Proctor and Gamble At the Library, Didn't They Used to Be Into Satanism?

"The Pittston Memorial Library’s Cosgrove Capital Campaign recently received a boost by way of a $5,000 grant from Procter & Gamble. P & G Paper Products Public Relations Manager Alex Fried presented the grant check which will be used for expansion of the library. The company also donated 10 desktop and laptop computers to the library."

Library gets boost from P & G - The Sunday Dispatch

Remember that rumor years ago that P & G was in league with the dark powers?  Oh how we forget, just because we got technology and people decided to do actual research rather than dwell on rumor.  (I'm looking at you, Christian boycotters of old.) 

Anyway, how would the devil invade society?  Donations of money and computers seem like a good start.  Look out Pittston Memorial, first there's the pretty gifts, then they want you to do a favor.  They will not know when, or where, but at some point they will come to you and ask you to discard a book in the dead at night. 

The devil sounds a lot like the godfather.

I'mma Let You Never Live This Down

Taylor Swift donated 14,000 books to a Nashville library this week.  Insert joke about how Kayne West interupted her donation and wanted to talk about Beyonce's baby.

Taylor Swift donates 14000 books to Nashville library - TheCelebrityCafe.com

Library News: Won't You be My Neighbor?

Oh, Hi.  It's nice to see you again.  (change out of button-up and into worn-out Megadeath t-shirt)  You know, our libraries are fascinating and wondrous places where all kinds of things can happen. (takes off shoes for more comfortable shoelessness)  Every day, something special is happening in your library, like someone looking for a job or finding a book they read as a kid. (fixes a mixed drink of whiskey, red wine and orange power drink in a goldfish bowl) Let's see what happened in our libraries this week so far, shall we? (lights the porch on fire)


The Newcastle library and art gallery have been closed down indefinitely after local officials widened security from protesters over the removal of some fig trees and other growth.  The fig trees responded by screaming silently as they were fed into a wood chipper. Silly trees. abc.net.au

Lewis Black, comedian, has been named to the honorary board of the Kurt Vonnegut Memorial Library in Indianapolis.  Black plans to help the library by fundraising through performances and such, as well as dressing in shiny boots and time traveling.  ibj.com

Governor Jerry Brown of California signed in a bill this week that will restrict public library privatization.  The bill will force companies to show they are saving the taxpayers money if they take over public services.  Taxpayers could give less of a crap as long as the paper is there in the morning and the new Nicholas Sparks book is on the shelf. mercurynews

The Folger Shakespeare Library is celebrating the 400th anniversary of the King James Bible, one of the more influential books in history.  King James was not around to comment on the widespread craziness like those weirdos in Westboro. washingtonpost

The Los Angeles County Museum of Art is in the process of moving a 340 ton boulder for an art instillation. They should hire out a company to do this, if they can prove they can do it cheaper than a bunch of museum folk, that is.  nytimes

Alec Baldwin donated around $10,000 to the Central Falls library to keep it afloat in these hard economic times.  This is a long way to go to use a library out of state. whdh

Smithsonian to Whore Out Video Game Exhibit

I'm Batman

The Smithsonian has announced that you too can be a part of their "The Art of Video Games" exhibit next year.  All you have to do to have your name or whatever displayed in the Smithsonian from March to September is give out some of that green, ya feel me?  Starting at $10, donations can be made from this page.  Your name will be taken from your billing information, unless you request different in the comments (barring anything offensive, etc.).  Smithsonian via kotaku

I do not know about you , but I really want a wall of the Smithsonian to be filled with names like "Commndr_Killer" and "Kool_Aider54".  This may be something I can try, even if there is no word yet if they allow URLs, twitter handles, or bad puns from the Simpsons.  I am going to report back as to whether or not Banned Library staff members "Pat McGroin," "Mike Roch," "Ivanna Tinkle," "I. P. Freely" or "Amanda Hugankis" are allowed on the wall.  Wish me luck!

