L is for Libris: First Wood Part II

Continued from F is for Fairy Tale: First Wood

It has been seven years since the men came and tore down the forest to make their books.  Sure, the men had come back and planted saplings, but Libris the fairy did not care.  All her woodland friends were gone.  Her family was gone.  Now all she had was the toil of work to keep her sane, to bring back the forest.  Then he arrived.

"How ya doin, Libris?" Colonel James Brackinridge of the first Fairy Infantry Battalion asked.

"Don't know why you're here, Colonel," Libris said, "Told you I wouldn't go back to the Fairy Corps.  My forest needs me."

"Of course your forest needs you, now more than ever.  That's why I'm here.  They got our woodland friends."

"What do you mean?" 

"The men.  They got our woodland friends.  Gonna eat'um.  We gotta-"

"What do you mean 'we' and 'our,' Colonel?  I haven't see the Corps here in 10 years.  Where were you when "we" were getting our forest cut down and turned into books?" 

"Look, are you gonna go after those damn men or not?" The Colonel said, spitting into the dirt as he said it.

"Yeah, I'm gonna get them good and when I come back," Libris said, pointing her finger into The Colonel's chest, "I'm coming for you."

Then Libris set off on a journey to bring down man and bring back the forest.  First, she created television to hurt the print sales.  Then came the Internet to kill the newspapers.  Then to finally destroy paper, she met with her friends the Kendle fairies that lived in the jungle and created eBooks.  

Her task almost complete, Libris returned to the forest, found Colonel James Brackinridge, and fed him a lead salad.

Fin

Libris will return in "Libris III"

Video Game Pioneer Gerald Lawson Passes Away

Gerald A. Lawson, the man credited with creating interchangeable video game cartridges, died at 70 from complications to diabetes.  Lawson, while leading the video game division at Fairchild Semiconductor in 1976, developed the Fairchild Channel F, the first video game console that allowed for removable cartridge video games.  This new system revolutionized the concept of home video games, as up until that point each device sold contained only one game, much like an arcade machine.

So, let me get this straight, this guy helped create the idea of home gaming on a single console 35 years ago and I just now know his name?  I feel robbed.  That's like just finding out some guy named Henry Ford had a couple of good ideas about how automobiles should be produced.  How come this culture straight up denies the heroes of today?  Oh, yeah, let us learn about the racist old white guy and the cars he built, but not the electronics pioneers that lead the way for how we live our lives today?  Bullshit.

Think about it:  First, there were computers and rudimentary game consoles.  Then, Lawson and his team create interchangeable cartridges and companies like Atari and Nintendo ran with that.  About twenty years later, people start going to discs, like the Playstation, first CD and then DVD.  Ten years after that, we can download entire games, movies and more to our consoles, from the Xbox Live Marketplace to the apps on your iPhone.  Cloud services like Amazon's have already opened up the way for playing applications on the fly without the need of a single console.

Do you know when Mr. Gerald A. Lawson first received a pat on the back for his contributions?  Last month.  Unbelievable.

NYTimes

Parents Complain about Porn, Library Moves Porn so Parents Cannot See

Step 1: Go to the librar

Daily Life on Today reports that a Chinatown library in Los Angeles solved the problem of pornography complaints from parents about the computer labs by moving the computers so others could not see what the patron on the computer was doing.  As the article points out, the people watching the porn have "no shame" so the best solution is to simply pretend they are researching their stage production of "My Little Pony Meets Frankenstein" rather than collecting more informaiton in their hardcore, Fort Knox Swiss spank bank accounts.

I really have nothing to say about this.  Simply another case of the inmates running the asylum.  Why not just put up a little red curtain to the adult computer lab?  Hell, we already check IDs at the door in some way or another.  I only have one question:  When do we get to have liquor licenses?

Amazon Lowers Kindle Price with the Power of ADS

Smile, you cheap bastard.

A new Kindle is now available on Amazon's website that will be cheaper by way of ADS.  A special note on the front page of Amazon's website explains how great the Kindle is and why every on should own one (see it while you can) as well as talking about how ADS will display and how you, the customer, can choose them.  

