Top Ten Movies for Libraries Because That's How Many The Oscars Nominate Now 2011

This tiny gold man will up your circulation

That time of the year is upon us when a bunch of actors, directors, and movie making people tell us which movies are best at stuff in the whole wide world.  Because of this, lists are created and people pay attention to these lists and because librarians are supposed to be all "with it" and "groovy" with the "peeps," we have to pay attention to this crap, too.  

What follows is a list of movies that will be the most sought after because they are in the top 4 categories, Best Picture, Actor, Actress, and Director.  There are a host of other awards on the list, but I will only mention a couple when necessary either because the category has been split or because the only people who care about who gets the cinematography or screenplay awards already own the damn movies.  

So, here they are, the Top Ten Movies for Libraries Because That's How Many The Oscar's Nominate Now 2011, in no particular order:

 

Toy Story 3
Toy Story 3 is up for Best Moving Picture, Words on Paper, Animated Thingy, and Original Words to a Tune.  Let's face it folks, Pixar not only makes great movies as well as fodder for kids and adults.  Your patrons will not only love you, but they will tear these discs to pieces, so buy lots o' copies.

True Grit
True Grit is up for Best Moving Picture, Dude, Dudette in Background, Guy With Camera, and lots of others.  Yeah, this remake is not out yet on VHS, but you can stock up now on a couple of copies of the John Wayne version and the elderly folk will not know the difference.  Go to town pushing up your circ numbers!

King's Speech

King's Speech is up for Best Moving Picture, Dude, Dude in Background, Dudette in Background, Guy With Camera, and lots of others.  While I cannot recommend this one personally, as someone who once stuttered I am all about watching some guy who did learn not to and relive that tiny, dark closet where Speech Therapy class was.  Preorder today?

Social Network

Social Network is up for Best Moving Picture, Guy with Camera, Words on Paper, and others.  Again, I cannot say I have seen this one and therefore cannot recommend it, but the kids are all about the Facebook.  I could see the appeal, as two to three hours is about all the entertainment I can get out of Facebook.

127 Hours

127 Hours is up for Best Moving Picture, Dude, Words on Paper, Cut and Paste Movieing, and others.  See the movie even James Franco's grandma liked.  I am a bit of a wuss, but I may give this one a watch if it comes on the watching movie site thing I use on my game box / computer toy / phoney phone.  Get it for all your patrons who like hiking.

The Fighter

The Fighter is up for Best Moving Picture, Dude in Background, Dudette in Background X 2, Guy With Camera, and others.  This movie is for all those people in your library who like old Calvin Kline ads, Dark Knight, and cans of whoop-ass.  I have not seen this movie.

Inception

Inception is up for Best Moving Picture, Words on Paper, Guys with Lights, Guys with Instruments, and Guy with Photoshop.  This movie is for that guy who liked the Dark Knight and always comes in with another strange dream he just has to share.  Does he have friends?  Really, am I his friend?  That's sad...

Black Swan

Black Swan is up for Best Movie Picture, Dudette, Dude in Background, Guy with Camera, and others.  This movie is for all those patrons that really, really wanna see ballerinas suffer.  I cannot comment on the movie itself, but you know who the people who want to see it are.  Be warned.

Kids Are All Right

Kids Are All Right is up for Best Moving Picture, Dudette, and Words on Paper.  I have some idea about what this movie is about, but my mom really wants to see it sooooo..... Basically I really do not want to think about how I was conceived so I am skipping this one.  But the ladies will love it, I hear.

Winter's Bone

Winter's Bone is up for Best Moving Pictures, Dudette, Dude in Background and others.  If I wanted to watch a movie about a poor family in a bad way, I would look at your family albums.  Burrrrrnnnnnnn!  Kidding, I am sure you never had to beg for food.  

Honorable Mentions, AKA also got awards but were not good enough for best moving picture:

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows:  Like Toy Story 3, get lots of copies cause they are gonna get wrecked.  Broken, not drunk you frat boys.

Iron Man 2:  Is popular enough to already have 1,000 circulations.

Salt:  It has Angelina Jolie kicking ass.  

How to Train Your Dragon:  Not as good without the 3D, but the kids, man.  Do it for the kids.

Ebook Lending Seems Like a Thing

Ebook lending has taken the Internet by storm since our last post on the subject.  Two new sites, the verbose ebooklendinglibrary and the tease ebookfling, have opened up, both offering lending of Kindle and Nook ebooks.  This expands on the idea of creating mock friendships online so people will give you free things.  I expect Facebook will be the next to offer an app to allow you to borrow and lend ebooks to friends and family, as well as marking them "Lolz" and "gay" after you announce you are looking for literary classics to make yourself look better.

Wizard Magazine Closes Down, Geek Nation Dies A Little

RIP Wizard Magazine, 1991-2011

According to BleedingCool, Wizard Magazine has closed its print publication doors and open its doors for public trading.  After publishing in 1991, Wizard became one of the most influential magazines in comic culture for asking the burning questions such as "Who would you want to play Mogo in a Green Lantern movie?" and "How come Uatu does not come off his high horse and start kicking ass?"  As one of the first magazines to follow comic news and events much like a dog follows a car, this influential magazine will go down as the magazine many boys of my age bought to masturbate to pics of Psylocke.  

In all seriousness, I do feel a small piece of my childhood die when I read this news, much like when I heard Leslie Nielson died.  Wizard was the one of the first magazines I remember buying with my own money, along with Cracked.  I remember following the prices of my own comics at the local Books-a-million when I could not afford a copy.  Unfortunately, I was one of the many who never subscribed and began checking the internet as soon as it came along.  I understand the closure of this magazine, as little as Wizard is in the grander scheme of other giants contemplating closing their print outputs.  When the New York Times does the same, we will know the Digital Age has finally taken over.  Much as the farmers moved into cities 200 years ago, now so do readers migrate into the vast expanse of the Internet.  At least the magazine will continue on the Internetz, hopefully to flourish much in the way Cracked.com has.

Plus, in less than a week I'll be at the Wizard World New Orleans Comic Con!

Hawaii Schools Lack Librarians, Where Do I Sign Up?

According to the Star Advertiser, about 16 percent of Hawaii's public schools are without a librarian, despite the fact that all have a functioning library.  Okay, I will bite the bullet and go to Hawaii.  I knew it would come to this.  I knew that this day would come and I would have to stand up and deliver myself into the belly of the beast, the end of the earth, the land of palm and fire.

 

Truly, this is hell on earth.

I once heard Christopher Moore say (and I am paraphrasing), "Living in Hawaii is like dating a supermodel.  After a while you just want conversation."  Well, I am willing to dive into the Hawaiian Hades if I never again have the type of daily conversations that suck out my soul.  While I have never been to Hawaii, I would gladly throw myself on this tropical grenade.

I know now what this calling of the librarian, a call that sounds suspiciously like the the pages of a book rustling, would lead me to uncharted disasters in need of relief.  If we can help but one library, one class of surfer dudes, just one hula dancer, then my sacrifice would have not been in vain.  May God have mercy on my well tanned soul.  

Image from here