7 Jackasses That Lead To the Demise of Modern Libraries

A recent article pointed out that the academic library is no more.  It has passed on.  Ceased to be.  Libraries have expired.  Bereft of life, they rest in peace. Their metabolic processes are now history, kicked the bucket, shuffled off their mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible. THIS IS AN EX-CAREER!

So sad.  But we as librarians should have seen this coming.  History tried to tell us this was the way, but somewhat ironically for those that chronicle history, we did not not listen.  Hell, history even tried to halt these psychos all together by stopping their immortality, but librarians did not see until it was too late.

Hit the jump to see the one's who doomed us all.

1.  Ptolemy (I, 323–283 BC; II, 283–246 BC)
With the creation of the Library of Alexandria, this guy (or his son) stole knowledge from the scholars and merchants of the time and decided all on his own to place it in one of the greatest depositories of knowledge of all time.  The notion of collecting information has never really been a new concept, but this grand, government-sponsored project spelled the beginning of the end for the modern library.

2.  Johannes Gutenberg (1398-1468)
With the creation of his "moveable type," Gutenberg (no relation) took the power of the written word away from the rich and the clergy and put it in dirty, lower-class hands of the poor.  This mass production of books created cheaper and more quickly-made reading materials, spreading information faster than ever before.  Somebody should have kindled a fire underneath him.

3.  Charles Cutter (1837-1903)
Oh, here's a rich one.  Charlie Cut here decided that the library was too haphazard a place and started just lumping things together into a formula that would be used to form the Library of Congress cataloging system.  Then, he took over a little public library and, like the Zach Morris of his day, he started in on silly schemes such as creating early bookmobiles, theorizing inter-library loan systems, and letting the public roam free in the stacks.  He even wrote a little article where he predicted the OPAC. If he had had his way, he would have a "Max" in every lobby, too.

4.  Melvil Dewey (1851-1931)
From the ashes of a goofy name comes Melvil Dewey, or "The Dew" as the girls called him.  This micromanaging ball of fun formed not only a more simple way to subjugate knowledge to human control but the idea of an association of information professionals that could standardize information management procedures.  Oh, he didn't do all that on his own, Charlie Cut up there helped, but he's the one with his name on the system.

5.  S. R. Ranganathan (1892-1972)
This high-horse mounted dude formed the Five Laws of librarianship and proposed collecting library materials into environments designed to make information more accessible.  This brainwashing of his colleagues spawned the "user friendly" era of thought throughout librarian brain-sponges everywhere.  "Every book, its reader" indeed.

6.  Alan Turning (1912-1954)
Are there more well known names in computer science? Maybe.  But this is the guy that theorized that machines could organize and collect information on massive levels, even do so by themselves, allowing for more complex information management through complex machines.  This is the architect of computer science, the Duke of Databases, the King of Kilobytes.  Turning is the reason our overlords might like us one day, then kill us because they cannot find their Father.

7.  Steve Jobs (1955-2011)
Are there more well known names in computer science?  No.  Just N-O.  Co-founder of Apple computers and the guy that opened up the world to the idea that not only could machines be used in the patron's homes to access and create information, but that it could be done in a simple and user friendly environment on cheap machines.  Jobs is what would happen if Cutter took Ranganathan and Turning and played "Will it Blend?" with their mind sponges.

There they are, seven jackasses that taught humanity that they could store all their knowledge in an automated environment that was well organized and accessible to all.  Oh, there are more jackasses of information out there being celebrated and stuff, but these bastards of bookishness should have been stopped before they got going.  Then I would not have to think about getting an IT degree along with this MLIS.

Chronicle.com via LISNews

Librarian of Congress In It To Win It

82-year-old James Billington, the 13th Librarian of Congress, has no plans to retire soon.  The forward thinking national librarian has been in the position since 1987, working on materials and libraries in charged political climates from the fall of Soviet Russia to the upheaval in several Arab nations.  He talked recently with The Hill about his career.

“I have no plans at this point — sorry to disappoint you... The Lord’s been very kind, and I’m in the middle of a lot of interesting things. And of course, it’s a time when all cultural institutions are facing lots of challenges... At my age and in this position, my job is to see that as much of what is valuable and important for the United States has a chance to survive in this difficult economic climate, that it has a chance to contribute to a knowledge-based democracy and its place in the world.” thehill

Well, I thank him for his service and his unwillingness to retire, setting a trend across the nation for other librarians to do the same.  I kid.  I also am looking for further employment, but could not imagine doing Mr. Billington's job with a 10-foot-pole.  Do you think he knows something about the social security program that we don't?

Video Game Pioneer Gerald Lawson Passes Away

Gerald A. Lawson, the man credited with creating interchangeable video game cartridges, died at 70 from complications to diabetes.  Lawson, while leading the video game division at Fairchild Semiconductor in 1976, developed the Fairchild Channel F, the first video game console that allowed for removable cartridge video games.  This new system revolutionized the concept of home video games, as up until that point each device sold contained only one game, much like an arcade machine.

So, let me get this straight, this guy helped create the idea of home gaming on a single console 35 years ago and I just now know his name?  I feel robbed.  That's like just finding out some guy named Henry Ford had a couple of good ideas about how automobiles should be produced.  How come this culture straight up denies the heroes of today?  Oh, yeah, let us learn about the racist old white guy and the cars he built, but not the electronics pioneers that lead the way for how we live our lives today?  Bullshit.

Think about it:  First, there were computers and rudimentary game consoles.  Then, Lawson and his team create interchangeable cartridges and companies like Atari and Nintendo ran with that.  About twenty years later, people start going to discs, like the Playstation, first CD and then DVD.  Ten years after that, we can download entire games, movies and more to our consoles, from the Xbox Live Marketplace to the apps on your iPhone.  Cloud services like Amazon's have already opened up the way for playing applications on the fly without the need of a single console.

Do you know when Mr. Gerald A. Lawson first received a pat on the back for his contributions?  Last month.  Unbelievable.

NYTimes