If Only My Bar Would Do This; Restaurant Bans Kids Under 6

Single people will dread your arrival.

McDain's Restaurant in Pennsylvania has started a new policy that will ban all children under the age of six.  The restaurant's owner, Mike "My Hero" Vuick, states that the rule is made because kids have disturbed other patrons with their loud, uncontrollable behavior. [HuffingtonPost]

At least one of my be-kidded friends said that this was "horrible" and "unconstitutional".  To be fair, another looked at her kid in his Spider-Man jammies yelling and fighting a tree at three in the afternoon, "I get it."  As a librarian, former restaurant employee, and childless dude who likes to drink without little eyes judging me, I fully agree.

In fact, I would like to push this for libraries.  No, not ban kids out right.  I would keep them in their place, the children's department.  You want kids on computers? Put computers where their books and materials are.  You want kids to not read adult materials?  Make'um stick to the area with the kid's books.  You want to use the library for serious means?  Bring a friend to watch your kid in the damn children's department.  

I may have gotten too worked up about this.  I like kids.  Just not while I'm eating, working, researching, playing Angry Birds, breathing, and/or getting my drink on. 

Another Funny Parenting Book

Holy Shit! Wait... Who is zapping who?

In another range of "Man, I Shouldn't Have Kids" News, another parenting book has come out that gives a humorous and practical look at raising those little poopmancers.  Let's Panic About Babies gives a sarcastic and sometimes hilarious look at what's going on after you get it on without getting a condom on.

Anyway, here's a few titles I came up with if anyone else is thinking about writing a children's book:

"Tell Your Friends to Go the Fuck Home"
"Kids Really Are Bastards, Huh?"
"Fuck My Kids, I'm Drunk"
"TV'll Raise 'Em"

Coloring Book Drug Smugglin': Takes Me Back to Preschool

That ain't yellow dye #5

Three inmates and two civilians are facing charges when it was found they were smuggling the drug Suboxone  pasted onto coloring book pages into the Cape May County Correctional Center.  After following a tip, officers began scanning the jail's mail until they found the coloring pages.  

Kinda puts all those kids running around the Children's Department into perspective, huh?  Remember, the next time a toddler gives you a drawing outside the lines, you get that down to the boys in the crime lab, STAT.  Or I guess you could lick the paper and see if you catch a buzz.  More likely you will catch flu, but whatevs.  That's the price you pay for fast livin'.  Remember, what happens in the play area, stays in the play area.

MSNBC via Geekologie