Does Target Have a Bullseye with Google eReader? I'm Clever.

Hit That Shit! 

Superstore Target has partnered with iriver to sell the iriver Story HD, the first ereader that exclusively works with Google Bookstore.  The device will go on sale July 17th at a competitive price. [reuters]

So, here we go again with another ereader.  Kindle, Nook, Sony Thing-a-ma-bob, and now the Story HD.  I know eReader is a fancy way to say it, but why can't a company have some balls?  I want the Amazon BookKiller or the Apple iGlare.  I am all for creativity, but let's stop making up words and have some fun with these things.  Also, I just realized, I have no idea what the hell a "kindle" is.  What the hell kinda word is that and why did I just accept it?

EDIT: I have recently researched "kindle" and found the following:

–verb (used with object)
1. to start (a fire); cause (a flame, blaze, etc.) to begin burning.
2. to set fire to or ignite (fuel or any combustible matter).
3. to excite; stir up or set going; animate; rouse; inflame: He kindled their hopes of victory.

So there we have it, Amazon's subtle hint that you should burn all your books.

Library's Twitter Hacked: Resist

The Hennepin County Library's Twitter account was hacked recently, causing problems for the staff.  The account, which has around 4,300 followers, regained control yesterday morning after a daring raid.  The staff is grateful no permanent damage has been done to both the library's reputation and to the account as a whole.

Local Ned Ryerson had this to say, "Well I was taking my morning looky loo at the old library twitter and I saw some disturbing things, disturbing things on there.  Some choose to forget the tweets, but I sure as heck fire will remember.  It's like I told my friend Phil, once your soul has been scarred like that, there's just no going back, am I right?  Or am I right?  I'm right.  Then I heard the library was organizing a resistance and I was, like, count me in, friend.  And we did it."

No record has been made about the "library resistance," simply that the staff was alerted and control was lost.  Then, on July 6, hope arose from inside the library when the tweet came out, "we don't have control back yet. I still have access through my phone."  A lone individual was still inside the twitter, making a difference through the pain and irrelevant tweets.  Finally, on the morning of July 7, a cry sounded out "FANTASTIC news!! We're back @hclib, please re-follow. Story to follow. Thank you again for the support and assistance."  The hope of a county resumed. 

[KSTP News]

Crazy Librarian Attempting to Help Libraries

Andy Woodworth might look like your average American.  I am sure he has hobbies, interests, a fascination with members of a sex and probably likes pie.  Most people seem to like pie.  But what makes Andy so different is his petitions for change.  See, Andy advocates for libraries.  By shining a light on such controversial issues as the "Harper Collins 26 Check Out Rule" and "Why Doesn't Ben & Jerry's Have a Library Flavor," Andy does something not outright American: he cares.

But does this library fanboy care too much?  When Library 2.0 came out, was he excited until he realized its convoluted plot and wooden acting under performance and distance from patrons would drag down his memories of watching Star Wars going to the library with his mom?  Does Andy know the obsession with which he clings?

I GO HOME EVERY DAY SMELLING LIKE BOOKS!!!

And... God help me... I love it...

Read more about Andy and his wonderful cause here.
People for a library-themed Ben & Jerry's flavor!

Another Funny Parenting Book

Holy Shit! Wait... Who is zapping who?

In another range of "Man, I Shouldn't Have Kids" News, another parenting book has come out that gives a humorous and practical look at raising those little poopmancers.  Let's Panic About Babies gives a sarcastic and sometimes hilarious look at what's going on after you get it on without getting a condom on.

Anyway, here's a few titles I came up with if anyone else is thinking about writing a children's book:

"Tell Your Friends to Go the Fuck Home"
"Kids Really Are Bastards, Huh?"
"Fuck My Kids, I'm Drunk"
"TV'll Raise 'Em"

Hollywood to Reboot Harry Potter

Well, the last movie is upon us and as this article states, there will be no more books.  I bet soon that Hollywood will announce they will begin work on the definitive Harry Potter, rebooting the movie franchise and creating a whole new world of adventure.

In this new gritty reboot, J. K. Rowling's protagonist will be an American scientist who is granted the power of magic after being struck by a mysterious bolt of lightning.  With his friends Ron, a quick-witted thief, and Hermione, the princess of Muggletania, he will travel the globe adventuring and fighting the evil schemes of Dr. Vol De Morte, his once-friend and lover.  Helped along by their gay neighbor Dumbledore and his man servant Hagrid, they will make the world safe for democracy and hope.  Date not released.

Look Out, Harry!

Books Might Have Sex Too, Duh Magazine Reports

Here's the first couple sentences from a recent Fox News report:

Television, movies and video games aimed at kids and teens get lots of attention for their portrayals of violence and sex. But a new study finds that popular teen books, too, can be surprisingly sexual, meaning that reading may not always be the wholesome activity that parents expect. [FoxNews]

 Crack.  That is the sound of my brain attempting to beat itself to death from within my skull.

Really?  Holy shit!  Books have sex too!  I thought sex was only invented when Mary Kay and Johnny started sleeping in the same bed and the stork put a baby in her!  Who would write that down?  These are books, nobody does anything bad in books.  Oh, why is this happening?  Why are the satanists going after our young?  Let's see what the Bible has to say:

"Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts are like clusters of fruit.  I said, "I will climb that palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit." May your breasts be like clusters of the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples." Song of Solomon 7:7-8

Ahhhhhh! The demons are in my eye holes making me see the sin!  I shall go now into the darkness and kill!

"I Can Read" Digitally

The beginner reader series from Harper Collins "I Can Read" is being brought into the digital market.  The series will be available on the Apple iBookstore and the Nook Bookstore sometime soon. [GalleyCat]

Also announced are a new line of nonfiction "I Can Read" Titles, including "Dummies Guide to Angry Birds," "How to Hack Mommy's WoW Account So She Will Feed You," and "CSS and HTML Coding with Visual Basic."