Author Bruce Larkin Gives Buttload of Books to Schools

Bruce Larkin is set to unload tons of paper onto Pennsylvania schools.  Larkin, author of around 900 kids books, is using his publishing company Wilbooks, Inc. to donate nearly 10,000 local interest books to a school system.

I would love to be able to do that, but only if I could do it loose and at once.  "Hey, kids, it's your Uncle Banned!"  Then "Boom!," a plane lets loose a ton of books from three miles up onto the school roof.  How do I get the plane that far up with that much load dropping that accurately?  Magic.

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Hawaii Schools Lack Librarians, Where Do I Sign Up?

According to the Star Advertiser, about 16 percent of Hawaii's public schools are without a librarian, despite the fact that all have a functioning library.  Okay, I will bite the bullet and go to Hawaii.  I knew it would come to this.  I knew that this day would come and I would have to stand up and deliver myself into the belly of the beast, the end of the earth, the land of palm and fire.

 

Truly, this is hell on earth.

I once heard Christopher Moore say (and I am paraphrasing), "Living in Hawaii is like dating a supermodel.  After a while you just want conversation."  Well, I am willing to dive into the Hawaiian Hades if I never again have the type of daily conversations that suck out my soul.  While I have never been to Hawaii, I would gladly throw myself on this tropical grenade.

I know now what this calling of the librarian, a call that sounds suspiciously like the the pages of a book rustling, would lead me to uncharted disasters in need of relief.  If we can help but one library, one class of surfer dudes, just one hula dancer, then my sacrifice would have not been in vain.  May God have mercy on my well tanned soul.  

Image from here