Google Play Books App Thingamajig Updates

The Google Play Books Android App has updated to include now standard features of other ebook reading apps.  Matching the Kindle App and... other ebook apps, Google Play Books now allows highlighting and commenting of content, features that have been available only on the desktop version in Google's Chrome browser.
Finally, no longer staring with futility at electronic text, wishing you could tell that book what you really felt.  No more sleepless nights unable to remember that one sentence of Twilight that really pissed you off.  Google has once again liberated the masses, offered the ability electronically that any asshole with a pen could do with a normal book.  Halelujah, we are saved.
Also, the Apple version of the app has not been updated with these features, so they can suck it.  If you are reading this on an iPhone/iPad, I of course do not mean you. 
Google updates Android books app to match rivals - CNET (blog)

Google Combines Digital Libraries into Google Play

Google yesterday combined their Books, Music and Movie stores into one big market for Android called "Google Play."  This consolidation of services hopes to rival such entities as Amazon and iTunes.

Well, poopie, there goes my productivity.  I felt so productive every day, checking for deals at each section but now all that is lost.  Just one website?  Man, I won't know what to do with myself.  It's like they moved a Wal-mart right in the middle of my library.  This just breaks my soul at how unbusy I feel right now.

Okay, this article sucks, but they all can't be winners.  I'm watching a spider crawl on my coworker right now.  She is oblivious.

Where Google Is Going With 'Google Play,' New Online Store And Library - TPM

Top Whatever of 2011

The year is done, a day is past, so it is time for a little reflection.  What really blew my socks off this year?  What did I come into contact with this year that impressed me a whole bunch?  Now, I agree a bunch of awesome stuff came out this year, I just didn't see it all.  I got shit to do, ya know?  So these lists are all the stuff I experienced.  And I will admit right off, this is my personal experience and not everything in this article may have come out this year, this is just what I enjoyed.  Disagree? Let me know in the comments or go out and write your own.  We all love lists.  Lists after the jump.

Top Stuff I Read

Ghost Story by Jim Butcher
I love Jim Butcher and the newest Dresden Files book will always be on my best of stuff I read list.  Deal with it and fair warning for next year.
Nerdist Way by Chris Hardwick
Any listener to the Nerdist Podcast has at least thumbed through this book.  I found it informative and an enjoyable read that taps into what makes my mind tick and motivated me to change some things in my life.
Son of Neptune by Rick Riordan
In my view, I enjoyed the Percy Jackson books more than Harry Potter.  Not to say they were better, just that they were more fun, slice and dice adventures that I could relate to in my little brain.  Again, I love the Potter but for my money these books are great.

Top Movies I Watched

[Note: I didn't go to the movies much this year, but these are the ones I really liked enough to remember.]

Tucker and Dale Vs Evil
I really get a kick out of a good horror film and when Netflix suggested this little beauty on disc I just had to try it.  And IT ROCKED.  The release for it was tiny and the promotion was next to nothing, but this movie is one of the more inventive comedy/horror films you will ever see.  At worst you could call it an American "Shaun of the Dead" sans zombies.
Captain America
Best popcorn flick I saw with decent effects that made me really want to see The Avengers.  Chris Evans really surprised me as the square-jawed, apple-pie eating Cap.
The Muppets
Did for the Muppets what Rocky Balboa did for the Rocky franchise.  Songs so good I bought the soundtrack (except for one, cough, Cooper rap, cough) and a basic fun that brought me back to my childhood.  Modern kids won't get it and I could care less.  It almost isn't for them.

Top Shows I Found

Community

I was late to the party on this comedy and have been kicking myself all the way through the box sets.  Well written, funny and engaging, I absolutely love this series.
Leverage
Another late to the party show for me, Leverage is two parts A-Team, one part Oceans 11, shaken and stirred in a way that just drips cool and fun.  The plots can get a little predictable, especially if you watch all 4 seasons in a row like I did, but the characters and acting more than make up for it.
Once Upon a Time
When your girlfriend suggests the two of you watch a show about fairy tales, you smile and nod and inwardly groan.  Then Snow White pulls a damn broadsword on the Evil Queen and you hope this series lasts forever!  Cleverly told and plotted, I hold this up to one of the happiest surprises I have had since I smirked at Buffy all those years ago.

