You Know You Ban Too Many Books When the Local Church Starts Teaching Them

"A free book club that will focus on critically acclaimed literature banned by the Fremont school board is scheduled to begin Wednesday night at an Irvington district church.
Since 2008, the five-member board has banned "Bastard Out of Carolina," a National Book Award nominee about a teenage girl sexually abused by her stepfather, and last year it rejected "Angels in America," a Pulitzer Prize-winning play about AIDS in the 1980s."

It may be time to rethink your schooling practices when the local churches start calling you too harsh.  Now, I can only say that from an area of the nation that had churches actively try to ban MTV when the local cable company started offering it, but still... When the church folk have to step up and tell over protective parents, "You don't have the right to decide what my child reads," it may be time to take a step back and rethink your community's belief structures.

Of course this may be a preventative measure.  If you ban one book, then all books are open to critisism, even the Bible.  And, dude, have you read that crazy shit?  Lakes of fire, killing of first born, one dude kills thousands of people with his ass jawbone or something and another guy sics some bears on kids because they heckle him.  That book is all kinds of messed up.  Not to mention all the wars it has inspired, but I'm getting off the topic.

You know you are too tough when the local "don't do that" building starts doing your job for you.

Church offering class on literature banned by Fremont school board - San Jose Mercury News

Top Ten Ways a Library Can Get a Movie Licence

"The Bradford County Library in West Burlington Township recently acquired a movie license, which is allowing it to start showing films to the public, the library's director said.
The library will be showing "family friendly" movies from its collection of DVDs, said Jeffrey Singer, library director.
As a condition of the license, the library must show the films free of charge, Singer said."

One can only wonder how the library obtained this licence (other than read the rest of the article, but who wants that responsibility?).  So here we go, the top 10 ways your library can force a movie company into letting you show their films:

10)  Offer them free books.
9)  Threaten them with violence.
8)  Threaten them with violins.
7)  Think of horrible, hacky puns and write a blog post about it.
6)  Two words: Book Ninjas.
5)  Use research skills to dig up dirt on their top executives.
4)  Just show the movies and cite free use until they buckle.
3)  Make your own movie and not let them see it.
2)  Gungam Style.
1)  Kidnap Liam Neeson.

Library acquires license to show movies - Towanda Daily Review

California Prison Libraries Get Monies

"The California State Library has awarded the Southern California Library Cooperative (SCLC) a grant for $371,000 to provide text books and recreational reading materials to California Prisons. These funds provided through the Library Services Training Act (LSTA), are being granted to support an important need - new materials and textbooks in prison libraries. The monies granted are being used to furnish textbooks to three California prisons. These include adult prisons San Quentin and Ironwood and juvenile prison, the Ventura Youth Correctional Facility. Recreational reading materials are being sent to all California prisons."

Remember that scene in Shawshank Redemption where the prisoner's are unpacking the books and that one guy calls "Dumas" "Dumb Ass?"  Me, too.  That was funny.  That's about all I got here.  Go prison education!  Now if we can only fund those prison football teams.

Also, how bad ass is it there's a prison called "Ironwood?"  That's Tolkien/Martin naming right there, buddy.

California State Library grant provides books for California prisons

Learn To Be a Zombie at the Cumberland County Library

"Melissa Lang, as the assistant youth services coordinator for the Cumberland County Library system, developed a program last year to teach teens how to apply their own zombie makeup in time for Halloween and the annual downtown Zombie Walk."

Well, well.  Two stories in one day featuring librarians exhibiting talents and bringing them into the library.  The first guy just sang, this lady creates frickin' zombies.  What's next?  Librarian Frankenstein, that's what.  Some book pusher out there dabbles in anatomy/physiology and is dreaming up a way to reanimate the dead so he can recreate that scene from Young Frankenstein where he and his abomination put on the Ritz.  Well, I got news for you, you depraved seeker of the secrets beyond life:  The community ain't gonna put up with that shit.  No, sir.  They are gonna show up at your library's front door with pitchforks and torches and they will not be there to burn books.  They gonna burn you and your hell spawn.  Think about that before you act.

I like how in my delusion Librarian Frankenstein reads this blog.

Cumberland County Library system offering zombie makeup workshop - Fayetteville Observer

Students Mapping a Pleasant Home

"Twelve students in a physical documentation class at the School of the Art Institute are finishing a job started 12 years ago to draw elements of the George Washington Maher-designed Pleasant Home in Oak Park for a historic survey in the Library of Congress."

This is not an ongoing project.  Apparently 12 years ago, the students that started the project did a subpar (e.g. sucky) job, so these kids are going back and playing cleanup.  I wonder who noticed?  What librarian in the LoC opened the drawer for these architectural representations probably done in crayon and said, "Well, this will not do..."

But back to the one's working on the project now.  How close are they watching these kids?  What if one of them went rogue?  Started drawing pentagrams into every stained glass window, signing "GWM Wuz Here" on random parts of the floor plan?  I would love if one of them tried to plant Da Vinci Code type riddles into the floor plans, things that spelled out "Drink more ovaltine" or some such.  That would be fun.

Pleasant Home to be added to Library of Congress historic survey - Chicago Tribune

Soon to be Queen-in-law Publishing Book

Pippa Middleton, sister of Kate Middleton of England, is set to publish a book on party planning or something called "Celebrate."  Here's something from that where she talks about her fame:

“One day I might be able to make sense of this. In the meantime I think it’s fair to say that it has its upside and its downside,” she writes in the book, according to an excerpt published by You Magazine. "I certainly have opportunities many can only dream of – but in most ways I’m a typical girl in her 20s trying to forge a career and represent herself in what can sometimes seem rather strange circumstances. I am by nature an optimist so I tend to concentrate on the advantages. One of the most attractive has been the chance to publish [this book] Celebrate.”

Strange circumstances?  Yeah, I guess.  Understatement much.  Hell, my own sister is getting married soon and I'm not getting a book deal out of it.  Of course, nobody says much at all about my posterior so there's at least that.

I am happy at least this book may have a modicum of use versus those of American royalty of The Jersey Shore or Paris Hilton, but man... I just... I wonder if the book tells what she got Kate as a wedding gift.  What do you get for that?  Do you think their bachlorette party was as annoying as those I once waited tables for?  Seriously, ladies, what the hell happens to you when you organize those things?  I'm off topic, but whatever.  Inquiring minds.

Pippa Middleton: Why am I famous? - Christian Science Monitor

You Can Still Take a Gun in Birmingham Libraries

"An effort on the part of the Baldwin Public Library to ban people from bringing guns into public library buildings is likely going nowhere.
At its July 16 meeting, the board voted to send a letter to state Sen. John Pappageorge and state Rep. Chuck Moss, asking them to consider a bill that would add libraries to the list of places that are exempt from the open carry law. That list currently includes banks, places of worship, courts, theaters, sports arenas, day care centers, hospitals and bars."

Way to keep up that Southern redneck stereotype, Alabama.

The fact that someone would even have to make a law banning firearms in the library scares the hell out of me.  What possible reason could you have for bringing a gun into the library?  I get that you have the right to bear arms, fine and good.  That's constitutional and whatever.  But people, leave your guns at home or at least in the gun rack of your pickup when you come to check out Junie B. Jones, okay?

Push for library gun ban misfires in Birmingham - Hometownlife.com