The Library of Rock!

In a move to have the loudest library ever, the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland finished construction on their new Library & Archives building.  Set to open January 2012, the building will house thousands of documents and research materials for use by scholars and folks that dig just smokin a bowl and reading about Zepplin, man.  Cue the inspiration music followed by a shusshing sound here.

Check out the Library & Archives website.  

Why am I always compelled to use the ampersand in rock & roll and library & archives?  Woah, that just blew my mind.  Turn up the Zepplin, bra.

"Mission Accomplished" Banner Safe in G-Dub's Liberry

Sorry to give this more press than it deserves, but it turns out the "Mission Accomplished" banner from all those jokes in 2003 (above) has been delivered to the "George W. (G-Dub) Bush Presidential Liberry for Books and Shit."  They do not know whether or not they will hang it.  I think they should bring it out for special occasions, like when a librarian suggests a patron use a vetted, well-researched source and the patron says, "I'll just google it."  Put that in your "child left behind" and smoke it.  MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!  

Here's the full story

GWB Pres Liberry: Knowledge Just Rolled in its Grave

Lady Hit by Shovel In Stomach, Pile of Dirt Holding a Shovel, Sell-out, and Dick Cheney (cause that's enough of an insult, plus I could not think of a good grave digging joke)

Yep, he's got a library.  Just cause some morons could not figure out how to vote properly.  Some small made-up ideas about what this library is gonna be like:

1)  Total Children's section of his favorite coloring books.  Collection of already colored pages to be archived, as well as a special section where he stayed "in the lines."
2)  Complete vacation guide section to Texas.
3)  Basement to have insulated levee system to prevent flooding.
4)  Presidential Speak-and-Spell
5)  Complete presidential papers.  As well as bongs, pipes, flasks, and commemorative spring break cups.

Let me know if you hear of some made-up exhibits in the library.

Here's the real NY Times story.

Child's Play: My Favorite Charity

I am not going to say this is the best charity in the entire world.  What I am going to say is that Child's Play, created by the webcomic geniuses Penny Arcade, is a worthwhile use of your attention and money.  Listed as a chance for gamers to give back, the charity raises money and materials for children's hospitals around the world.  It is okay if you think video games are spawned from the devil's groin, everyone can donate.  Hell, if you do not trust the hellions over at Penny Arcade with your money, that is fine.  In conjunction with hospitals around the world, Penny Arcade has set up wish lists over at Amazon.com.  That way you can donate directly to the hospital if that is your bag.

As librarians, we give a lot, if not all, of our time helping.  If you feel that is enough charity, I will back you everyday of the week.  And if you already donate your money or time somewhere, bless you as you are better than I will ever be.  But if you feel like making a few kids happy, throw out some money for a book, DVD or video game to a kid's hospital.

Also, know that Child's Play is a nonprofit organization.  I have not received any money, nor will I receive any money for this posting from Child's Play charity.  I support this charity of my own free will and have not been taken over by said organization as a ploy to integrate myself into the library community.  As if galactic space monkey fruit fuckers were that smart.

Learn About Pedophilia in the Amazon

This week in book news: Amazon, the online retail site, came under fire for selling a self published book that gives advice about pedophilia.  

Yep, quality control is in effect!

We here at Banned Library renounce pedophilia and all its forms, but this is kinda funny.  I can only figure that Amazon saw this as some type of satire akin to "Modest Proposal", but the real truth is probably they will let any crackpot with a bit of money sell stuff on their site.  How has Ebay escaped this type of scrutiny?  It also proves all that we have said about self publishers and keeping them far away from your library.  Anyone can self publish, which makes possible our new book, "Banned Library and the Temple of the Monkey Ninja Farmers," available at an Amazon near you.

Click here for more newsy type coverage

San Antonio Smith and the Closet of Stuff

A circus museum under construction unearths a closet of treasures.  Yeah, I thought it sounded like a pretty good story, too, but turns out history comes alive.  When construction crews at the Hertzberg Circus Museum opened a third floor closet, they found multiple World War II posters, original Civil War photos, and a King James Bible from 1615.  I do not know about you fellas, but I am taking a sledgehammer to my library as we speak.