Top Digital Time Suckers

Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
What can I say that has not already been said about this game?  This is one of the most engaging titles out there and I just... Go play it.
Batman: Arkham City
You are Batman.  Gotham is a prison.  Shit's going down.  You stop it.  As the goddamn Batman.  You had me at Batman.
Portal 2
This is why I don't review video games.  I pick the most awesome ones I can find and tell you they are awesome.  Play Portal 2.  You will thank me.

Top Long Form Aural Ear Candy

Thrilling Adventure Hour
This podcast fills me with joy.  After years of listening to interviews, comedians, and others talk about random shit that made me laugh, here is fiction.  Serialized radio plays that are both funny and highly addictive.
Nerdist
The interviews are both funny and deep and the guys dicking around make me wanna call my friends.  Cannot say more without going back and re-listening, but then I would never finish writing this.  Enjoy your burrito.
LiberryCast
Ever been the librarian at the party that just trumps everyone else's work horror stories with one tale of library craziness that happened just last week?  That's the LiberryCast.

Top Short Form Aural Ear Candy

To be honest, I'm not much of a music nerd.  It just does not fall in my wheelhouse.  So I looked back on the digital stuff I bought over the last year and my most listened to tracks.  Here you go, in no particular order:
Sara Watkins
They Might Be Giants
She & Him
Social Distortion
Me First and the Gimmee Gimmees
Flogging Molly
Colin Haye
Rancid
Weezer
Cheap Trick

Top Serialized Paper Picture Books

[Note: Comics are another area where I am lacking.  Nothing has really grabbed me this year but the following and while I have a decent supplier for my crack, he can't always get the quality stuff.  Plus, I have been lapsing and not reading as much as I used to.  Kinda sad, I do love them so.]

Justice League
The reboot of the DCU excited me.  I picked up several titles such as Action Comics, Detective Comics Batman, and a few others, but this one is the only one that really grabbed me.  I still read the others, but I guess I just like a team book.  The art is not that bad either.
Ultimate Spider-man Reboot
Another reboot that I really was dreading (Make Mine Marvel), but I really fell for this book.  Ultimate Spidey is what got me back into comics years ago and killing Peter Parker sickened me a little.  But Miles Morales is a good choice for the next angsty, teenage spider-kid.  At least he's not a clone.

Top 140 Characters or Less

[Note: This isn't even scratching the surface of all the Twitter folks I love, especially the Awesome Librarians.  I made a list of those.  If you aren't on that list, let me know.  These are just three that I happen to adore.]

Steven Weber @TheStevenWeber 
Who has two thumbs, starred on Wings and sends out the craziest tweets imaginable? This guy.
Joe Hill @joe_hill
One of my favorite authors and a damn informative dude.
T J Miller @nottjmiller
Comedian and actor, Miller is one of the oddest cats with a handle.

So that's what I got for 2011.  Not all, but most.  I didn't include blogs because most of them are either included here, linked to from their twitters, or just too numerous to name.  Thank you everyone who read my drivel over the last year, both on the blog and on twitter.  You have no idea how much this writing helps me.  I plan to post more often, continue the Banned Library fiction, maybe make some videos, and continue not going slowly insane with public service.

I also want to thank the site That Guy With the Glasses for providing hours of entertainment, some of which lifted my spirits when I really needed it.  They might not ever read this but every contributor to that site has made this year a happy one.

Finally, I want to thank one special person who I should thank more often for the love and support she gives me.  Love ya, darlin, and I promise not to lay on the couch like a bitch.  (She'll get that.)

Let me know in the comments if I missed something or if you have any thoughts on any of the above.  If you have any story ideas or just want to contact me, tweet to @bannedlibrary or email evan@bannedlibrary.com.  Thanks again.

School Library News: Buying Kindles and English Kids Can't Read

Lexington Elementary School in Monroe, LA has bought Kindles for their students in hopes that the electronic readers will promote student book clubs or something.  The kids definitely not use them to play games and surf the internet, they swear.  TheRepublic

A study by people with accents concluded that almost 4 million U.K. kids, almost 1 in 3, do not own a book.  When surveyed, the kids thought Doctor Who was the most bad ass Dr. Seuss character. TheTelegraph

Somebody Taught Levi Johnston to Write and Look What Came Out

Deer in the Headlights: Life in Sarah Palin's Crosshairs by Levi Johnston is set to come out September 20 and tell the other story behind the Palin family.  As you may remember, Levi Johnston is the high school boyfriend and baby's daddy to Bristol Palin, former Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin's daughter.  According to the Associated Press the book claims, among many things, Bristol wanted to get pregnant after her mom did, the two were having sex way before Bristol claims she drunkenly gave it up on a camping trip, and Sarah Palin wished to be called "Mommy Sarah" instead of grandma.  opposingviews

Just look at that cover and tell me that's not a trustworthy guy.  He's in camo for Christ's sake.  However, as a staunch anti-Palin, I have to trust everything he says as truth and not just a quick get rich scheme from some Alaskan redneck.  I will give him BIG props for admitting that not using condoms with the governor's baby-crazy daughter was "dumb."

