Friday, July 29, 2011

Banned Books Week Youtube'in It!

120 Banned Books: Censorship Histories of World LiteratureThe American Library Association has announced that this year's Banned Books Week will include interactive elements.  So far, the ALA has announced a Youtube channel that will allow people to upload 2 minute video readings/presentations of banned books or 3 minute videos of personal stories about defending a banned book.

Aw, yeah! Time to get my Flipcam on!  My video will be a presentation of the Debbie Does Dallas... Again script done in traditional kabuki theater.  Yep, they banned that script in my elementary school's library.  I could not believe it either.  And after grandma took so much time considering just which one of her many, many scripts to donate.

[ALA Banned Books Week] via [americanlibraries]

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Apple Overlords Change App Policy, Kill In-App Bookstores

Apple iPhone 4G 16GB Quadband World GSM Phone (Manufacturer Unlocked)What do Google Books, Amazon Kindle and other eBook services have in common?  They have all been affected by Apple's policy about in-app stores.  Apple states that all apps have to be directed through their marketplace, taking a hefty 30% of anything sold.  The above apps (and many more) have been updated, removing consumer options and strengthening my happiness that I finally moved on to the Android system.

[Zdnet]

NYPL Is Giving the Place Away! To Children!

New York: Portrait Of A CityThe New York Public Library will offer amnesty to the 143,000 children who are currently unable to check out items due to excessive fines.  The program, which started July 25 and will continue until September 9, also includes a way for minors to read down their fines at a rate of $1 for every 15 minutes.

Good job, NYPL (if that is your real name).  Trade education and reader appreciation over economy and money.  Back in my day we squeezed those twerps for all they were worth.  We bartered, too.  If a kid brought in a lump of coal, then we took a penny off his fine.  If he brought in a penny, we took the penny as a donation and charged him twice as much.  I remember making a small child cry when we took his mother into servitude after he was late with a Thomas the Tank Engine book.  And we took his tears, too. She checked out well, as I remember.

That's not all, we didn't take no disrespect of library property.  If he tried to get on one of our steam-powered computators, we slapped him in the gob cause those are only for those who read pornography like Raymond Chandler.  If he sat and read a book in our library, we kicked him out cause there's no loitering in our library!

[Rueters]
NYPL Read down

Friday, July 22, 2011

Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation Toilet Research

American Standard 2829.128.020 Cadet-3 FloWise Round Front Two-Piece Toilet with High Efficiency, White
I can't believe there's nothing better to talk about.
The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation will give over $40 million to research a better toilet for the world use.  Dirty water and improper sanitation are among the world's leaders in death and the Gate's believe that by giving the world a place to poop millions could be saved. [mashable]

I don't want to be harsh... But isn't "Don't shit where you eat" pretty Darwinian at this point?  The strong survive the nasty water while the weak perish?  And even if you save those would have died young, aren't you just then putting pressure on a society that can't get good drinking water to feed more people?  I don't wanna nerd out too much, but isn't this why Starfleet has the prime directive, "Do not interfere with the internal advancement of a civilization"?

I'm bumming myself out.

I think, and this is just from my experience working with the public, Gates money should go toward a better condom.  Or reliable food.  Or better irrigation.  For all I know, they may be doing all that too.  Check out the video and a sketch after the jump.

In a remote village in the desert of someplace.
Foundation Dude: 
Well, this place sucks.  No food, no good water, the land is virtually unusable... 
Native Dude: 
Yeah, but hey, it's not like there's anything better out there.
FD: 
Um, yeah... Hey, you want a toilet?
ND: 
A whoosit?
FD: 
A bowl to crap in.
ND:  
Sure. What do we do when it's full?
FD:  
I dunno... Get a new one?
ND: 
How about a bowl of food instead?  Some medicine?
FD:  
I think somebody else is on that stuff.  So, free crapper?
ND:  
I guess.  Can I have your shoes, too?
FD: 
Um... No.
Scene

Thursday, July 21, 2011

7 Reasons Porn Should Be Allowed in the Library

Pornography: A Thriller
Some unholy, disturbing things happen right in the public view.  I am not talking about beatings, murders, rapes, and riots either.  I am talking about the silent oddities and eccentricities that set off the Somebody Else's Problem Drive in our brains and allow us to turn away unscathed.  Two elderly pimps on a tandem bicycle, a man with a snake weaved into his weave, cats dressed as people, it never ends but it is part of everyday life.  Even in the smallest of towns there is always someone a little "touched in the head," as my grandmother used to say.  How come consensual sex is not part of this list (outside of New Orleans)?