Click here to check out the original article and some video.

Networking the Library

Libraries have been facing the idea of social networking for a while.  Facebook, Twitter, etc, have given fantastic methods of reaching out to our users, but I argue that they are hindering society and by extention, libraries.  Here we go:

The other night I sat down to watch an American classic:  Hot Tub Time Machine.  Whatever the overall opinion history will give to this masterpiece of cinema, one scene stood out that rang true to the state of our nation, if not the future of the world.  One of our heroes, a modern teenager thrust into the stone age that was the 1980s, meets a girl in a bar.  He asks her for her text number, if she's online.  She looks at him like he is the broken man-child that he is and tells him that she does not know what he is talking about.  He asks how he is supposed to get in touch with her.  She says, "You come find me..."

I think she's in there somewhere....

Now I like this movie, but it is stupid cannon fodder of a comedy with the exception of this scene.  As I sit, blogging, I think back on all the times I had to track a girl down, wait to see if she would show at a lame party, or hope she would walk by where I worked this Thursday cause she did last Thursday.  I will freely admit I was the kid that held out on getting a cell phone until he was 24 because I did not want to be that easy to get in touch with.  But that limited my options as well as boosted my creativity.  I was forced to track people across town or go to that random bar not because Suzy Wannamaker texted me to be there, but because I thought she said that she liked the place.  It was all about the hunt and the adventure.

How am I gonna tie this to libraries?  Hit the jump to find out.

Libraries are no longer facing the same issues I faced with Miss Wannamaker.  We do not have to go out into the community to hang fliers, march in their parades or hawk our new database/book finder/OPAC/monkey training Iphone app.  The cash spent on newspaper ads for the spring book sale and harvest festival is saved as we go on our website, type a few keys and BOOM!  Those that visit will see it bright and clear, possibly with a 10 year old dancing book gif.

Libraries should be dominating the social network machines.  As a profession we are geared to produce the fuel that runs these bloated monstrosities:  content.  Events, pictures, book recommendations, cute videos of librarian drill teams, we got it all folks.  Here are some ways you can spice up your libraries various social network pages:

Facebook
I could spend an entire post teaching all the stuff you could add to a Facebook profile.  Despite my hate for some peoples utter dependence on this service, it does offer so many diverse types of input that exploration is infinite.  Here's a few I have found:  posting links to various catalog searches or items; pictures of featured events and items; book reviews; discussion boards for books so you do not have to run a book club; cute poems about your cat;  just post a lot of stuff at least once a day, no more than 5 times a day.  I do not know why, but the Facebook crowd is fickle and will drop you if you post too little or too much.

Plus, the Library's mom could be on Facebook.

Twitter
The best thing you can do for Twitter is link it to your Facebook.  Like Facebook, posting too much or too little will lose you followers as your content clogs up their inbox feed thingie so they can not hear about there Aunt Edna's newest taco that looks like Jesus or that Ashton Kutner fella.  Some things to add to Twitter are:  comments on a book you read; links to your catalog; event postings; pics of monkey doin it; again, whatever.

He's winking because he Facebooked your mom.

Myspace
Let's be honest, Myspace is for teenagers, pervs, and bands singing about teenage pervs.  There may also be some out of touch businesses.  Just say no.

This guy's Myspace name is LadyGagaLuver69

Friendster
If you use Friendster, I pity you.  You have forgotten the name of your father.  Seriously, just tell your library staff that your computers are run by mice on treadmills while on fire chased by rabid wolverines.

I don't have a picture of the mice-treadmill-wolverine thing, so here's a puppy.

Other Social Services
Things like texting, IM, and random book reading social sites.  These may cost you some money and social status, but have fun with it and see what you can find.  The Internet's a big place so spread your metaphorical library wings, toss yourself off a metaphorical Internet cliff, and plunge into the metaphorical social ocean to eat the fish of patron satisfaction.  Or something.  Just have fun with it and remember:  for the first six months, nobody will follow you anyway.

Oh, and what was the modern kid's reaction to the beautiful 80s chick telling him he has to find her?  "That sounds exhausting."  Indeed, modern kid.  But it is worth it.