Tax Season Got a Whole Lot More Interesting

Dat ain't my income tax...

How do you really mess with not just poor people but old people, too?  Try to fundamentally change anything.  How do you do that more effectively?  Change the taxes.  Hooooeeeeleeeeee Sheeeeeet!  This is the best tax season ever!

Here are two accounts, one from Library Journal and one from Tales from Library Land, about how the whole situation has gone down.  Personally, I am relatively young for my profession and in the 14ish years I have paid taxes I have never once done it with paper.  I either paid someone to do it or did it online.  Or just called it a wash when they raised the taxes on booze.  College was fun.

Anyway, this year Uncle Sam just stopped with all that "free paper" nonsense.  Those who started doing their taxes with a rock and chisel freaked out when they realized they had to do them on the space calculator now.  Those who could not afford to have someone else do it for them freaked out when they realized this may cut down on their Farmville time on the library's computer.  Then to top it all off, the damn forms were not sent out on time.  And who does the government, public and neighboring planets look at to solve this problem?  The freaking libraries.  This in a time when the government is cutting funding and grant money for libraries.  Oh, I got nothing to say on that, my hands do not type that fast and I am too mad.  I have the utmost respect for our president, but his budget cuts are ridiculous.  I would say more, but I am not dealing with the Secret Service again this year.  Fucking taxes.

NY Times' Slow Decent to Skynet

 The New York Times Best Seller list for the first time was graced by ebooks, some random blog I found reports.  The revolution is here, people.  First the machines published the nytimes.com.  Then, they begin to convince the New York freaking Times that it no longer needs paper sometime in the future.  Now they worm their way into the infrastructure of this great bastion of hope and justice to create their own lists of books that only machines can read!  Where will it end?  Robo-reporter?  Did we skip the cops all together?  I want my Robocop!

I may need perspective on this.

eBooks May Kill the Environment: Not!

Ah, I'm choking on Stephen King!

Back in the day (2009), the publishing industry sat around and said, "Hey, by 2020 let's let the planet breathe better."  And people said, "Shit, yeah."  Now here comes eBooks to mess that all the hell up.

As reported by triplepundit (Even I don't know where I get this crap), ebook devices leave a larger carbon imprint than paper books of upwards to bunches of percents.  As much as this is counter intuitive, it does make some sense, however the article forgot one thing.  Yeah, the Ipad is worth about 32.4 books in a landfill.  That sounds like a lot.  But if you consider that most people actually reading on an Ipad in a landfill will read a hella lot more than 32.4 books in that devices lifetime.  These people are so dedicated to reading that they are doing it on an Ipad!  That takes a massive amount of book scarfing.  Think of all those cheesy romance novels that will not have to be printed when people find out they can just download them and hide the shame of carrying them around.

Google Vs Apple Publishing: Let's Get It On!

The goo vs the i: how do we contain the rage?

Google announced today that they will attempt to undercut Apple's publishing contract by 20%.  At least that's what I got from this article in USA Today.  The Internet giant is poising to face off against the computer giant in a war of the publishing rights price points.  Apple, currently taking about 30% from publishers on their App Store, can kiss my butt if they think they are getting any more of my money.  Google announced that the program "One Pass" will take about 10% of from publishers, a move that I think is great because they have given me lots of cool toys over the years and never really asked for money.  Add to that their Android market does not tell me what is good for me and the devices I paid good money for and I think I have a hat for this ring.

Who will win this War of Fruity Aggression?  Only time will tell.

Grammy's, VD Day, and Sleep Deprivation: Nothing is Connected

Nothing says love like sleep.

Today everyone else on the Innernets is going off about the Grammy's and Valentines.  Honestly, I could give a shit about either, both because I am really tired of looking at that Beiber kid and if you can stalk someone on Facebook and not say "I <3 U" every single day, then you really should not be on Facebook at all.  That is what it is all about, folks.  

Also, I seem to have stumbled into a raging case of insomnia the likes of which I have not seen in months.  If anyone out there has some fun old timey wisdom about getting to and staying asleep, let me hear it.  To note:  I have already changed my diet, tried booze, cut caffeine for three days, and gone to bed at the same time every night.  If that boring stuff sprang to your mind, weak sauce, bro.  I am looking for the truly out there batshit "my-grandma-swore-by-batshit" kinda advise.  

P.S.  Yes I do have a valentine and she is spectacular.  Much love, Olive!

Happy Birthday Edison, Ya Thieving Bastard!

Thomas Edison was born on this day 164 years ago.  The man went down in history as the inventor of a number of notable inventions.  However, we here at Banned Library know the truth.  The man was a genius, no doubt, and hard working to boot.  But he was more of a "perfecter" and "patenter" than "inventor."  We stand full in the corner of Team Tesla on this one.  Edison was a "Wizard" much the same way the "Wizard" of Oz was, a bullshit-artist business man with deep pockets and some fancy gadgets. Of course, that's what gets you rich so take from that what you will.

Check out this post comparing the two.  Its worth the read even though it does favor Edison.

Does 'Parks and Recreation' Stereotype Librarians?

Usually when I do a search in the morning for news on libraries and librarians, I find the usual "Blah Library is Having a Bake Sale" and "Librarian Fired for Eating Child's Hotdog" etc, etc.  Today, it seems all Google News wants to let me in on is the scoop about a "crazy" librarian played by Megan Mullally on "Parks and Recreation."  I am not here to discuss the show.  I have seen a few episodes and found them delightful and worthy of the banner NBC has built for itself.  I just have nothing else to write about today except an alien book thing, but it is on Fox News so who gives a shit.  Seriously, it could be the lost sea scroll that tells Jesus was an alien, the same immortal alien that built the pyramids and I would be all, pshhh Fox News.  So I why don't we talk about this TV show.

Honestly, I am not even here to discuss whether or not 'P&R' hates librarians.  I know they are attempting to make a comedy show about city government and part of that is mocking or characterizing every department therein.  I do not blame them.  What I do blame them for is pushing the stereotype of librarians as drunken sex-crazed deviants who want to do nothing but steal children's hot dogs.  That happened once and I the librarian involved only had a small mention in a local paper.  Why can't we be known as the quiet, conservative people we are, locked away in our shells of oppression?  I miss the days when I could see my co-worker Brenda in Reference wearing a stylish bun and cardigan, not the mini-skirts, thigh-high boots and a low-cut tops that society expects, nay demands, librarians to wear.

Shame on you "P&R."  We are librarians and we demand respect.

Check out a real review by someone who watches the show here.