New Stephen King Book a Time Romp

Scott Bakula's dreamy...

Stephen King's newest novel will be about a time traveler stopping the assassination of JFK encouraged by his friend Al.  Yep. I thought I had heard that premise, too.

I am not going to sit here on my sad little donkey and call out Stephen "I could write with my pee in the snow better than you" King.  Hell, I once pitched an idea for a novel that combined the plots of The Tempest and Death of a Salesman.  I do not know what I am talking about.  But com'on.  You better believe I am going to read it and I am almost sure it will be good.  But come the hell on...

I swear this is true and so does Library Journal.  Their swearing sounds classier, though.

President William McKinley's Books Set Free!

After nearly a century, the books of President William McKinley will be loosed up on the world.  Although this reviewer has not seen nor really finished any paragraph of any news report about this topic, he envisions horrors beyond belief.  Spells for calling up on eldrich abominations that loom in dimensions of darkness and decay haunt these texts.  Kittens and frogs transplanted in the world, living separately but equally upon lily pads of doom.  Doodles, oh the doodles of hellish configurations in the margins, wispy circular drawings of imaginable death and destruction. 

A more respectful look here.

Jose Canseco To Pen Third Masterpiece

The Tolstoy of our times.

Jose Canseco claims his third book will stay away from topics such as steroids and focus more on his life, the NY Daily news reports.  I can only assume this third novel will tell of his tenuous history at the premier magic school Boggswarts, and how he defeated the Great and Mighty to become the greatest Bats-man of them all. 

Seriously, I know this guy has lots of stories about baseball on the road (most of them pretty good, I bet), but after two books about getting so big your head and testicles are roughly the same size you should just keep up the trend.  Go into fiction, writing a wondrous story about a little boy who finds fame and fortune at the end of a needle.  Call it "Field of Misinformed Yet Successful Dreams."

What Do You Think Google's Gonna Do Tomorrow Night, Pinky?

So, earlier in history Google unveiled a new trending tool.  But we have already seen this one, you say.  No, no, silly one.  That was for the Internetz.  This one is for the bookz.  Yep, using their newly released catalog of ebooks, they trended every word and phrase for the last 90 years or so.

Why should we care about this?  Well, this will help people who care about how ideas are exchanged and move through our society care even more about that.  What it will help crazy people do is create more crazy theories.  Like my idea about the correlation of the popularity of cheese, pirates, and bears.  Yep.  Confirmed!

Books Ngram Viewer


Here's a real article about it

Smells Like Teen Fiction!

Ever gotten off of work at the library and had to go to the grocery store?  I have.  I have to do it all the time.  And while you are there, trying to decided between a great bottle of cooking sherry, a six pack of rot gut, or a screw top bottle of wine made from kiwi, have you noticed people staring at you?  Did they follow you to the frozen foods isle and watched as you picked through the $1 pizzas or the hot pockets?  Ever wonder why?  Well, librarian, just like a chef or garbage man, you carried that bit of work with you: the smell.

Smell the awesome, like burnt popcorn and flop sweat.

Have you ever wanted to feel that special on your days off without rubbing yourself down with a used copy of the Da Vinci Code?  Now you can!  The website CB I Hate Perfume offers a library aroma called "In the Library."  Promising the rich scent of bound books, the perfume guarantees that you will never be able to leave the library.  So go out and get your bottle today, cause god only knows what they will come up with next.

"In the Library" by CBihateperfume

All kidding aside, I like the idea of this product.  The sense of smell is one of the best triggers for memory.  Add the smell of a book to a great piece of knowledge and you retain a tactile bit of that knowledge.  Also, I love the smell of new books and old books, the glue, binding and paper all just seem more there to me, filling me with the hours of joy that I have had in the company of books.  I do not think I would like to desensitize myself to that odor by splashing it on me, though.  Anyway, fun idea for a product.

