There is a monster in the library. The monster can range from two inches to seven feet tall, spreads like mad, and has a curious sound reported to be "munching or paper rustling, I dunno kinda like a garbage truck with a hemorroid." I am talking about food in the library.The following are some of my favorite excuses for food being in the library:
"This is my birthday cake" (it was a two foot by three foot strawberry long cake)
"My blood sugar's low" (a bucket of fried chicken)
"If my son doesn't eat, he gets hyper" (bag of potato chips ground into the carpet)
"But it's diet" (can of soda)
"It's okay, they are communion wafers" (they were, whole bag of them)
"I am checking out movies!" (bag of cheddar cheese popcorn)
"They have bunches of vitamins!" (whole raw carrots)
"But they sell it next door" (venti mocha latte with low fat foam and a dash of cinnamon)
"Because it was here and I am a termite" (wood)
"I am a mouse" (random crumbs)
"I am a snake" (mouse)