Woman Has to Be Rescued From Car Crashed Into Library

An 86 year-old woman crashed her car into the Tiverton, RI library, wedging the car into a stairwell and trapping herself inside.  Firefighters helped the woman free from the car and a wrecker pulled the car free.  WHDH

This reminds me of the time a woman crashed into the Banned Library.  There we were, right in the middle of Jeremy Von Breven's speech to the book club about how he continued fighting the Nazi's in Vietnam, when all of the sudden a blue Toyota came crashing through the back door.  A woman popped out and started screaming something about pregnant cheerleaders when ole Jeremy,82, freaked right the hell out.  See, it just so happened that the woman was naked from head to toe.  The war veteran had an immediate flash back and ran, peeing himself.  We found out later that while he was a war vet, he did little fighting after being nearly eaten to death by a tribe of cannibal Amazons.  Turns out he made up most of his stories just to get out of the nursing home.  The naked lady was taken home by the Bannville Police who reported to have had a very good time doing so.

Ah, memories.

Make Sure You Get Your Library's Porn Site Before I Do

The registration for the new ".xxx" (dot ex ex ex) domain has begun.  ".com's" (dot com's) dirty uncle, approved a few months ago, has begun the registration process to existing websites and known names for anywhere between $150 to $300ish.  The domain will be in general use beginning sometime next year.  BBC via Geekologie

Now, after an uncomfortable shuffle or a nervous chuckle, here's what you should be thinking:  What does this have to do with me and my library?  What would all you respectable libraries do if I owned the following addresses:  www.nypl.xxx, www.publiclibraries.xxx, www.lapl.xxx, www.hclib.xxx, and www.ipl.xxx. What would happen if I did not link them to their nice, respectable ".com" or ".org" counterparts, but instead to www.bannedlibrary.xxx, which I assure you will not be kittens sneezing.  

Your move, people with class.

Return Your Library Books In Iowa or Face Jail... YAY IOWA!!

Pictured: Wait, is that shirt tie-dye?

Christopher Anspach, 28, served 10 days in jail plus a fine for not returning library books from the Newton Public Library in Newton, Iowa.  The gentleman was given multiple chances to return the books and other materials, worth around $770, before the police were contacted.

No update as to whether he was laughed at so hard by the other inmates that he was physically blasted from his cell by the force of sound alone and further charged with escaping from jail via being a dumbass.  Return your damn library books, people!

thesmokinggun via huffpost

Mentally Disabled Man's Superman Collection Stolen

That's Gary's ASS!

Two weeks ago, a thief took off with Mike Meyer's Superman collection, including over 1,800 comics and other memorabilia.  Meyer, 48, has been living on disability and a fast food jobs since he was 23.

Meyer gets giddy recalling the première of the first Christopher Reeve "Superman" movie, which his father took him to see on Dec. 15, 1978, at the B.A.C. Cinema in Belleville. His dad died when Meyer was 20; his mom, three years later.

Meyer said mostly only his friends and family knew of his collection, but he also made the mistake once of telling someone less trustworthy: a guy named Gary whom he worked with at the Hardee's on Madison Avenue in 1991.  Read more: www.stltoday.com

Recently, "Gary" came back into Mike's life.  The smooth talker made his way into Mike's house.  Then items disappeared.  Read more at Boing Boing and Newsarama

I am not one to convict without evidence, but we must find "Gary," tar and feather the bastard, then wrap some rubber bands onto the Gateway Arch like a slingshot and shoot the son of a bitch into space.

If anyone in the St. Louis area knows anyone named "Gary," kick the shit out of them just in case.  As a comic collector, this angers me.  As a human being, this disgusts me.  Some people are just shit.

Don't Worry About the City Council, Google Might Close Your Library Down

Businesses across the nation have found themselves permanently closed due to misinformation on Google Places, Google's answer to the Yellow Pages.  Due to a "report a problem" bug, anyone can label any business found on Google Places as "closed."  If the information is not corrected, Google will place a "permanently closed" mark on the business, effectively taking the business off Google's local search. NYTimes

With all the news about libraries closing, I did not think we needed help.  This scares the crap out of me.  Think if your disgruntled patrons found out about this.  One fine on a book the "mysteriously" vanished under a car seat and you get wiped off the information super highway.  Of course, I guess it beats the tips on the Banned Library Places page: "Nonfiction is a great place to spy on chicks" and "Tell Nicki in stall #3 that you saw this tip and get $5 off a dime bag."

Flash Fiction: The Donation

I stumbled upon this little flash fiction fun at Rach Writes and decided to give it a go... here are the rules:

via Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “The door swung open” These four words will be included in the word count.

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), use the same beginning words and end with the words: "the door swung shut." (also included in the word count)


Story after the jump!

The Donation

The door swung open and an elderly woman walked into the library.

“Excuse me,” she said, “Do you take donations?”

“Yes, we do,” I said, “Although we can not say if they will be included in the collection.  More often than not we put them in the book sale to benefit the Friends of the Library.”

“Oh, that’s fine,” she said.

“Do you need help bringing them in, or a donation form for your taxes?”

“The help would be nice, they are heavy, but don’t worry about the taxes.”

As we brought the books in I noticed they were quite old but in very good condition.  

When I asked, she told me they were first editions of many American authors.

“They were my husband’s,” she said, one hand caressing the box, “They deserve more than these old eyes.”

I asked her to wait so I could get the director who could thank her in person for her generous donation.  She said she would, but her voice broke as she stroked the box.  

When we returned she had left.  Only the pile of books remained.  She had taken the box.  

We could just see her outline as the door swung shut.

Is the Dalai Lama a Religious Nut Job?

A new book is being released in America claiming the Dalai Lama, one of the most beloved fellas in recent history, is not such a great guy.  "Not So 'Zen': The Hidden Side Of The Dalai Lama" by Maxime Vivas puts forth the view that the ideas about Tibet the Dalai Lama and his followers have been putting forth are incorrect or dangerous.  Citing modern life in Tibet versus the view of an impoverished and Chinese-ruled Tibet, the book suspects that rule under a religious leader unaccustomed to leading the people of the land. xinhuanet.com

Shit, the French lady kinda has a point.  I am not saying either side is right, but... I cringe in thinking of any religion ruling anything.  As history has pointed out to us multiple times, saving a civilization's soul and collecting its money are two different things.  There is nothing wrong with believing in an afterlife, but we all got to live in this one.