5 Ways (You Did Not Think Of) That eBooks Are Different From pBooks

Forget it, he's rolling.

eBooks have a long and glorious history of publication going all the way back to Benjamin Franklin writing the Magna Carta Kindle Edition on a speedboat while dodging German Uboats in Pearl Harbor.  This history has often been at war with the modern "book," first invented and made popular a few years ago by Steve Gutenberg making up his own Bible and distributing it through Martin Luther King to the people of Constantinople.  Now, I may be on cold medicine, but you people should listen to me and the fascinating facts I uncovered.

So here we go again with another freakin article about eBooks.*  But this one is different, I swear.**    This article will attempt to compare and contrast all the reasons that eBooks are different from pBooks***.

Hit the jump and find out what all those mysterious asterisks footnotes were all about.

Harder to Burn 

Wonder if... Nah, too ironic 

Oh, remember those golden days sitting by a winter fire, Ma turning the spit of roasting boar while Da threw on a copy of Dostoevsky to warm both you and your brother who, turns out, had already died of the consumption?  Neither do I.  That would be pretty messed up.  Throwing a book in a fire.  Man, who would do such a thing?  Good thing you can not do that to an eBook.  I mean you could, but your whole library would go up and what would that do? Waste about $150, that is what.

Harder to Lose
Have you ever tried to put down a really good book?  How about lose a really bad one?  Now, I do not mean leaving a copy of Jane Austen in a friend's dorm room.  I am talking about throwing a copy of Twilight off the Golden Gate Bridge just to see if that sparkly dude can float like the witches of yore.  Can not do that with an eBook, not without wasting some serious cashola like we did when we tried to burn it.  Of course, it may be worth it if you had the whole Meyer set on the eReader... Even then, the damn services sell things "in the cloud" now, so it would just come back when you bought another reader.

Harder to Hit (Someone, Anyone)
This point is all about perspective.  If you are trying not to get hit, you better believe it is better if someone has an eBook handy.  Unless I guess they break open an eReader and stab you with the jaged plastic, but that is not really the eBook now is it?  Nope, when you want to really go to town on someone, do you want a Phone eBook, or a good old fashioned Yellow Pages?  I let my fingers do the walking and get that money out of him/her anyway I can, cause I like to save money.  Did you know they will just give you a phone book?

Harder to Ban

Have you ever tried to ban a paper book?  Then you know how easy it is.  All one has to do is pick up the lump of pulp, yell "Banned" and throw it out the nearest window.  Voila!  That book is banned.  eBooks are so much harder to do that with, though.  You have to go to a computer, unplug the thing, uncouple the other thing, lift up the heavy thing, then yell "Banned" and throw it out the nearest window.  Then you have to do that for at least 3 more items before the whole thing is gone.  Just too hard.


Harder to Sculpt
Just do a search for book sculptures.  You can not sculpt with an eBook.

From artist Su Blackwell.  Check out more of her amazing work!

*Hah!  I AM self aware, take that ex-girlfriend Linda!
** Yeah, I know I have said that before, but this time I mean it.
*** Print Books, pBooks trademark Banned Library Productions (pending)

Poll Closed, I Live!

This post sponsored by my sinuses.

I have climbed out of my antihistamine-induced stupor to give you the results of this week's poll: "What's your favorite way to relieve tension at the library?"

The results are as follows:

52% of those polled said they would speak to a coworker.  Lame, folks.  I mean, really?  

26% of those polled said they would drink heavily.  I will see you people in New Orleans in June.

With 10% each of those polled, shelving a few books and reading a book tied.  This only proves that few librarians really are helped by books.

This weeks poll?  I figure that we need a mascot here at the Banned Library.  Ideas, they are a flying, but I need some help narrowing them down so the poll will be "What should the Banned Library animal be?"  I threw out a couple of suggestions that I like, but if you have another suggestion throw it down in the comments.

Bonus Poll:  Does your library use eBooks?  Poll will last until the end of the month.

Kinect Sells Like Crazy Sexy Hot Cakes

Guiness, the company that counts the best in the world, has declared Microsoft's Kinect to be the Fastest Selling Computer Electronic Device.  To claim the honor, Kinect had to not only outsell Apple's iPhone and iPad devices, but do it really fast.  How fast?  Like a bunny.  A really fast bunny that sells 133,333 Kinects a day on average.  A salesman of the year kind of bunny that does not have time for his wife and kids because he just loves selling Kinect so much that he memorizes its applications but does not bother to come to even one baseball game.  Just one game, Dad! 

I mean Bunny. 

Hey, that thing sold a lot, huh?

Do not believe me?  Why should you; I am a stranger on the Internet.  Now get into my van and eat that damn candy.  Or just click here.  Yeah, that is less creepy.

Are Microsoft... What's a Word that Means "Racist Against Nerds"?

Microsoft is trying to patent a dating site algorithm that will connect people with "fringe interests."  I will let that sink in, then stop you when you get too dirty with "fringe interests."  They are looking to set people up with similar, you know, nerd hobbies.  As Geekwire reports, Microsoft specifically mentions comic books as an interest no red-blooded American that wants to get his freak on talks about in public.

I have to ask, is Microsoft being... I do not even have a word for it.  Not Nerdist, cause that's awesome.  Anti-nerd?  Nerd-con?  That would be cool.

Whatever, when your founder looks like this, you might want to reword your patents there, Microsoft.  I mean, its not like you are @jus10barbour or something.

Library of Congress Makes Baseball People Happy

The Library of Congress will receive some 10,000 recordings of baseball commentator Patrick Rispole says the Wall Street Journal (or WSJ if you are "street").  The recording include many memorable baseball moments such as the Brooklyn Dodgers last game, Sandy Koufax's first no hitter, and that time he spilled coffee on himself on air.  The LoC plans to digitize the collection and have them available online.

So, baseball...  The National Pastime.  The Big Show.  Ole Hardball.  Yep, nothing like sipping a brew, eating a 'dog on a hot July day and watching a game.  Yep.  Good times.  I have no idea what I am talking about.

Facebook Renting Movies

Like the Matrix, dude.

Warner Brothers has tied with Facebook to rent movies over the social network reports Hollywood Reporter..   The first movie, The Dark Knight, is up now for $3 in Facebook Credits, whatever those are.  A little Netflix envy, eh, Facebook?

Over at Galleycat, they are wondering if this will lead to ebooks in the future.  I have a better question:  What if this kills us all?  Think about it, if the Social Network plays on Facebook, the whole universe might just blow right the hell up!  And do not try to fill my head with your blah blah physics, this stuff is real people!  Wake up and take the red pill and face your fears for judgement day for it is upon you, suckas!

Librarians Go All Newsies on Harper Collins

Okay, so maybe not exactly "Newsies" but librarians around the libriosphere are calling for a boycott on Harper Collins until the publisher agrees to their demands.  If you will remember from my earlier post, the big HC placed a 26 checkout limit on all ebooks and that make librarians angry.  And you would not like them when they are angry.  They get all hivey.

How shall this story end, eh?  Big dance number?  The greedy publisher crumbling to the demands?  Godzilla?  We shall see.  I will keep you posted unless I get bored with the whole thing.  Then I will photoshop a bun on the Hulk.

Check out the USA Today article covering the whole thing.