"Kelly Clarkson has been banned from taking a $243,000 ring once owned by Jane Austen out of Britain after it was deemed a "national treasure"."
If I were her, I would touch my own boobs a lot. But I am not (I am placing bets she does not have my concern for breast cancer), so I can only conjecture why she would want to take Jane Austen's ring. My conclusion?
Kelly Clarkson is possessed by the spirit of Jane Austen. Austen just wants her ring back, and the best way to do that would be through a random celebrity. Thank goodness the Brits know enough about haunting to know if she gets that ring back, Austen will rise back to full power and stopped her ass cold. Gettum, England.
It's Halloween, this is the time this kinda stuff happens. Just watch "From Justin to Kelly," you will see how far this shit goes.
Also, if you click this link for the real article, she's wearing a Def Leopard shirt. She tough.
Kelly Clarkson Banned From Taking Jane Austen Ring Out Of Britain - Starpulse.com