Love in the Stacks: New Books And Fire

It was something they could not shelve.  It was...  Love in the Stacks

Today is new book day.  Michelle has been partnered with Enrique to catalog the new items.  The computer system has collapsed, causing Carlos to be distracted from his romance with Michelle, a fact that Carlita, the buxom library assistant II, knows only too well. 

Enrique grunts as he picks up the large box full of the new Stevie Miller and the Wizard Mother Trucker books.  He carries it over to Michelle, who is wrapping the books as Enrique handwrites each record. 

“You can talk to me, you know,” Enrique said.

“You think I want to talk to you?  You stinky pig!  You beautiful bastard!”  Michelle stamped each book as she finished a sentence, making Enrique wince. 

“Michelle,” he said, “you do not have to take out your hate on the books.  Be gentle.”

“To hell with these books,” Michelle said, “And to hell with you.”

Silence as she wiped a tear from her eye.

“Besides, Stevie Miller turns out to be the Shadow in the end, the whole series was a dream, and the talking monkey was his father.”

Enrique gasped, “Michelle!  Tell me you did not look?”

“Yes, as I stamped them, I read them, dammit.  I know how Stevie Miller dies!  At least, in this book, anyway.  He always comes back.”

Enrique stood, pacing up and down, “Michelle, this cannot be.  This is horrible, you… you are a monster.”

“What the hell?!  I just read some dumb book!” Michelle said, standing to face him in the face.

Enrique grasped her shoulders, holding her and looking deep into her greenish eyes, “You have broken the catalog code.  You cannot be here.  But I don’t want you to go.”

“Plus, if I left,” she said, leaning into him, her hands reaching up to hold his, “this job would take you forever.”

“Yes, well, I-

Just then the door flew open and Carlos entered.

“Enrique! I have fixed the system, turns out it was unplugged the whole -  What the hell is going on here?” Carlos asked, his strong jaw jutting out.

“We,” Enrique said, pulling Michelle closer, “are cataloging each other.”

“Where the hell do you come up with this shit?” Michelle asked, slapping away Enrique’s hands. 

Before Enrique could speak, Carlita came bursting into the room, “Carlos!  Come quickly!  There is a fire, hot and sweaty and burning for you.”

“I shall be there in a moment, Carlita!”

“But, sir,” she said, pushing the dark hair off her face, exposing her eyes, one sky blue and one dark green, “We need you to put out this fire with your manly manliness.”

Carlos looked between Carlita and Michelle.  Enrique snorted and held up his hands. 

“I can put out this fire, Michelle,” Enrique said, and he hurried past Carlita.  Carlita stared after him and then followed.

Carlos turned to Michelle, “When I saw his hands on you, I could have killed him.”

“Well,” she said with a smirk playing on her lips, “I would have let you.”

Suddenly an alarm claxon began to sound and water began to pour from the sprinkler system.  Carlos moved toward Michelle, arms open, but she moved toward the newly packed books.

“We must protect the books!” Michelle cried.

Carlos stared, enjoying the way the water caused Michelle’s hair to glisten and her pale skin to radiate.  He grabbed the nearest box of books and with a grunt threw it under the nearest table.  Michelle did the same.

“No room for us under there, I guess,” Carlos said.

Michelle hopped up onto the desk, her hands behind her and her back arched, “Plenty of room on top.”

Before Carlos could go to her, the door opened again and Carlita entered.  The water had plastered her clothes to her body like a worn book jacket begging to be ripped off.  No curve or line had been left to the imagination.  Carlos’s jaw dropped.

“Enrique has caught fire,” Carlita said, running her hands through her midnight hair, pulling the water out even as more streamed down, “and I am all wet.”

She smiled at him as one would a piece of chocolate cake after a board meeting,

From behind Carlos, Michelle’s anger grew.  She grabbed the closest heavy object, Stevie Miller and the Wizard Mother Trucker, and threw it at Carlos.  It struck him in the head and he fell to the floor. 

Carlita shrugged and joined Michelle as they walked out the door. 

Is Carlos okay?  Why do the girls keep walking out together?  What happened with the fire?  Is Enrique okay?  How are they gonna clean up all that water?  Where do I buy Stevie Miller books?  Do these people ever meet any patrons?  

Find out next time on Love in the Stacks

And I thought my desk was big...

So when I think library furniture, I think functionality and durability.  Maybe some random wood.  Apparently these people think in terms of books.  Lots of books.  I wonder how many people think this is the book sale?

And here's where I got the goods...