JK Rowling In A Master's Degree Slump?

After the New Yorker gave JK Rowling's new book "The Casual Vacancy" a "lukewarm review," I was forced to think of another term for "the sophomore slump."  While, yes, the previous term applies as this is her second outing in the land of fiction, when the first outing is an award-winning* seven book series, one can hardly call the author a "sophomore."  So, after being lauded with praise for nearly fifteen years, I grant Ms. Rowling a Master's degree in writing, getting her out of the undergraduate program entirely simply for the fact that she could buy and sell me ten times over and I do not wish to wake up with a chocolate frog on my pillow as a warning.

To comment on the article in question... What the hell did you think was going to happen?  She had years to get the Harry Potter books down, before when writing it and throughout the years as they were scrutinized by the world.  Anything thrown out, especially for adults, is going to be less than perfect.  The audience is less defined and expecting the whimsy of the original series.  I hesitate to say this, but her editor may have Stephen King disease, wherein the editor dares not edit the original manuscript of a literary god as he or she would for your average typewriter monkey.

*Did the Harry Potter series ever win any awards?  I say yes, in my heart.  It won my heart.

JK Rowling's 'The Casual Vacancy' gets a lukewarm first review - New York Daily News (blog)

Top Six Best Movie Libraries

The Oscars are tonight so I decided to look back at libraries in cinema.  The library is an influential setting as it denotes knowledge and a place for the characters to regroup.  And it can have some cool stuff in it.  So here, presented in alphabetical order are the Six Best Movie Libraries:

Ghostbusters: New York Public Library

This is not a made up library, you say.  True, the New York Pulbic Library is a fixture on the biblio landscape, but this movie proves how great it can be: freaking ghosts.  When the boys go on their first job and encounter the irregular stacked books and the librarian ghost, it is hard not to feel a little bad your library is not so haunted.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone: Hogwart”s Library

The library shows up over and over in J K Rowling’s fictional tale of the boy wizard, but none so prominent as in the first movie.  This library is badass not because of its fantastical subject matter but because of the Restricted section, a place for evil and uncontrollable books.  Whoa to thee who opens those evil tomes.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: Unnamed Venice Library

Indy checks out the library for a moment before smashing through the floor and finding an ancient crypt below.  While the library itself is not that important a setting, it simply has to be mentioned because of the hilarious part with the “stamp guy.”

Librarian: Quest of the Spear:  The Library

Do I even have to say why this library is awesome?  It holds the ancient artifacts from across history, both magical and mundane.  How cool would it be to catalog Excalibur?

Name of the Rose: Monastery Library

This dark and depressing crime drama set in olden times is home to one of the greatest libraries in written and filmed history.  How many of you wished you worked in a labyrinthine building filled with deadly traps and codes.  Bonus points for Sean Connery in a bowl cut.

Pagemaster: Public Library

Crappy movie only good for mocking and nostalgia, but come’on, the library can turn you into a cartoon.  That’s just a little bit awesome of a plot device in anyone’s book.

Pleasantville: Pleasantville Public Library

While not awesome in the regular sense, it is cool as a narrative device.  In a world without color or passion, books are blank and empty.  As the world fills, so do the books, making the library one of the best places in town.  I have to believe this library is awesome just for that.

Honorable mentions:


Beautiful Mind: Princeton Library
Yeah, not much of a plot point, but images of beautiful windows with reading nooks are awesome.
Breakfast Club: School Library
This movie could be set in any school location, but the dynamic look of library with statues, balcony’s and doors that won’t stay open keep it iconic.
Music Man: River City Library
Again, not all that important to the plot, but the music number is great.
Stephen King’s It: Derry Library
The scene could be left out, but Pennywise showing up and doing a creepy dance in the library was memorable.
With Honors: Widener Library
Maybe I just want to live in the basement of a library with miles of books overhead.
What Dreams May Come: Heaven’s Library
Brief scene with really cool library that you could fly around.  Heaven, indeed.

Special thanks to the project of Movie Librarians for research

5 Real Things I Want from Pottermore

Okay, so I joked about what I wanted from Pottermore, but then I started thinking.  This being a dangerous thing, I started talking to my coworkers about what they would like to see on One-Hit Rowling's little website.  As librarians, we think primary sources are a big deal.  Wiki's, websites and other stuff are only as good as their sources and with Rowling at the helm of this site a definitive Harry Potter resource could be created.  So many topics were discussed, but I narrowed them down to five categories of interest.

