5 Ways (You Did Not Think Of) That eBooks Are Different From pBooks

Forget it, he's rolling.

eBooks have a long and glorious history of publication going all the way back to Benjamin Franklin writing the Magna Carta Kindle Edition on a speedboat while dodging German Uboats in Pearl Harbor.  This history has often been at war with the modern "book," first invented and made popular a few years ago by Steve Gutenberg making up his own Bible and distributing it through Martin Luther King to the people of Constantinople.  Now, I may be on cold medicine, but you people should listen to me and the fascinating facts I uncovered.

So here we go again with another freakin article about eBooks.*  But this one is different, I swear.**    This article will attempt to compare and contrast all the reasons that eBooks are different from pBooks***.

Hit the jump and find out what all those mysterious asterisks footnotes were all about.

Harder to Burn 

Wonder if... Nah, too ironic 

Oh, remember those golden days sitting by a winter fire, Ma turning the spit of roasting boar while Da threw on a copy of Dostoevsky to warm both you and your brother who, turns out, had already died of the consumption?  Neither do I.  That would be pretty messed up.  Throwing a book in a fire.  Man, who would do such a thing?  Good thing you can not do that to an eBook.  I mean you could, but your whole library would go up and what would that do? Waste about $150, that is what.

Harder to Lose
Have you ever tried to put down a really good book?  How about lose a really bad one?  Now, I do not mean leaving a copy of Jane Austen in a friend's dorm room.  I am talking about throwing a copy of Twilight off the Golden Gate Bridge just to see if that sparkly dude can float like the witches of yore.  Can not do that with an eBook, not without wasting some serious cashola like we did when we tried to burn it.  Of course, it may be worth it if you had the whole Meyer set on the eReader... Even then, the damn services sell things "in the cloud" now, so it would just come back when you bought another reader.

Harder to Hit (Someone, Anyone)
This point is all about perspective.  If you are trying not to get hit, you better believe it is better if someone has an eBook handy.  Unless I guess they break open an eReader and stab you with the jaged plastic, but that is not really the eBook now is it?  Nope, when you want to really go to town on someone, do you want a Phone eBook, or a good old fashioned Yellow Pages?  I let my fingers do the walking and get that money out of him/her anyway I can, cause I like to save money.  Did you know they will just give you a phone book?

Harder to Ban

Have you ever tried to ban a paper book?  Then you know how easy it is.  All one has to do is pick up the lump of pulp, yell "Banned" and throw it out the nearest window.  Voila!  That book is banned.  eBooks are so much harder to do that with, though.  You have to go to a computer, unplug the thing, uncouple the other thing, lift up the heavy thing, then yell "Banned" and throw it out the nearest window.  Then you have to do that for at least 3 more items before the whole thing is gone.  Just too hard.


Harder to Sculpt
Just do a search for book sculptures.  You can not sculpt with an eBook.

From artist Su Blackwell.  Check out more of her amazing work!

*Hah!  I AM self aware, take that ex-girlfriend Linda!
** Yeah, I know I have said that before, but this time I mean it.
*** Print Books, pBooks trademark Banned Library Productions (pending)

I... I Give Up: Farmville for Dummies

Yep, I give up.  Both as a librarian and as a reader and as an author and ... hell, I just give up.

This guy does better commentary.