Now, I know I am in the minority on this, but I do not see how running a Kindle on diesel will do any good for anything.  Think about it Amazon, partnering up with the Association for Diesel Specialists is just a way for you to make a quick buck and move some product.  It does ADS no good and it certainly does nothing for the consumer.  There's gonna be smog everywhere people.  What's next, nuclear powered Nooks?  

eWeek

Cathollics Excited Then Bummed About New Youth Book

 

"And ye shall not go puttin things on your junk," so sayeth the Lord.

A new Catholic book was released this week that told that contraception methods were okay.  Then, in a manner much like the days of yore, they burned 30,000 copies of the heretic book.  The book, YouCat, was for catholic youth (YouCat, Young Catholics... you get it) originally written in German.  During the translation process, apparently the words for "crazy hopeful timing contraception method" and "all contraception methods" sound the same in German and the book was misprinted which lead to the aforementioned 30,000 being deposed of forthwith.

Sure.  Right.  "Mistake."  I get it, Popey.  Wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more.  We all make mistakes sometimes, baby.  Ain't no thang.  Now, let's get you some medicine.  Paging Dr. Freud...

Telegraph

K is for Knowledge

 

The American Heritage College Dictionary, my personal favorite, defines "knowledge" as "The state or fact of knowing... familiarity, awareness, or understanding gained through experience or study."  Experience or study?  I like that, gives me an idea for a small play.

Hit the jump for "Cavemen of the Vanities"

Cavemen of the Vanities

ext.  Outside at night near the opening of a cave, 10,000 B.C.  
Two cavemen are sitting outside looking upward at the ominous clouds rolling over and blotting out the stars.  

Carl

I say, old man.  I think we should head inside.

Randy

Truly, this storm seems swift.  However, the humidity is not yet above the maximum amount for rain.  I fear in this dry climate we may only see lightning and thunder.  Nothing more.

Carl

Don't you mean "see lightning and hear thunder?" (laughs)

Randy

(laughs) Quite correct.  Thank you for pointing out my indiscretion.  I can be quite aloof.

Suddenly, a bolt of lightning strikes a nearby tree.  The tree explodes, sending a fiery log to land directly in front of the caveman.

Randy

(scared) Holly bells!  The orange demon is back.  Allow us to KILL IT.

Carl

Quite so!

Randy and Carl begin to hit the fiery log with their wooden clubs.  The clubs catch fire.  In a rash decision, Carl bludgeons Randy to death with his fiery club.  

Carl

Oh, maker.  What has happened?  I just wanted his body water to chase the demon from my club.  What has happened?

Carl looks from Randy (who is now a smoking, bloody heap) to the club (which still has some flame).

Carl

What has happened?  I know.  The orange demon made me do it.  Made me strong.  Orange demon good!  Good, indeed!  Demon from sky, make Carl best there is!  Carl destroy all who oppose!

Fin

So, there is our first step in knowledge.  Stay tuned and we will be discussing  "knowledge" in more detail with "Serendipity" and "Wiki Effect."

J is for Journalists

 

One of my first lessons as a big boy librarian about working with the public was put thusly, "You can bend or break almost any rule the library has for the public, but you better be able to justify it to the paper."  That is a pretty bold statement to tell a kid fresh out of library school.  "You got carte blanche, punk, but you are on your own if you get caught."  I felt like I was given keys to the Batmobile or something.

I wanna Bat-bookmobile

But then I had to actually talk to the press.  I do not remember the details, but I know it had something to do with how we disposed of books.  The journalist was following up on a patron complaint that we just throw away old, unused, musty, moldy and insect ridden books.  How dare we!  I could just feel the hint of Dateline-top-scare-story-itus in the journalists voice, so I did what any good librarian would do: I passed the problem up.  The director took care of it from there.  

 But it raises an interesting question in any situation:  do you serve the library or the public?  Gut reaction says, "Serve the public, the community funds us and we are its intellectual backbone and stuff!"  That's true I would say 95 percent of the time.  But there's that five percent of the time when you have to protect the library from the public.  In the age of lawsuits, do you help up the lady that fell in the stacks?  In the age of Twitter, do you dare make a bad impression on a problem patron who is damaging the library?  In the age of blogging, do you admit that a person on staff with command over a decent-size portion of the budget wishes the library was a Bat-bookmobile? 

In case you are wondering, if you type "J is for" in the Google machine, the next automatic results were for "junkie," "James," "jellyfish," and "jungle fabric."  I could have easily done three paragraphs on how each relate to the library.