Everybody does it.  It is literally why we are all here.  And like everything, some individuals fetishize it.  Some abuse it.  Some downright worship it.  Is this because it is still a taboo topic in modern society?  Is it because there are still laws on the books about "irregular" sex such as sodomy, oral and, well anything except the puritanical makin'-baby lovin' of the missionary position?  Are we backwards or is the system backwards or are we backwards because of the system?  I am not here to answer any of those questions.  I am here because of a debate that is now on simmer but could boil over at anytime: porn in the library.

Earlier this week, a lawsuit was filed against the Birmingham Public Library by one of its library assistants.  In the suit, the worker claims that administrators allegedly did nothing to stop the use of pornographic images and video on library computers by patrons.  I suppose displaying such material is against library policy and even state law.  This comes on the heels of the New York library allowing porn to be looked up on its own computers.  These are not isolated incidents, just a way of life in the world of public information.  Should we regulate what information people have access to, or just patron behavior as they access it?  I have "reported" on this kind of stuff before, but now I feel it is time to play devil's advocate.

What is the upside of porn in the library?  Well, I thought of seven reasons.  Check them out after the jump.

1.  1st Amendment
Allowing "Fixing the Cable" everywhere
Information should be free.  That is not just a chant for hackers and those weirdos online that like to download every season of "My Little Pony."  If information is freely spoken, then that information should be freely obtainable within copyright law.  Some will argue art and entertainment, vital news vs fluff news, but when it all comes down to it, it is information freely spoken.  Ideas, beliefs, man on woman on man on donkey action, whatever, are information that can be freely found online.  Denying information is wrong and is censorship, pure and simple.  This should not be "American," this should be a global truth.

2.  Identify the Creeps
Exhibit A.
What can a privacy screen show that a middle-aged man in sweatpants hanging around the children's department at noon not tell you?  Not much.  But all the weirdos do not look like Lester the Molester.  Some have ties, slacks, and a basic knowledge of hygiene.  If staff see pornography being viewed in a public library, they can file those people away in their brains.  The "normal" people can be silently filed away as potential problems simply by what they are viewing.  Remember, this is a public library.  What you are doing is not private and will allow others to make judgement on you.

3.  More Tame than Literature (and Better than Twilight)
Purple Panties: An Eroticanoir.com Anthology
For Kids!
Ever heard of an author named Zane?  This author makes Cinemax blush.  They are also fairly well written books that never fail to entertain.  I am only singling out her because she is one of many erotic authors that is present on library shelves across the nation.  Erotic, violent, and subversive fiction and nonfiction populate the shelves and are heavily checked out.  Even the Twilight series, a series for young adults, fetishizes lust and carnal desire in the absence of common interests and conversation.  One could argue that by reading these scenes and causing your own mind to come up with the emotions and visuals could be more damaging and changing than the dirtiest porn or the most violent video game.  I know several books that changed my life by introducing themes and emotions I would not otherwise had access to, let alone a quasi dialog with.  I love video games, but I really cannot think of one that caused that in me.  And as far as porn goes, it does not hide what it is.  Like Animal Planet, porn on the internet is often a documentary of two or more animals going at it with little story or need for investment by the viewer.

4.  Allow Staff to Concentrate on More Pressing Problems
Budget problems, patron disputes, lost materials, these are library problems.  Worrying about what people are accessing on the internet should not be.  If someone is reading a book, I do not care why.  I should not care why another person is online.  As I librarian, I have other concerns.  Will we be staffed tomorrow?  Is the HVAC system working in the middle of summer?  Are all the computers running correctly?  Do we have enough change in the money drawers?  Will the summer reading program be done before the book club gets here because we read the killer clown book this month and those old ladies can not take the shock?  If I know Lester the Molester is safe at a computer terminal, then that is one problem off my book for the day.  Every little bit helps.

