch "From Justin to Kelly," you will see how far this shit goes.

Also, if you click this link for the real article, she's wearing a Def Leopard shirt.  She tough.
Kelly Clarkson Banned From Taking Jane Austen Ring Out Of Britain - Starpulse.com

Brooklyn Public Library Will Publish Your Book

The Brooklyn Public Library has a new machine called the Espresso Book Machine that will allow patrons to publish their own ebooks as actual print books.  The process takes about four to five minutes and costs something or nothing, but I'm not sure because I did not get that far in the article and that's why I link at the bottom.

Road trip!  Finally, Banned Library and the Literary Robotic Ninja Pirate War will see the light of day!  Look for it at your local place people lay things down at hoping other people will pick them up this winter or when ever I can find the time to drive 2,000 miles.  Here's a blurb from the cover of my 4,235 page opus:

In a world where lawlessness and disorder are seen as a bad things, the Banned Library stands tall.  Enter Yumi Longbeard, recent graduate of the Banned County Polytechnic and Library School.  She will serve as the children's librarian to clean up these mean stacks while working to unite the pirate and ninja clans that infest the streets.  Oh, yeah, did we mention she's the love child of a pirate and a ninja? Hell yeah, she is.


"Best book I have ever read" - William Shakespeare
"If I had read this, Pride and Prejudice would have been totally different" - Jane Austen


Print your own books at the Brooklyn Public Library - New York Daily News