Showing posts with label i just want to go home. Show all posts
Showing posts with label i just want to go home. Show all posts

Thursday, February 3, 2011

25 Reasons to Close Down Your Library

Deluxe Librarian Action Figure
Action Figure Not Included

Sometimes you just need a day off, yet you feel you need a reason to close down, to justify the tax payers expense verses that one crazy person who might complain.  Here are 25 reasons to close down:

1.  Snow Day - tried and true, in three feet of snow no one can blame you for closing
2.  Power's Out - In the Digital Age, without power to light the monitors you may as well give up.
3.  Not Enough Staff - Even on the prettiest of days everybody else can decide not to show.
4.  Dangerous Animal Loose in Library - Two words: rabid wolverines.
5.  Bookworm Infestation - Also gives you the chance to cloth the library in a circus tent.
6.  All the Books Are Gone - Not as unlikely as you would think.
7.  National Holiday - Nothing like President's Day to sleep in.
8.  Invented National Holiday - Nothing like Day after President's Day Sale Day to sleep in.
9.  Spontaneous Holiday - Nothing like Teenager Checks Out a Classic Without Being Forced To Day
10.  Director Has a Boo Boo - Generally only works if you are the director.
11.  Ghosts - More likely to work if library was built on Indian burial ground.
12.  Simple Illness - Yep, sometimes the whole library can get the flu.
13.  Supernatural Illness - Yep, sometimes the whole town can become zombies.
14.  Apocalyptic Illness - Yep, sometimes the whole world can be decimated by plague.
15.  Stigmata - Really anything to call the church in for, but blood especially.
16.  Global Apocalypse/Rapture/Ragnarok - Think of the rush in the 200s.
17.  Internetz/Facebook/Twitter Is Down - see #16.
18.  Spontaneous Human Combustion - If people are burstin aflame in the library, no one is safe.
19.  You Must Beat the Last Boss on Halo - Gamerz 4 Lif
20.  Building Implodes Due to Indian Burial Ground - Possible consequence of fighting #11
21.  Catalog Becomes Sentient, Attempts to Catalog Staff - You are either "kill" or "be killed"
22.  Exestential Crisis Stemming from a "Print is Dead" Argument - self explanatory.
23.  Crazy Person Attacks Staff - Real tragedy is the ticket home.
24.  Exestential Crisis Stemming from a "Paul is Dead" Argument - self explanatory.
25.  You Just Wanna.