Update Thursday: Cause We Do That

Update:  A mother who went to trial after being asked to leave an Atlanta library because her baby was laughing too loud was found guilty of obstructing a police officer by the jury after a two hour deliberation.  Police had video of her altercation with officers outside the library where she is clearly seen causing a public disturbance outside the library.  She was sentanced to 12 months probation, anger management classes, and parenting classes.  The mother, Donnetta Foster, had this to say:

"I definitely feel like I stood up for myself today... I spoke out against what I felt was wrong." CBS Atlanta

While I sympathize with Ms. Foster feeling wronged, I have the feeling she was led astray into going to trial.  This all seems like she and her lawyer somehow felt this would shift blame and put the library on trial like a Hollywood movie twist when in fact all that was in question for the courts was if she did or did not yell at a police officer.  There were many avenues she could have taken both on that day and after, but instead she chose to act rashly and now has a criminal charge on her record.

Update:  In other news, the Author's Guild is getting many fingers waggled at them for suing universities for allowing Google to digitize their library's "orphaned" books.  Orphaned books are books where the copyright holder cannot be located, and the universities felt that it had an obligation to keep these items in the public mind through digitization, many belonging in the HathiTrust.  So far the Library Copyright Alliance has stepped up to call the Guild's lawsuit 'deplorable" while the Author's Guild has fired back that many of the claimed 'orphaned books' are not orphaned at all but the author's can be tracked down with a simple Google search.   That's ironic in that many if not all of the items in the HathiTrust were scanned during the rocky Google Books project.

Crying Baby's Mama Goes to Court

An Atlanta mother who was asked to leave a library because of a crying baby is facing trial on obstruction of a police officer.  The incident happened when the mother was asked to leave a Dekalb County library because her child was being too loud.  As she left, she allegedly became irate and began cursing in front of children which lead to her being arrested.  If convicted, she faces a 12 month jail sentence. Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Do I believe a mother was asked to leave a library because of a crying baby?  Yeah, I have done it myself.  Do I believe the mother would become upset?  Yeah, I have faced that dragon before.  What I cannot believe is that the police would become involved if this was a simple screaming match.  I can only assume someone went all nuts somewhere in this but I can not speculate how.  I will assume Facebook was somehow involved, however. 

Let me 'splain.  No, too long, let me sum up.  The only parents with unruly or overly loud children I have ever asked to leave the library where the parents that were not watching their children.  I have bent over backwards for a single mom trying to fill out job applications, dads that need to get in and out with a cart of DVDs, and new parents that just do not quite know how grandma gets the rugrat to calm down so quickly.  But the parents that refuse to parent, the ones that sit on Facebook while Junior unplugs equipment like an IT tech and checks every room in the library for an echo factor.... They do not last long.  

I am not saying that this was the case with the DeKalb County lady.  I am just saying I understand.

Update: Mom gives her side which contradicts police report. Also, the title of this story is incorrect, the baby was only laughing, not crying. Atlanta Journal-Constitution

The Prepared Speech

In every librarian's life, one must create The Prepared Speech. Despite the name, there are multiple prepared speeches, from the "I am sorry that book is not in" to the "Yes, you must leave the building during the fire alarm." I hope to show you a quick and easy method of creating a prepared speech in just, eh, a few steps? How many is a few anyway? It could be several, I dunno. ON TO THE STEPS!!!

1. Determine the Meaning of the Speech. Just what are you trying to tell the listener? The message of your speech must be succinct and to the point. Cut any confusing terms or jargon from your speech. If possible, make the speech one long sentence that wraps around itself to verbally beat the message into the patron's head. Ex. You bring book back late make computer mad it give you wallet-pain cause you bring book back late.

2. Think about the Target Audience. Who is it you are trying to reach? The Meaning can greatly determine the audience, and vice versa. Is it a snotty boy testing boundaries? Is it a feeble old man with no boundaries left? Is it the crazy cat lady whose boundaries are marked by the scent of her feline companions over every item she returns? As you approach the person, tailor the speech to them and their sensibilities. And always remember to call big tattoo covered biker dude a he and not a she.

3. Fight the Urge to be Right. We have all been there. You are in a position where the patron argues up and down that they have returned all their materials and that page stuck to their shoe was torn out when they got there. You have paperwork, print-outs, surveillance footage, signatures, and Melvil Dewey as an eye witness. They are dead to rights wrong, and yet, so are you. Respectfully, acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes and the library is happy to eat the fines and wasted effort and property loss. All because you realize that the place you work, your livelihood, is the biggest pile of matches in the whole city and this may be the person to finally light the fuse.

4. When in Doubt, Bring Up Authority Figures. At some point, even after giving in to all the demands you can, some arguments have to be held onto. A danger is present that is more important than one single patron's personal vendetta: several other patron's personal vendettas. This patron has been talking on a cell phone while ignoring a screaming baby and eating something smelling akin to old socks in a dryer. Now it is time to go legal, bring in the director, lawyer, cops, fire department, National Guard, the FBI and possibly zombie Abe Lincoln himself to deliver a Four Score and Seven Brains Ago bureaucratic ass-whoopin.

5. Have Several Stopping Points In Case of Emergency. Finally, last but not least, plan stopping points in your Prepared Speech. You never know how long it may take to convince the other person to leave the library, and many things can happen in the meantime. Heart attacks, blind fits, hurricanes, fires, and infestation of locust may break up what would otherwise be a five minute "this is how it is" treatment. Plan accordingly.

We hope that you have enjoyed this small yet helpful look at planning Prepared Speeches. For more on this topic, see someone who gives more of a damn. I just work here.