5.  Healthy Alternative to Animal Mating Videos
Rule 34: Slash Fic for all occations
Imagine if you will, a normal library day.  A cry of a baby from the children's department.  A cough from the silent reading room.  The reek-reek-reek of receipt printers.  Then one of the staff calls me over to the computer lab.  A teenager, fourteen or so, has been causing problems in the lab.  Not loud.  Not talking back.  His parent signed the access form, so he is there with no recourse.  Nope, it was because he was viewing horses doin' it.  And doin' it well.  And urinating.  And a myriad of other acts that I did not know horses could do.  No people, because YouTube will not allow that.  Just horses.  Here's a link, spoilers: horses doin' it.  No choice but to let him continue because, well, that is not covered in the "doin' it" policy or the state indecency laws.  We all get curious when we are young, but come on.  Please do not let this be your child.  Porn is not that bad.

6.  Won't Have to Replace the Art and Exercise Materials So Often
National Geographic
National Pornographic
Walk into the public restroom or all the way in the back to that lonely quiet corner of the library.  What will you find there?  The Joy of Sex, Shape Magazine, and The Art of Drawing.  Like the National Geographic before them, these books and their ilk show boobies.  Those boobies make them a target for stealing, not returning, and hiding in the dark recesses of the library, so much so that some libraries make them request items.  If porn was freely available on the library computers, no one would even think of actually looking for the stuff.  Just Google it, am I right?

7.  WiFi Already Lost Us The Control
Look around your library.  How many smartphones, laptops, tablets and video game systems can you count?  I carry at least four WiFi-enabled, internet capable devices on me just cause that's what I have.  Our library's WiFi, like most libraries, requires no key to gain access to it.  Hell, even outside of libraries there are at least 10 WiFi spots within a two minute drive, and we are not even that big a city.  Now think about all that access, free and relatively unfiltered.  Someone is already used and/or using your library for porn.  Not just the bikini pics of girls in Cosmo, either, real-funky-cold-Medina porn.  So, sorry to tell you, libraries are already allowing access.  Even the most advanced filter can not catch everything.  It is okay if you do not see it, though, right?

Have something to say? Leave a comment or email at evan@bannedlibrary.com

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Harry Potter eBooks Pick Google over Amazon

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of AzkabanGoogle Books has confirmed that they will be an ebook hub for the Harry Potter books through the Harry Potter reading website Pottermore.  Customers will be able to buy copies of the ebooks and then read them on any Google Book device, such as the Nook, Story HD and the Google Book internet platform.  This is big news for the search engine giant as it gives them a major lead over their competition, including Amazon.

Oooo, Amazon got burned!  They were all like, "J.K. Rowling, let's light the eliterary world on fire with your $15 billion dollar empire.  Light it with a Kindle." And J.K. was all, "Eh, you sell weird stuff and are all groady and old.  I like Google now.  He's hot and has a big search engine and is all about not being evil." And Amazon was like, "Rowling, why are you doing this to me! You are tearing me apart!"  And then Amazon shot itself and a kid o.d.'d or something.

[ZDNet]

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Swift Action by Georgia Police Takes Down Lemonade Stand

Dramatic Reenactment
A sunny day in the deep south town of Midway, GA.  Heat rises off the pavement.  The humidity makes walking akin to swimming.  Enter the criminals and a new street drug to prey on the weakness that such a boil brings.

Officers located three deviants setting up an illegal sidewalk speakeasy of the drug locally known as "lemonade."  After asking for their business  and food licences, the boys in blue forced the scum of society to take their yellow poison elsewhere despite pleas that they were just raising money for the a trip to the"water park" an obvious code word for "black tar heroin den."  As the criminals were minors and the drug itself is so new it is still under investigation by the FDA, they were released and their wares confiscated by officers.

"Lemonade" is a dangerous new chemical that leaves the drinker with a puckered yet satisfying taste in the mouth and a lessening of thirst.  Derived from average lemons, the secrets of its manufacture are hidden by higher up criminals called "grandmas."  Sold from locations known as "stands" by child labor, the drug can be found in every community.  Even police are baffled at this new street drug:
"Midway Police Chief Kelly Morningstar says police also didn't know how the lemonade was made, who made it or what was in it."  [Associated Press via USAToday]
While no one has yet died from overdosing on "lemonade" in its processed, concentrated "frozen" form it can cause the debilitating effect known in the medical community as "brain freeze."