Community in Conflict, Book Donation Business Told To Move On

Marin, CA library supporters are waging a boring war on book donation boxes placed around their city.  The book donation boxes are placed by the Thrift Recycling Management company, a for-profit venture that recycles the items.

"Of the books collected in the bins, approximately 25 percent are resold, another 25 percent are donated to nonprofits, and the rest are sold for their value as pulp, [TRM co-founder Phil] McMullin said." MarinIJ

"Friends of the Library" groups complain that the books take away donations to libraries that could be used to fund the library through book sales or replace old library copies.  TMR has been under suspicion for not being as charitable as they claim, selling most of the items instead of donating them as they claim.  Marin Independent Journal

Okay, in this corner we have people profiting from old hippie ideals about saving mother earth.  They weigh in at approximately the size of capitalism and are looking to make a buck on the feelings that people are doing good by the planet by recycling.  They have made millions.

In the other corner we have people looking to enrich their lives by saying the library can benefit from a cubic ton of old National Geographics and books that may or may not have been pooped on by a rat.  These people may or may not collect and sort the materials donated to the library, but do feel a sense of satisfaction when they vote to buy a computer or maybe that god-awful book shaped reading furniture for the children's department when they meet once a year.

Solution:  Put the bins at libraries.  Allow the library system to sort the materials it wants and give the for-profit the leftovers.  Or just let the company do what it does until the Oregon Department of Justice shuts them down for being a fake charity.  Or a five on five deathmatch, Friends VS Thrift in a winner take all pay-per-view for the fate of the county.

Flash Fiction: The Donation

I stumbled upon this little flash fiction fun at Rach Writes and decided to give it a go... here are the rules:

via Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “The door swung open” These four words will be included in the word count.

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), use the same beginning words and end with the words: "the door swung shut." (also included in the word count)


Story after the jump!

The Donation

The door swung open and an elderly woman walked into the library.

“Excuse me,” she said, “Do you take donations?”

“Yes, we do,” I said, “Although we can not say if they will be included in the collection.  More often than not we put them in the book sale to benefit the Friends of the Library.”

“Oh, that’s fine,” she said.

“Do you need help bringing them in, or a donation form for your taxes?”

“The help would be nice, they are heavy, but don’t worry about the taxes.”

As we brought the books in I noticed they were quite old but in very good condition.  

When I asked, she told me they were first editions of many American authors.

“They were my husband’s,” she said, one hand caressing the box, “They deserve more than these old eyes.”

I asked her to wait so I could get the director who could thank her in person for her generous donation.  She said she would, but her voice broke as she stroked the box.  

When we returned she had left.  Only the pile of books remained.  She had taken the box.  

We could just see her outline as the door swung shut.

Author Bruce Larkin Gives Buttload of Books to Schools

Bruce Larkin is set to unload tons of paper onto Pennsylvania schools.  Larkin, author of around 900 kids books, is using his publishing company Wilbooks, Inc. to donate nearly 10,000 local interest books to a school system.

I would love to be able to do that, but only if I could do it loose and at once.  "Hey, kids, it's your Uncle Banned!"  Then "Boom!," a plane lets loose a ton of books from three miles up onto the school roof.  How do I get the plane that far up with that much load dropping that accurately?  Magic.

Click here for full details about this awesome dude

Best Nation in the World? Donation

Alec Robinovitz started a small effort to donate books to his local children's hospital a few years back.  As he waited to find out about his sick sister, he found he had nothing to do in the waiting room.  So he got some books and gave him to the hospital.  This effort has grown into nearly 10,000 books being donated to the cause, from friends, family, strangers and authors.  

I have endorsed my charity of choice and before this holiday season is out, I will do so again.  And again.  Why?  Because.  That's why.  There need be no reason.  As we move into the holidays, the best of us can lose that "holiday spirit" crap that Hollywood and special episodes lead us to believe is out there.  So do not think about that.  Donate something to a cause that makes this crapshack world a little better, even if it is a little time for your fellow man.  Hell, just put on a smile and hold the door open for someone.  Don't cost nothing.

Click here to learn how little Alec is making little kids smile.