So, without further ado, here are the 5 Real Things I Want from Pottermore


1.  People & Creature Feature
I would like a comprehensive listing of all the people and creatures in the Potterverse along with illustrations.  This would be a big, wiki level feature, but it would be awesome to have an official listing of everything Potter across the world.  Maybe include magical places and things as a separate feature.

2.  Magic for Dummies
I need a full explanation about how magic in this universe works.  I don't want to learn how to do the magic (magic ain't real, people).  But I do want to know how it effects and counter-acts the natural forces in our universe.  Yeah, I am that anal.  For an example, look at how the Dresden Files did it.  Slowly and surely Jim Butcher, Dresden Files author, knocked out the how and why his main character could kick ass with magic.  Does "Expelliarmus" cause the hand to drop a wand, the wand to fly away from the user, or just a division of wand and hand?  This is again very wiki, but information from the Word of God is paramount as the varying descriptions from the above link show.  That's just one damn spell.

3.  Timeline of Events
Yeah, more wiki crap that I need clarified.  There are bunches of websites devoted to Potter timelines, but none of them have what Rowling has: the whole story.  See, this is her baby.  If she says Harry Potter dropped dead of a heart attack after dropping his kids off at the Hogwart's Express, then that's what happened.  If Hitler was an evil wizard in her WWII history, then by Granny Goodness his main goal was to
take down Durmstrang like Voldemort did Hogwarts.  I don't know, but I want to have the option to look it up.

4.  Story Time
I called Rowling "one-trick" before.  I apologize if that offended because Harry Potter is an amazing trick.  This is the "cutting your head off, setting your head on fire then finding your card in the middle of a snowstorm in a polar bear's mouth" kind of a trick.  What she did with the world of Harry Potter is awesome.  But if this is all she is ever going to focus on, give us more.  Short stories set in the past, present and future of the Potterverse would be well-received and welcome to flesh out this zoo of a creation.  This may sound like pandering, but I just do not want this writing talent to stagnate, I want her to keep writing as much if not more than I want more Harry and this seems like an excellent platform for short fiction.

5.  Easter Eggs
Dude, think of all the hidden stuff on this site.  Just the path to get there was nuts.  A 3D Hogwarts with movable stairs and hidden ghosts and stuff would be rad.  And tubular.  Far out in a totally groovy way, man. Sorry, had to make fun of myself for saying "rad."  Anyway, I want to log on and be able to find some truly weird, thought provoking and entertaining shit, just like the books were.

Is there anything you want out of Pottermore?  Let me know on the comments, on twitter @bannedlibrary or email evan@bannedlibrary.com

Things I Want Out of Pottermore

J. K. Rowling's website Pottermore has begun accepting willing souls to sacrifice... their time.  After a rather complicated Quill search thing, many people were allowed to register for the site early, including people that were not me.  Because I have been denied entrance to this hallowed land (and the theme park... Harry defeats Voldemort and he's a hero, I defeat him and I get tossed on my ass and arrested.  Don't mix your butter beer with tequilia), I will now speculate on what Pottermore contains.  Caution: It has been several years since I read the books and a month since I slept through the last movie.  Plus, I am trying to be sued by Rowling to gain national attention... There, I said it, I want the Banned Library reality show on the air as soon as possible.

Hit the jump for the things I want to see in Pottermore
1.  Hot Dumbledore on Gindlewald action
2.  American wizards from the 80s, did anyone have Miami Vice robes?
3.  Examples of actual hog warts
4.  Salem Witch Trials and Their Affects on Wizard Poetry
5.  At least one example of a Muggle who does not give a shit about magic
6.  Hogwarts Math, English, or hell, even PhysEd class
7.  A wizard kicking ass at a regular sport
8.  Some kink (everybody's all like "They're innocent children's books" where folks fuckin' DIE!  Let's get some magical hocus pocus, if you know what I mean.  I mean sex.)
9.  Magic vs. .45: I wanna know how well the Elder Wand is against a Colt.
10.  Harry Potter and the Convention Circuit

Give me your two cents: Comment below, tweet @bannedlibrary using the hashtag #pottermorewants or email evan@bannedlibrary.com to share yours!

Harry Potter's Pottermore Attracting Conmen



Be a Gryffindor for $15.50

The Harry Potter eBook site Pottermore has been attracting a lot of attention (as I previously wrote) even though it will not open for business until October.  This has not stopped many, many different hoodwinklers and nar-do-wells from scamming everyone under the sun.  Notices of "subscription fees" and "early openings" have been popping up promising early entry into the website for hundreds of dollars. 

Do not be fooled by this people!  This ain't no "it fell off the website so now we are giving you a discount" kinda operation.  This is the kind of operation that can kill your computer, your credit score, and possibly your pet owl.  Stay away from anyone wishing to sell you early access to Harry Potter ebooks!  I mean, it is not like you can find Harry Potter ebooks on the Internet.  Especially not a torrent file that is a direct scan of the book because finding those would be ridiculously hard.  On the Internet.  With just a search or two and a rudimentary knowledge of how torrenting works.  Can't be done.

[PCWorld]

Harry Potter eBooks Pick Google over Amazon

Google Books has confirmed that they will be an ebook hub for the Harry Potter books through the Harry Potter reading website Pottermore.  Customers will be able to buy copies of the ebooks and then read them on any Google Book device, such as the Nook, Story HD and the Google Book internet platform.  This is big news for the search engine giant as it gives them a major lead over their competition, including Amazon.

Oooo, Amazon got burned!  They were all like, "J.K. Rowling, let's light the eliterary world on fire with your $15 billion dollar empire.  Light it with a Kindle." And J.K. was all, "Eh, you sell weird stuff and are all groady and old.  I like Google now.  He's hot and has a big search engine and is all about not being evil." And Amazon was like, "Rowling, why are you doing this to me! You are tearing me apart!"  And then Amazon shot itself and a kid o.d.'d or something.

[ZDNet]

Stop Talking about Harry Potter Like He's Dead, You Guys

The movie just came out and everybody's all, "Harry was great.  Remember when Harry did this or Harry did that?" Everyone's talking in the past tense.  WHY?!  He's not dead, Harry's still alive, you guys!  Stop acting like marrying a redhead is the end of your life.

I mean, as soon as the movie came out and the reviews started coming in, people were all like, "Harry made kids read.  I'm gonna miss Harry."  He's not dead!  Stop talking like that! You guys are horrible.  Nobody's talking about Ron or Herm... Hermy.... that girl like that.  Harry is, like, the best and always will be the best and you people should all just start talking like he just woke up in that damn closet under the stairs and started getting goofy letters!  Don't let go!  Harry is inside you, he is NOT in the past and I will murder anyone with my Nimbus 2000 right up their ass if they say different.

Harry is in my heart.  Harry is deep inside me.  My dreams...

Guest post by mrspotterloverpancakebreath

Hollywood to Reboot Harry Potter

Well, the last movie is upon us and as this article states, there will be no more books.  I bet soon that Hollywood will announce they will begin work on the definitive Harry Potter, rebooting the movie franchise and creating a whole new world of adventure.

In this new gritty reboot, J. K. Rowling's protagonist will be an American scientist who is granted the power of magic after being struck by a mysterious bolt of lightning.  With his friends Ron, a quick-witted thief, and Hermione, the princess of Muggletania, he will travel the globe adventuring and fighting the evil schemes of Dr. Vol De Morte, his once-friend and lover.  Helped along by their gay neighbor Dumbledore and his man servant Hagrid, they will make the world safe for democracy and hope.  Date not released.

Look Out, Harry!

Avocado Ken-dolla! Harry Potter Franchise Near End

Two weeks away from the Harry Potter Part 8 and, man, you can feel the tension in the air.  Everyone is holding their breath in anticipation for how this monkey will hang.  Will Volvomelon kill Harry Potter?  Will Harry and Hermyknee get together like we all know they will?  Will they finally kill off that red haired kid that's been following Harry around all these years like they did with JarJar the House-elf* in the last movie?  I can not wait.

Does anyone know if they have made novelizations of the scripts?  I would love to see how they handled this series in print form.

Hit the jump for all the Harry Potter links you can imagine if you can only imagine about nine or so.

Top 5 Harry Potter Smackdowns

Parseltongue translator

Footage of the Bank Heist

Emma Watson Growing Up

What Harry Potter Really Thinks of Quidditch

Harry Potter Digital

Mark Reads Harry Potter

Harry Potter Movie Site

Random Article about Last Film

*I sobbed like a baby when Dobby died.  This is all in fun, please don't hate me.